~Lost SOUL~

I stand all alone in a world of total disorder and confusion and dread the judgement that will befall me......I lie awake and gather thoughts of my years gone by ....
To whom do I owe the problems I have and problems I have encountered?
Is anyone there to comfort my longing for truth?
did I not say that mankind was lost?
did I not speak with honesty ?
Did I not live for love and goodness?
Did I not say Jesus Christ was my saviour?
I feel lost and abandoned .
What is it, that I seek?
what is this place that I seem to belong?
Is it not heaven as I have so many times before spoken of?
it cannot be !
I feel so alone and so afraid ...to what manner of existence is this?
My body is here,I see it and yet I cannot move.....I long for solace and yet I receive none......

Is it a dream or is it just a fantasy?
Am I awake or am I dead?
What place is this beyond what the eye or the mind cannot comprehend?
It is not the place I had so longed for ?
It is not the place that i had in mind?
What can this be?
Can anyone hear me ?
Does anyone care?
What manner of trick is this?
How long have I been standing here?
Is this the life that I have lived for?
It cannot be!
My life is yet to be judged.........I know so because I feel so empty and void.....
Who is that ,that i see in the distance?
It is not one, but many !
What are you and whom do you seek?
Is it I ,
that you seek?
My soul finally has met it's creator and trembles at the sight thereof.....it speaks nothing but truth and awaits the outcome!
It cannot be!
Did I not make known my many sins?
I must have forgotton about that one!
But silence overtakes my lips and my soul speaks the words for me......Nothing but the truth comes out ........flowing like water down a stream........
To what misfortune has belittled me!
This little one sin that seemed so insignificant is the result of my being here!
When do I find peace and solace ?

A state of dread takes over.
My soul,
lost,
deprived of the existence of it's former self,
searching for the comfort of the body it so long occupied .
Demons and ugly looking beings are approaching ,
finding the one sin that keeps me away from my creator....oh what terrible state i'm in.......if only I was given one more chance,.....
If only I could awake and live my life the way that I so often spoke of.... if only I had never on many occasions accused others of their fault and looked at my own ......If only I could have this first and last choice to live my life,
how grateful would I be.......
The choices I had were many ,
and my words now seem like seeds scattered in the wind ,
Far away and lost without a trace......gone and forgotton ,never to be heard again........
What strange and wonderful creatures approach me?
Is it my guardian angel come to offer my soul consolation?
What radiant beauty and joy do I feel?
Is this what love is?
Love is having to be comforted and having love is hoping to overcome the obstacles that stand in the way of freedom and choice ,
I want that freedom of choice now,
More so now then ever before...........I stand alone in a world of total disorder and confusion
and dread the judgement that will befall me........
I lie awake and gather my thoughts of years gone by.......What matters now is today and what eternity holds for me..........You cannot change the past,
But look toward the future with love,
Hope and Faith........
For what God has given us is greater then we think and our mind cannot comprehend the beauty that lies ahead for all mankind........
If only...........

My husband said it goes round and round.......leads to nothing!
So people if you cannot understand it.....sorry!

Hopefully i'll write something that makes sense next time!
helen

Helen ,
I didnt know you wrote that. It was a great poem

Good for you. I thought it was a copy and paste deal.

Made perfect sense to me. By the way thanks for posting such positive enlightening things. Sometimes
really makes my day!!

Take care!

Mark

MarkosOrrealus...

thank you for your kind words!

helen...

It sounds like your soul yearns to go home!! Great writing. Peace.

Originally posted by groingrinder
It sounds like your soul yearns to go home!! Great writing. Peace.

Hmmmm home???

Thanks!!!
helen.

Sometimes, I open up text file and write things like this that come out of my head.
Never despair, smile, because good creator of the universe is your king. Everything he does to you, nice or bad is for your own good.

What such a wonderful works of writing you have there. I found this by typing in I am a lost soul to see what people have posted about this subject as this is how I feel. I do not know what I am doing here, what I enjoy or like doing in this world. Everyone is always mad at me because I don't like doing the things they like to as I like to stay to myself.

The only thing I like to do is research things like this online hoping I come across an answer some day. I also enjoy sharing my wisdom and knowledge of life with others as well as motivating people and learning and teaching leadership. I yearn for my soul to be wakened and enlightened but I have not yet figured out how to achieve this sanctuary of a blessing that has donned upon my thoughts.

[edit on 5/12/2010 by jca2005]