You and your 2 cows

This was in an e-mail I received, remember it is just a joke.

DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you
to sell one to raise money to pay the tax.
The people you voted for then take tax money, buy a cow and give
it to your neighbor.
You feel righteous and Barbara Streisand sings for you.


SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.


CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.


DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to
support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a
gift from your' government.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays
you for
the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.


AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd
one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized
and are
reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.


FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch.
Life is good.


JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and
produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably
crowded
trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.


GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give
excellent
quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.


ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.


RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.


TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk
them
because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. Then you kill
them
and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital.


POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.


FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best
looking
one. Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the
black one.
Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people
can't
figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from
out-of-state
tell you which is the best-looking one.

Can't I just have tucows.com?

-B.

Is email slow in your parts, Outlaw?

(J/K).

Originally posted by MaskedAvatar
Is email slow in your parts, Outlaw?

I assume this has been around awhile from your reply MA, I just got it this morning. Maybe just the people who sent them to me are slow. hehe

Lol, that list is pretty funny. I like the American and the Japanese ones.

Vegetarian
You have two cows.
You build a prosperous buisness based solely around milk products.
Life is good.

Vegan
You have two cows.
You have two self sustaining lawnmowers.
You starve to death.

Hindu
You have two cows.
You build a shrine to them, charging a thousand rupees for admission.
Life is good.


XAOS