He Had and It Has

It was Tuesday morning and to the mind of Rick Zunkle a good day to have a job , well, any day was a good day to have a job as he had spent so many of them without one. Yet, today it was really good because it was raining hard with enough of a strong wind to blow the heavy drops pattering against the windowpanes of the shop. Yes, it was good to be inside, good, and better for being paid for it.

This job had come to him from a government program designed to find employment for homeless veterans with various skill sets and , fortunately for him, his meshed nicely with the requirements for the job. The company, ‘’Westbrook Metal Recycling’’ specialized in breaking into parts large metal constructs in preparation for further procedures in the metal recycling process.

The project Rick had been on for over two weeks was the destruction of over two hundred used street corner maiboxes. The Westbrook city council had voted to remove them from street corners around the city as they were now dramatically under-utilized and a city drive for ‘’beautification’’ found that those street corners would be of more use being repurposed. So here he was, blow torch in hand burning open old metal boxes one after another after another.

He had established a pattern for himself. First he would burn off the rounded top section and set it aside. He would then burn down one corner of the rectangular box, then the next corner then the next. After the next corner was burnt though he would take the four sides and stack them neatly on a four by four pallet. He would then repeat the same process on a second box, again stacking the four sides on top of the first four sides at which point he would get back to the two rounded tops and burn them apart as well. These pieces were smaller and were placed on top of the two previous piles of metal parts.

He would then take the industrial strapping tool and run a long metal strap though the center of the pallet pulling the two ends of the strap across the top of the pile and cinch down the entire pallet tightly for secure transport. This morning he was nearing completion of his fifth pallet as lunchtime drew near so hurrying to finish his final two tops he noticed a white envelope stuck between the iron frame and the thinner metal siding. He pulled it loose, stuck it in his pocket and then, completing the last pallet of the morning headed off for his lunch.

Sitting alone and opening the first of two baloney sandwiches he had picked up from ‘’Ruth’s Corner Deli’’ on his way to work that morning a crinkling sound from his pocket reminded him of the envelope he had absentmindedly put there. He reached in, grabbed it and looked it over. Sure enough he thought taking his first bite of baloney, it was an old, never delivered piece of mail. He turned it over and looked at the delivery address. Nearly choking on his sandwich he read the address, President Jimmy Carter. 1600 Pennsylvania Washington DC. Looking around the small empty lunchroom, he tore it open and found a yellowing letter inside and began to read.

Dear Sir

I could give you my name but by the time you receive this letter it will not matter. Suffice to say I have been engaged over the last two and a half decades in our governments top secret scientific studies into investigating and developing the ‘’TOE’’ or , as it is officially called the ‘’Theory of Everything’’.

As you may know, the TOE is an attempt to bring together into one complete theory, the theories of quantum physics on a micro scale with the astrophysical theories on the macro scale. While exploring these theories I have also for that last decade studied the major religions of the world and experimented in the fields of parapsychology and studies on human consciousness. I have arrived at what I believe to be, this theory of everything but only now come to realize the gravity of my discoveries.

What I want to relate to you sir, though it is likely already to late, are the opening words I recently found in a book by Douglas Adams titled ‘’Restruant at the End of the Universe.’’ Here is the quote from that book.

“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”



Well sir, for better or worse, I have and it has.

What a crock Zunkle said out loud taking another bite of his PBJ as Ford Prefect opened him another beer and Arthur Dent passed him the bag of chips they were sharing.

a reply to: BingoMcGoof

The detail is amazing! SF

a reply to: BingoMcGoof

Loved it, Bingo! Please write more!

a reply to: BingoMcGoof


That nagging question: We know where and how baloney sandwich Zunkel got the letter, but how and where in everything did PBJ Zunkel get it?

a reply to: FullHeathen


That's the twist Full, it's all in the quote from the Book by Douglas Adams.

What you earlier noted as detail was the set-up for the twist. I wanted to draw as full a context of normality as I could to lull a reader into being in that scene, that context.

The letter was only a delivery mechanism rather than the object the story pointed to. It's one purpose was to deliver a secondary story line of the authors life which in turn delivered the quote from ''Restaurant''.

“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

This first half of the quote is an interesting idea, that in our search for ''truth'', ''Truth'' itself is an evolving and modulating object which will evade our attempts of complete understanding.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”

This second half of the quote suggests in it's implications that should this change in reality be possible, it may have happened already and as reality has changed, all within it will have changed as well and no one will have noticed it because they themselves have changed as well..

So the baloney became PBJ, and the empty lunchroom became populated with two other people he was having lunch with. Those two people by the way were two of the main characters from ''Restaurant at the End of the Universe'' as well as the ''Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy'' suggesting that the ''reality'' Zunkle had originated in had changed to not just any old run of the mill ''reality'' but rather the specific reality of the ''Hitchhikers'' series.

a reply to: nugget1

Thank you nug, glad you liked it. That Adams quote hit me like a four by four across my forehead with it's implications when I read it way back. Every now and then it pops up to me and this time I just grabbed it and used it. Thanks again.

Nicely done Bingo.

a reply to: Moon68

Thanks Moon...

a reply to: BingoMcGoof

Loved it !
Thanks !

a reply to: KnowItAllKnowNothin

Thanks Knowit, i had a fun time putting it together.