Vamp Hunter Burl "Wake 'em and Stake 'em" Purry

Weekly World News (so prepare to laugh)

HOUSTON -- Cool-as-ice vampires melt in fear when they hear that Burl "Wake 'em and Stake 'em" Purry is on their trail.

Known as the world's toughest vampire hunter, he's said to have exterminated 956 of the creatures since 1979.

The 6-foot-2, 200-pound ex-Green Beret and veteran of the Texas Rangers has successfully tracked down the undead in Mexico, Japan, Romania and even New York City. "I love the stench a dying blood-sucker gives off as it crumbles into dust -- it's the smell of victory," he declares with a grin.

*snip*

"However, some members do argue that he uses excessive force."

Houston-based Purry, who charges a hefty $4,500 fee for his services, is usually called in by local law enforcement officials who've been unable to deal with a persistent vampire problem.

www.weeklyworldnews.com...

Man, this is some stupid stuff. Has anyone actualyl heard of this guy? Or is he just some looney?

edit at member's request to add link, BB code and shorten quote

[edit on 8-7-2005 by DontTreadOnMe]

Um, it is the weekly (weakly) world news.

www.weeklyworldnews.com...

Just looking at some of their headlines is enough to send me into uncontrollable laughter for hours.

I tend to not believe anything written in supermarket tabloids.

even if it was real 956? haha that's wayyyy too unbelievable.

Wow I live in Houston, maybe I should say hi and then he can show me the ropes of slaying vampires.

I get an issue of weekly world news whenever I can, the articles in their are ridiculous to the point of hilarity

Even if it wasn't a story from the weekly world news, it still isn't believable. No government or police would admit vampires exist. Besides there are so many beliefs about vampires that any process this guy uses could be totally useless against an undead. Then the final question that will probably never be answerd, do the vampires actually exist?

A good book about vampires: Vampires: The Occult Truth by Konstantinos.

Then the final question that will probably never be answerd, do the vampires actually exist?

Do they, no, did they, sorta.

A few ideas got woven into vampires, a couple medical conditions, some religious rituals, a few animals, that sort of thing. I suppose a few Alien connections should be added to that list, medical experiments that sort of thing.

Today there are people who wish to be called vampires, fine with me. There are people who get all wierd, unstable, and afraid in connection with the idea, not fine with me. (really not fine for reasons I am not sure I am ready to explain here)

I do not think I can comment on the original story in this thread. But I will say if such a person showed up on my property, and proclaimed anything like what the story says, I would probably take drastic action just in case.



A.T
(-)

I just got a warning and 50 point deduction for forgetting to only paste the title and then provide the link to document. Oh well. Problem is that I can't see any edit option at ALL - which is weird. I am logged in obviously by the way (derr Im posting).

I've been reading The Weekly World News website. Damn its hilarious - almost considering subscribing just for a weekly laugh!

I think you should consider it,

I go by the Drug Store every week and pic up an issue, guaranteed to make you laugh your ass off.

i hope this "wako" is'nt going around killing "vampires"

Originally posted by Majestic12
I think you should consider it,

I go by the Drug Store every week and pic up an issue, guaranteed to make you laugh your ass off.

Bad news is that I live in Australia - so no shops in my small resort town stock anything remotely interesting except some silly 'magazine' (more of a broshure series) from a cleverly hidden 'church'.

That is pretty crappy. You should be getting a subscription then.

Hey, maybe we should be focusing on WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY KILLING!? Jesus Christ!

LMAO. This guy isn't kiling anyone. The articles in the Weekly World News are all works of fiction created by some dude that lives in his mom's basement.

Originally posted by Majestic12
LMAO. This guy isn't kiling anyone. The articles in the Weekly World News are all works of fiction created by some dude that lives in his mom's basement.

I'd buy that for a dollar!!

Or less

I agree, if this person existed in a metro area there would definately be large amounts of publicity from police and media trying to track a serial killer.

Not only that but gun sales would sky rocket because people would be scared of getting killed by a vampire.