A reflection on Love

I've heard many people say "it's better to have loved then lost, than to never have loved at all..."

It began to make me think, is it really better to have loved then lost?

On one hand it is better to have loved then lost because at least you have felt the stongest of all human emotions; but on the other, had you never loved at all, I guess you don't know what your missing...

I'm undecided on the subject, having recently "loved then lost"...
I'm interested to know what you lot think, so post your ideas please.

Thanks.

[edit on 27/1/06 by eternally_damaged]

I really though this would have been a good topic, oh well so much for a 1st thread...

Nah just kidding - ATS is the best!

[edit on 11/2/06 by eternally_damaged]

Thats an interesting thought ED. I think that it could apply to many things. We simply don't miss what we have never had. I would add though that if you had not loved you would not have learned that there are also many aggrevations involved with that as well. No matter what it is it can't always be peaches and creme.

Amen Burnt Offering.

...why do I get replies now instead of when I started it? I guess it's a psychological thing - "look that poor guy, he didn't get any posts, c'mon guys lets give him one - a good deed for the day"

Seriously though thanks Burnt Offering

[edit on 11/2/06 by eternally_damaged]

I guess its just one of them "simple but hard" questions,

I have loved, and i have lost,

Im not sure lol, I think both ways you are going to feel the pain in the end

1, If you fall in love then it ends the pain can be so bad

but...

2, If you have never loved, Then Yes you dont know what you are missing,

but its human nature that makes us then want to know, So intern we would end up wishing we had loved, again this would cause us to feel lonley....which itself can be a awfull pain


So i say Throw it at me! lol,

Guess its better to be loved and lost for the soul reason that you can look back and think of the love part,


gosh makes me want to send you all hugs lol

**HUGS**



[edit on 11-2-2006 by asala]

Originally posted by asala

gosh makes me want to send you all hugs lol

**HUGS**



[edit on 11-2-2006 by asala]

YAY!!! Hugs all round!

Seriously though, your right asala, it is a tough question.

Thanks for the replies!

You posted:

"Amen Burnt Offering.

...why do I get replies now instead of when I started it? I guess it's a psychological thing - "look that poor guy, he didn't get any posts, c'mon guys lets give him one - a good deed for the day"

Seriously though thanks Burnt Offering

[edit on 11/2/06 by eternally_damaged]

Do you need makeovers to get through the day.....and do you believe you deserve makeovers to get through the day???

Remember this when you fall in and out of love the next time.


Thanks,
Orangetom

Originally posted by orangetom1999

Do you need makeovers to get through the day.....and do you believe you deserve makeovers to get through the day???

Remember this when you fall in and out of love the next time.


Thanks,
Orangetom

I'm sorry Orangetom I don't know what you mean :shk:

Is it true for everyone...I don't know because when I lose at love it's hard for me to actually say I was ever in love in the first place.

IF that person wasn't the "one" for me did I ever truly love him?

My answer is always--prolly not. That maybe my huge but tender ego or maybe its a defense mechanism, either way I don't really dwell on lost love longer than it takes to close the door and put my mind to something else.

I guess it is better to feel something than nothing, like asala has said. Like those first few months when you meet someone knew and everything is just rosy...the cycle begins



then you start all over again

I've loved and lost a couple times myself. Personally, I feel that it's more painful after having lost, but on the other hand, you learn important lessons (especially about trust!).

It's been a year and a half since my wife left me... an event orchastrated by her manipulative mother who never came to the wedding (long story).

It hurt, but at the same time, it forced me to take a different perspective on life. No longer do I require companionship to be happy. I'm simply happy in knowing that I've become my ideal self, and I like who I am. No one can take that away from me.

I think one of the worse things you can do, is to latch onto someone immediately after breaking up. It might fill a gap, but you might be worse off than before. Rushing into things is a bad gamble.

It's been years since I've dated and I'm not sure I will any time soon. The desire for companionship is still there, but I think it's just a human instinctive desire. After all, if I'm happy, why fix what isn't broken?

I know by your posts that you didnt know what I meant..thats why I posted it..food for your thinking apparatus.

Many times we tend due to our natures to love things or people which are not in the long run good for us. We also often tend to think love is like a entitlement program..we deserve it...we are not totally complete or alive without it. We cant go on....we are damaged goods..

Also ..we deserve makeovers ...for second place...hugs etc etc...

the real question for us is did we learn anything outside of more self justification. Did we learn in a manner benficial for us the next time out..or do we just plod blindly along..making the same mistakes ...again ..and failing this ..take the makeover???

"Love"....is not a victimization/entitlement program as is so often portrayed in our media..education ..and talk show formats. There are no entitlements for second place.

Think ..the next time..dont just wallow in a feeling ...love ...love..love....blindly..

You learn to suck it up...and get going.

In short..I dont feel sorry for you...

Thanks,
Orangetom

In my experience the brighter the flame the quicker it burns out. Life has so many things to offer; so much contrast and intensity. It would be kind of boring if all you knew about the depths of human emotion came from chick flicks and greeting cards.

Thanks for all the replies people!

You got me to chuckling to myself here again.

The other night ..nothing much happening and the woman I am seeing came over. I decided we should go to the local video store and check out some movies...and stay home and cook.
I rubbed her feet after dinner while we watched a chick flick. It was titled " In Her Shoes" . I dont normally like chick flicks much but this one turned out to be pretty good in the end. It was mostly about the relationship of two very different sisters and how they reconciled their differences over time.
I do not particularly care for Cameron Diaz...at all. The movie plot made her tolerable..however.. and I stuck it out. It is rare that I enjoy chick flicks but this was one of them. She didnt make it through the movie but fell asleep under my careful foot rubbing. I finished off the popcorn and the movie.

Thanks,
Orangetom.

I love that movie, OT99! I saw it with my sister...we are two very different people but really close. That's a dope sister movie, prolly one of the best I've seen in a long time, and I'm not a big Cameron Diaz fan either still the plot made you care about what happened.

ps...ya girl is soooo lucky--a chick flick and a foot rub--you might just be ats' valentine of the year!

Now you have me chuckling to myself.

I am not a big observer of holidays. I did however go with the woman I am seeing to the Valentines Dance at the local Fraternal Order of Police Lodge.
Not much of a big dancer either but I struggled through. Its was one of the few times I dressed up ..outside of jeans.
We had a good time ...and even made a couple of requests of the person managing the mucic. Our favorite is the Platters "Smoke gets in your eyes."

While I am not one of them ..I did find out one thing..there are some serious drinkers at the FOP.

We are thinking about going back to taking ball room dancing lessons.

Yes ..I even shed some tears for them when the two sisters in the movie made up..over thier differences.
I've had some serious differences with my own brother ..in the end the baggage of the parting became to much for us...we are still brothers. It is so good get that baggage behind us.

Thanks,
Orangetom

if you have truly loved even once, then how can you ever lose that love.
Love is Eternal. It is never lost.
That which can be lost was never love.




[edit on 25-2-2006 by mr conspiracy]

Once the hurt is truly healed then its probably better to have loved and lost.