What should I do?

There is this girl at work that for a while i didn't have feelings for but then as we just started working together more and talking, I just kinda fell in love with and loved being around her, that it killed me to go during the week and not seeing her, because I only see her on saturday or sunday, sometimes just sunday, so i tried to tell her she was beautiful in her language (Turkish), But I accidentally said it wrong and she asks me to tell her what did I mean to say before she told me what it was and I said you are beautiful, and she laughs and says that I said you are rude, and then she says thanks. So after that she kinda started talking to me a little more and then when I was out in the parking lot, I seen her going to get into her car and I asked her could I ask her something and she says ok, so I asked her could I take her out sometime and she says, are you asking me out, and I said yes, and she said Im kinda already in a relationship, and I told her I was sorry that I should have asked her did she have a boyfriend and she told me she was kinda sorry to. Well about three weeks later on easter bought her roses and wrote her a note (which maybe I took it to far and shouldn't have done it) So at first she told me she didn't know if she could accept them or not, that she wasn't expecting them, but she was like I'll read your letter first and then tell you what I think, so later on I asked her is she gonna accept them or not and she tells me that she accepted them as my friend and because it's easter. She told me that you only buy your girlfriend red roses. (Which I guess is kinda true in a way.) It turns out she left the roses and note in the accounting room hidden, which she didn't have to lie to me and tell me she accepted them, but I guess she just did that to not hurt my feelings, i guess that's why. So for about 3 weeks she didn't really talk to me much after that, but last week she actually started talking to me again. She was casheering and I went to bag for her and she surprisingly says my name and tells me that I haven't been talkative today and I told her that i am fine, that im just tired, and then she says well is everything ok, and I was like yea, and she was like are you sure, and i said yea. So that was the whole conversation. So what should I do or should have done? Should i have bought her those roses, which I feel like I shouldn't have. I will see her tomorrow for the first time since I last had that conversation with her, maybe I'll just talk to her more and whatever happens happens. I hope this isn't to long for you to read.

You're closer than you think.

what exactly do you mean?

She's involved with someone else which you didn't know but now you do. You can still be a friend to her. You just have to know their are limits that friends can't step outside of. No reason you can't tell her you're a little embarressed about the roses, clear the air and then be a friend.

Originally posted by dbrandt
She's involved with someone else which you didn't know but now you do. You can still be a friend to her. You just have to know their are limits that friends can't step outside of. No reason you can't tell her you're a little embarressed about the roses, clear the air and then be a friend.

Yes you are right, thank you. I will try to clear the air.

Originally posted by RANT

You're closer than you think.

Yes, I think I know what you mean. I don't want her to think that I am creepy.

right....lets get a few things sorted out....

1. she has a boyfriend

2. Im no expert but i think shes made it quite blatant that shes not intrested.

3. If you carry on trying to implement things in your head that suggest she may change her mind your going to drive your self (and probably her aswell?) mad.

but is all lost?.........er?.....yes probably but you could try this one last ditch attempt to win her affections that i have concockted for you.....as follows....





firstly dress like the above.

repeatedley tell her her boyfriends a 'bally Cad' and a 'no for good chap'

tell her she needs a man of good social standing and then challenge her boyfriend to pistols at dawn.

however....ensure you win by turning up with a gun like this......mow him down!




hide the body.....and hopefully she will realise that you are a brave and charming chap that she would better spend her time and affections on.

her turkish family will be suitiably impressed by her warrior type boyfriend and ask you to join their family......either that or her brothers and uncles will stab you to death.

however personally....id just forget about her and stop wasting your time.

She told me that I could always talk to her and be her friend, so I guess that's better than nothing.

Originally posted by jca2005
She told me that I could always talk to her and be her friend, so I guess that's better than nothing.

OK now you have to reign in feelings that you have for her. Think about things carefully before you say and do them. Don't dwell on her in that way anymore(won't be easy) and now open yourself up to the possibililty of meeting someone else.

She told me that I could always talk to her and be her friend, so I guess that's better than nothing.

Well, much simpler than optimusfett's idea, but it did have charm...

hey you have a sore situation... the best thing you can do is just talk to her as a friend... if you build your confiedence it will also bring hers up aswell. if things go wrong with her boyfriend-person... then she will come to you for help. be there for her and she will see what she is missing... but you cant always predict somebodys feelings... just see how it goes and just be the best man friend she has because when her boyfriend has done something that women cant understand they always go to the male friend to see why they did it! so just be there for her and she will see you for you and just dont pradade her with gifts because she will think you are possessive and that is a massive turn off! so i hope it works out for you but remember you have to be a friend before anything else. good luck... oni x x x x x x x

[edit on 6-5-2005 by Oni x x]

Oni and her X's lol. but she has good advice.

now is it just me or are Turkish/middle eastern women just trouble? Seem like a two sided dagger to me. They are beutiful on hand, but strngly neurotic on the other. anyway, id just do like oni said be a friend but start looking elsewhere for lovins.

Uh.. Some racial profiling in here.

Anyways, I think you have been coming on to her in sort of creepy ways.
Especially since she already is involved.

Sorry, not trying to do any harm, just speaking the truth.

Ok heres my tips if you want to get her, if you don't...then shes not good enough for you.

1. Be VERY polite around her, to her and other people.
2. Dress nicely when your not in your work uniform (when shes around)
3. Get a laid back, softened attitude
4. talk to her about normal things
5. When your talking, stare at her with softened eyes

And once you think she likes you back say this

"I would very much like to kiss you..."


It worked on my girl..but...she was mine before I even did that..

For my girl I was just calm, and relaxed, and such...

Good luck mate

ok holmes... back off her, shes not yer woman. if some guy did this to my girl, I would be very upset, if some girl did this to me, id be very upset and tell her off and not like her, cause I have my own girl and shes just perfect
SO BACK OFF the woman, she isnt yours!!!!! or else be "", ":bnghd:" and rightfully so by her, others, and HIM