Mr T., page 1

>Some facts about Mr. T
>
>As a child MR. T used to go into the sewers of NY and hunt alligators. I
>know what you are thinking: "There are no alligators in the sewers of NY".
>Yeah...Now!
>Mr. T has removed Pee Wee Herman from existence for making fun of his
>cereal.
>The word "fool" originates from the time God created the universe without
>first obtaining a permit from Mr. T. T was so angry he made God permanently
>invisible.
>Mr. T destroyed the periodic table, saying Mr. T. only recognizes the
>element of surprise.
>Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe
>anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws
>paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he
>takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought
>your paper would protect you."
>Mr. T scared the black out of Michael Jackson.
>Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
>Mr. T does not get headaches. That's it... that's the whole joke. He just
>doesn't get them.
>Mr T once punched his way back to the 80's just to kill Richard Simmonds
>Google won't search for Mr. T because it knows you don't find Mr. T, he
>finds you.
>The Mr. T Paradox: As Mr. T can do anything, can Mr. T create a fool so
>foolish that not even Mr. T can pity the fool?
>Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding
>his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is
>
>always understood.
>When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.
>Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.
>The last time Mr.T went hunting he got a 10 point buck, a white rhino and
>two bald eagles... He is no longer allowed into the Zoo.
>The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.
>When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand
>prints after the cement was dry.
>Mr. T was almost involved in a second car crash. To avoid the crash, he
>folded his arms and slowly shook his head. The car decided it was safer to
>avoid Mr. T.
>Mr. T walked in front of a speeding bus. Needless to say, he was charged
>with 7 counts of manslaughter.
>Human females have two X chromosomes. Males have an X and a Y. Mr. T has
>three Ys and a T. He's more man than you'll ever be.
>Mr. T isn't afraid of flying, but God fears the consequences of letting him
>fall.
>Mr T. and Chuck Norris decided to spar, they travelled to the only safe
>place in the Universe, the beginning of time. They bowed to each other and
>Chuck launched in with a roundhouse kick. Mr. T blocked it, and the
>resulting pressure wave is commonly called the Big Bang.
>That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to
>
>read this sentence.
>Mr. T wears all those chains to hide the fact that he has no nipples, and is
>
>not, in fact, human.
>Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T
>
>in the chest. the result was the 80's.
>Children are afraid of the dark. Dark is afraid of Mr. T.
>Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at
>Denny's forgot his birthday.
>Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and
>realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.
>Mr. T once ate four 72 oz. steaks in 12 minutes. He spent the first 5
>minutes laughing at the fact it takes Chuck Norris fifteen minutes to eat
>three.
>Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him