Living apart V's Living together

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I have been with my husband since Sept. 2002. He's a "mature student" 200 miles away and so far we have only really lived together on the school holidays and we generally see each other every 2 weeks for about 4 days.
The time has come where we will be together, permanently! When we've lived together it hasn't been a bed of roses. I believe (and please disagree with me if you think i am wrong), even though i don't work (i have a 6 year old son from a previous relationship) i'd still appreciate help around the house and my man does not think he should, especially when hes been to work.
He sits in one position, with remote control in hand and doesn't move . He HATES DIY (which only leaves me to do it since i can't afford someone to do it for me).
Since i have lived alone, i really enjoy it and i don't think i could live with him full time, so much so, i am trying to get him to work away somewhere!
I love him dearly, but living in the same house 24/7 i think will destroy us...

Any ideas, i have until the 2nd of June..........

Originally posted by sarahc
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I have been with my husband since Sept. 2002. He's a "mature student" 200 miles away and so far we have only really lived together on the school holidays and we generally see each other every 2 weeks for about 4 days.
The time has come where we will be together, permanently! When we've lived together it hasn't been a bed of roses. I believe (and please disagree with me if you think i am wrong), even though i don't work (i have a 6 year old son from a previous relationship) i'd still appreciate help around the house and my man does not think he should, especially when hes been to work.
He sits in one position, with remote control in hand and doesn't move . He HATES DIY (which only leaves me to do it since i can't afford someone to do it for me).
Since i have lived alone, i really enjoy it and i don't think i could live with him full time, so much so, i am trying to get him to work away somewhere!
I love him dearly, but living in the same house 24/7 i think will destroy us...

Any ideas, i have until the 2nd of June..........

why the second of June? and yeah... I have something to say- u better talk to him saying he doesnt do anything and if hes gonna make yer marriage work then hes gonna have to do somethin besides work the TV remote, if he loves u he will do it- and get used to him and you together, cause u are gonna have to live with eachother. u better go get counseling and see a church or whatever and start praying if yer religious, cause yer marriage seems like its gonna need some work to work, just talk to him and tell him exactly this, what uhave said, and how to make the marriage work and to live with him, get a job and live life. good luck

Try appealing to his "manliness" to get more "manly" chores done, like taking out the garbage, etc. and then slowly increase the number of "manly" tasks.

If he's making enough to allow you not to work, consider yourself damn lucky though. Most modern couples can't do that, so it's justifiable that he expects you to do the majority of the housework especially as a 6 year old is in school during the day.

However, the MAJORITY is different than ALL of the housework. Not to mention, he should pay more attention to YOU than the tv...(I do this but with the computer, hehe...so I try to be better and do more things with my wife). My wife and I usually try and play games together, like Rummy, Scrabble, various boardgames, etc. when bored, or at least talk about the shows during commercials, play with the dogs or the cats, etc. (ever get a cat or dog to go after a laser pointer? Man, that never gets old ) Also, "date nights" where you both get dressed up and go out on the town, are great now and then too...(get a sitter).

Anyhoo, there was an episode of Nanny 911 (cheesy reality show, but the wife loves it), but it had a couple with the same problem. Now, theres a new show where a counselor will try dealing with this couple. I'd recommend trying to find it and get him to watch it...as it may be a subtle way to have him reflect on your relationship... Don't tell him WHY you want him to see it!!!

[edit on 22-4-2005 by Gazrok]