Dressed down....

I had an interesting conversation with some friends of mine today...and thought i'd post to see what you ats folks think.


When in a relationship....does your significant other or gf/bf often encourage you to dress down or doesn't worry about what you look like just so that others of the opposite sex won't look at you?

It is actually quite weird...if you look at most couples, obviously, the guy want's his girl to look smokin hott.....short skirts and the lot, because it is sort of an accomplishment from a man's perspective...but some women say "it's ok if you eat that", or do they brush off the fact that you are concerned about gaining a few pounds?

Do you women ever tell your man that he should change clothes if he looks rather smashing in "those jeans", or do you guys ever tell her to put on baggy pants rather than the mini?

This just really sparked my interest, and i was curious how many guys/girls do or have had this done to them.....

Now think back to all the off-handed comments that he/she may have said to you, and you'd be suprised what you find. I was.

My ex husband would try either depending on who he wanted to show me off to or where we were.

I remember once when he walked in the house from work and I was getting ready for a meal we were both going to. The first thing he said was "Youre not wearing that" It was the first time we'd been out since the birth of the youngest child and I thought I looked nice. I wasnt too sexy or too short but he didnt like it.
He marched me to Asda and into the changing rooms in the George department and picked out clothes for me to try on... picking the dowdiest, baggiest stuff on the planet.

I ended up coming out with a pair of black trousers and a cardigan. Needless to say I asked him to leave a couple of weeks after that. (For that reason and a few others too)

I find that its usually what insecure people do. Its quite sad really and Id never put up with it again. Picking fault with your spouse is one of the cruelest things you can do. Its very very hard to regain confidence and self worth when someones ripped it apart.

I dont care how my boyfriend wants to dress as long as I can rip it off at the end of the evening

[edit on 3-1-2006 by SapphireHarlequin]

[edit on 3-1-2006 by SapphireHarlequin]

I dont really care how my girlfriends (not multiple at one time ) dress really. They can get all hot, wear miniskirts or whatever, and I'll like it of course, but I wont tell them to dress a certain way or anything. I do, however, enjoy seeing any sexy girl in a regular oversized tshirt and sweatpants, or baggy (not TOO baggy) jeans. That can sometimes be hotter than the so called "hot clothes" .

sure...there has to be something to the imagination sometimes...i KNEW this was with people than just myself....

i don't think it's necessarily playing on your spouses insecurities...i think it's thier own insecurities about thinking they will "jump ship" or "upgrade" as some guys put it.

it's funny what some people will do with jealousy.

or stupidity for that matter.

As a woman, I love it when my guy dresses well. Not that I have a guy at the moment, but I still love well-dressed dudes. The better he makes himself look, the better I look for getting to have him. If other girls hit on him, I could care less--- As long as he's not doing anything about it!

I've actually never had a guy ask me to dress either more or less sexy. I think I've been blessed enough to keep only the decent ones around for long enough for them to be even remotely comfortable commenting on something like that. If I magically get hotter, will I upgrade to a hotter man? Odds are, probably not. If a man decides he can tell me how to dress--- I will definitely upgrade to a better one.

On the man's side of this one, I've actually had a friend who thought that pj pants were the sexiest thing a woman could wear. But yet I've had some who've asked me "What's up with women not wanting to wear shorter skirts and tighter tops?" I suppose it's all in which man you pick.

Originally posted by SapphireHarlequin
I find that its usually what insecure people do. Its quite sad really and Id never put up with it again. Picking fault with your spouse is one of the cruelest things you can do. Its very very hard to regain confidence and self worth when someones ripped it apart.

Yeah- I used to get the "Who are you trying to impress?!" thing as well.. I compromised but [as anticipated] got accused of trying to cheat anyway so went back to wearing what I wanted [and left of course ]. I figure it was a test to see how much I could be controlled.. if someone dictates what their partner is allowed to wear then there is no partnership. Clothes are obviously the expression of the individual so underminding that expression is in essence trying to erase part of them.. at the very least it's disrespectful.

The way it is with me and my gf is: we simply dress the same way we always have. We liked each other from the start, so dressing any different isn't necessary. My gf is a goth, if she suddenly started wearing other clothes because she thinks that's what I like, it would be a heck of a shock for one, and two, it wouldn't work at all.

We do comment every once in a while (we have better things to talk about than clothes, so the subject doesn't come up often). If one of us recommends something and the other likes it, then cool. If not, *shrugs* just wasn't our thing and we forget about it in a few hours anyways while arguing about which tastes better, Hawaiian Punch or Coke (I say Hawaiian Punch).

Recently tho, my gf has wanted me to get a short haircut like I used to have a few years ago. I'm not completly into the idea yet. It's still winter and it's cold. Besides, everybody loves naturally curly hair.

Well that's my bit.

I agree with it being the action of an insecure person, he/she should see absolutely no reason why U shouldn't wear what U have in your wardrobe because it is an expression of yourself. Who would have a problem with that ?
I mean unless the wardrobe change comes out of nowhere, then by all means there is a discussion to be had.

I recall one time, I came downstairs wearing a hotter than hot corset top (it was actually lingerie but covered well, I don't dress even remotely hoochie-like lol) with jeans, I thought I looked great ... the man I had just started seeing told me what SapphireHarlequin heard from her ex, and so he became an ex just as soon as he became my man lol

I don't play that dumb stuff, and I don't have the patience for someone trying to play my daddy. I dress well, with class and I like to glam up every now and then, make it a lil sexy but just don't hate k ? lol




[edit on 5-1-2006 by ImJaded]
mod edit: do not circumvent the censors

[edit on 5-1-2006 by sanctum]

I'll admit that the few times sex happens between me and a women, it's so wild and intense that we don't even think about these things at all... I'm already in another time/space continuum!

I always thought people rationalize too much... or perhaps it's just that they're not really following a volcanic passion, but rather some contextual desires and pulsions.

[edit on 14/2/06 by Echtelion]

My fiance loves when i dress very sexy for him and not just privately. I sometimes feel a little weirded out by it but he doesn't get jealous, just the opposite, when other guys check me out or even hit on me. Is he a freak?