I'm Depressed and Dissappointed

I tried my best, I did everything I thought I could do to help them, but yet drama is always there. My cousin, who just turned 18 on th 4/20 is 11 weeks pregnant. she has been hiding her pregnancy from the family until now. I took this girl into my home in the beginning of this year when she ran away from her mom's house, I drove her to and from GED classes everyday, she told me she wanted to be a medical billing code specialist, she was going to go to school for it. I've been researching and contacting schools for her. She passed her GED, I helped her get a job, I thought she was on the right track. She said she didn't want to get married or start a family till next year but yet she got pregnant.

My aunt is crushed, my granny is distraught, my entire family, my mom...all my aunts are sad, dissappointed and well scared. There's nothing I or any of us can do now to change this situation, to prevent this girl from making a mistake she might regret, it has been done, my worst fears have been realized and now she has to deal with the consequences.

The guy is in this country on a student visa and imo just looking to get his papers and this baby gives him the insurance he needed. I tried to tell this girl since she was 15, that the attentions of a 21 year old man wasn't healthy, she didnt listen

I can only offer my support and help her as a sister, a cousin once again, I have to be willing to accept her with all her baggage and flaws even though sometimes I feel like I can't. My heart is breaking and tears are running down my face as I type this, i just got off the phone with my aunt who just broke down in her driveway. It rips me apart inside to listen to my aunt, the woman who raised me, cry. It burns me inside to see my almost 84 year grandmother shed tears. It eats me up to see such a beautiful and bright girl chose the path which she did. My family has slowly crumbling over the past 3 years, now we have fallen apart and are lying there likes crumbs on a empty plate.

I know why I am in this family, I know it is my purpose to help them, to keep them together, to keep them sane, to provide support to all who need it, but right now I'm feeling very weak and i feel my burden may be too great for me to carry. I don't know how much longer I can offer my shoulder and my ears without also breaking down. I hope by writing this I am able to relieve some of what is on my mind and that I can continue to be strong, stable and sane for them all.

I'm sorry to hear of your situation and I hope it all works out in the end. Just remember there's always a light at the end of the tunnel.

You seem a strong enough person to get through this, and at least you're not the type of person who abandons those close to them in their hour of need. I respect that and I wish you good luck.

Yeah, teenagers. You can try to teach them to use their brains - but you can't ride in the backseat on dates to make sure they do.

I'm sorry for the hardships your cousin's decision will bring on her and her goals. But in the end you must remember it has only made her walk in life toward whatever goals she has more difficult - not impossible.

There's only one bad choice we can make that can keep us from our goals - the decision to quit. She now has to buck up, grow up and work harder in many areas of her life, but she can do it. And especially with good family like yourself.

GEEZ...thats a toughy....not that im any where qualified to give any sort of advice but have a little faith in the universe and let it run its path.....things always work out in the end.......i feel for you.

chin up and i hope you feel better soon,

Big hug, fett.

Yep, what Val said.

The highway of life may require an unscheduled side trip.
Eventually you will get to your original destination.

Things may have not happened in the correct order. But it can all be sorted out.

I'm sure you will make sure the child does not grow up feeling he/she was a mistake.

thank you all, I'm trying, I won't give up on any of them and thankfully god gave me a supportive and understanding husband who is my shoulder to lean on and he let me find this second home with the most wonderful array of people and friends.

I bought her the book "What to know when you're Expecting" gonna give it to her later today and get on her case about seeing a regular doctor and taking vitamins and such now. I'm waiting for my aunt to call me with the latest news, since she is meeting with the guy's parents today where they will discuss some sort of decision as to marriage, shacking up, whatever it is they decide. The biggest problem I face now is keeping the mother/daughter relationship together, they both hold a lot of resentment towards each other, for years now, and this incident is almost like putting a nail in the coffin of that relationship for them. I only hope I can show them both that they still need and will need that relationship now and in the future. But it's not helping the situation right now that my grandmother and my mother are now not talking to each other since having a fight over this and that all the family is supposed to be here at the end of May for a special prayer ceremony we were supposed to be having for granny's birthday.

I can't wait for tomorrow night, I need a few really stiff drinks.

Thats always a sad situation, noone ever wants their teens to "show-up" with unwanted pregancies...i was down that road but got lucky and didnt get pregnant, but i was ver very careless ...

I think i may understand your major worry, among amny other things the social problems it may bring to your cousin, right ?

I know what a situation like that did to a friend of mine in junior high, but she didn’t have a supportive family like yours…

Maybe time will make things better, maybe all of you just need to get used to the idea, and later on I hope everyone will have fun watching the baby’s first steps and words….

Peace be with you all,

Let me know if I can help in any way…

I hear you W.W, be brave and trust in God, that is really all we can do.
Life Bless
WrenLittle