Family hck.exe.

Doesn't EVERYONE have that one relative that you just can't STAND, and yet the rest of the family loves them?
It's a cousin for me. We went to a chinese food restaraunt for dinner tonight, for the old mans birthday (42), so, there's my cousin. She's eleven? Not sure..Anyhow, the whole time, all she does is bitch. Bitch at my grand parents, bitch at her parents, bitch at her five year old sister; and her parents just sat there and tried to block it out... It was so bad, I would have rather rolled down a hill of broken glass and used seringes than have been there for another minute. So, when dinner's over, the bills come 'round; and this smack tard gets off her chubby ass, hobbles around the table, checks EVERYONES receipt and makes sure they paid the right amount..Who the hell does she think she is? The tip police?
The restaraunt is right by the harbour..You know, someone could fall in there, and no one would find them for days...God damn, the whole ride home, I was hoping, PRAYING that there car would flip over the median somehow, and that she'd be thrown out of the windshield into on coming traffic..Of course, some how the rest of them would need to be sparred of any injury what so ever..Call it an act of god?
And my neighbours...They've got to be the stupidest things on the face of the planet; they must be from Digby-er, well, no...I lie... Not the father, Noel, but his kids. In summer they have this crummy little pool for children; you know the kind. The ones that are only slightly lower than nipple height? Those kids wake up at the crack of dawn, run out there, and SCREAM at each other at the TOP of their lungs, EVERY GOD DAMN MORNING. I don't know how the man doesn't just put their little heads under water and wait for those tiny little limbs to stop squirming..Seriously, how much fun can you have screaming at your sibblings in nipple high, luke warm water? Apparently, lots.
And in the winter, they run around in the snow...They love snow..They love snow so much, they take it from my yard. I don't like snow, I hate it..But it's MINE when it's in MY yard..And I'll do with it as I please. I want to stair at it for a few hours? Fine. I want to frolic in it naked? Cool. I want to pee in it, and roll around for a while in it? Whatever works for me, because it's MINE, all for ME.
But they take it...They slowly slink their way into my yard, stairing into my windows, like they're so sly. Well guess what? They aren't. I'm bigger, faster, smarter, louder. They can't slink by me. Then they scream at each other some more..Sometimes fists are thrown..But it's never enough to shut one of them up...Someday I hope that a pack of stray dogs just HAPPENS to by coming out of the path as they play. Or that the plough driver just HAPPENS to not see one of them..Now that would make my day.
Oh, and my cousin, you know, the tip police? Whenever she's here, she does this thing..Where she kind of spies on you. She slowly makes her way around the house, hiding behind the walls, listening and watching you as you turn around..But, you can see her. She's very over weight for her age, and thus, she's always visible.
*Loud breathing coming from behind the wall*
"..So yeah, like I wa-"
"Dude, is that a leg?"
"I CAN SEE YOU COURNTEY!"
*Thick leg is pulled quickley back behind the wall*
"...She'll get tired of it soon..Pretend like you're asleep."
Idiot...
Last and not least, we had an "In your opinion" question on a test, she gave me half points for it...How is my opinion wrong? I'll learn her one good..People's elbow, straight to the ovaries..
So that's it...I won't be awake to read your responses or flames, I've got exams tomorrow
Good night.

That was actually a pretty funny rant actually, one of the funniest I've read in a while! I just hope you don't mean half of what you said but still

Oh yeah about the Kids screaming at the top of their lungs, I feel your pain. I have packs of children who do that in summer and I live just down the street from my old grade school

Ah man, that's rough...
I live fifteen minutes away from two elementry schools and a junior high..It's terrible.
Good to know someone shares the pain though.