think2much's POD (Poem of the day)

I am fine... Thanks for asking.
fine
dandy
happy
alright
Prosac
I am trying to quit smoking.
pissed off
angry
craving
shaking
clenching
nerves
Prosac
I just smoked a few puffs off a cigar.
relaxed
refreshed
replenished
calm
collected
Prosac

oh why my heart must you repine
aching breaking wearing down my mind
holding fast to errors and misspent time
letting go of nothing, unforgiven you remind

with arms raised not in victory, but defeat
I fall to my knees, repentance incomplete
living too close to hell and its fiery heat
waiting for that reaper to come and reap

reap damn darkness, come and reap
I cannot run, and you know I've lost all sleep
I am losing this battle I conceed
take my life, its not worth the living for me

the sky is no longer filled with stars nor blue
the flowers have lost their scents and hues
their is no joy, or color, nothing to renew
life is like unending bitter winter
and I succomb to you

if I told you how I love you
you'd not understand me anyway
in my heart you do have place
but no peace for the stay

if you read this then you'll twist it
you'll think it wasn't written for you
never to see anything good
what am I supposed to do?

crucify me for my sins
and stand blameless for it all
stand superior as always
and watch me as I fall

break my legs so I can't breathe
I don't need to anymore
pierce my side so I can bleed
I am the devil to the core

String up my dead limp body
hang it from a tree
show my sins to the world
if that makes you happy

put my remains in a box
not believing I loved you
turn your faith to the future
but I loved you more than you knew

Endless waves of swelling thoughts
break across the restless mind.
Oh where for art thou elusive sleep
why dost thou take thy time?

Why cannot my heart beat slower
when my muscles become weak?
Why must my mind think on too much
and chase away sweet sleep.

Why dost my heart ache on so
never to forget the pain?
Will I never not be plagued by it?
Must the song remain the same?

Oh God, I know thou hearest me.
When will thou grant me my request?
I ask neither for fame nor riches,
nor a life of all the best.

Thou knowest I have but one wish
one neverending need
a child crying o'er lost innocence
just bring me peace, just peace indeed