My Wife and I dreamed about my dead mother over the last week. And accompanying backstory.

My mom died almost three years ago. And in the last two weeks my wife had dreamed about her twice, I have dreamed about her once. My mother and I had a very hard relationship. I hadn't seen her face to face in almost four years when she died. We spoke on the phone regularly, but we were not close. Three days before she died, she called me late at night, almost didn't pick up the phone. We had a great chat. Laughed a lot. She was very festive and jovial. None of the usual drama.

The night that she died. I had a dream about sitting on a couch at a beautiful lakeside home. My dead uncle was there, her brother, and my grandmother, her mother, was outside in a garden. I was talking to the redhead from Longmire the TV show. My mom was also a tall redhead. She and I were just talking about life and so forth. I went to the kitchen for coffee and my uncle, who was basically a teenage boy, put his finger to my head. The room began to glow gold. I asked him what he was doing. He said, "Fixing you so you don't go crazy." I asked him what that meant. And he explained that I saw things that others don't and understand things others don't and, sometimes, it makes people crazy. So, he was fixing me. Then I woke up.

Late that morning my brother called me and told me mom had died unexpectedly in her sleep. Probably a stroke.

Short story, longer: Last night I dreamed I called her cell and she picked up. I asked her if she knew she was dead. There was a lot of static. A lout of background noise. She said, "Yes. I know." I asked if I was going to die. She said, "No. Not anytime soon." I asked her what heaven was like and she replied. "Wonderful. You'll see someday, but you're not going to be here anytime soon."

I had a bad day yesterday. I had to go to my son's college campus. I ran into one of those street preachers on campus. He was insulting people as they walked by. I got pulled into the debate. And I was my normal sarcastic self until some teen Shiite Christian brat told me my grandparents didn't got to Heaven. I lost it. Told her she was "f'ng moron" and a "dumbass". And I came home from the encounter just depleted.

You see, I've only recently reignited a spiritual side of myself that went dormant after a horrific revelation in our former church involving our minister. I'd basically fallen a sort of agnostic deist mode. Then had to have a very serious surgery. And there was a technical error during surgery. And, again, short story longer, I was dead for awhile. And thing is, I felt this presence of peace and love. This just profound feeling of what I can only describe as God. I was in the dark, but I could feel the presence all around me comforting me.

When I woke up briefly post-operatively, I saw my wife and surgeon at the foot of the bed and they were both gold. Just gold outlines against a black field. Anyway, turns out, my surgery was a success. And my heart kicked over while I was still hypothermic. The surgeon, a family friend, said he'd never seen anything like it. My heart just wanted to beat.

Anyway, it's been a weird last few years. Just thought I'd share.

a reply to: QuixoticNinja

Constantly see and hear...wife and I both....our deceased pet who passed here after 16 yrs.

Walk around w dog...walk into another part of house...dog is already there. Turn around, other ones gone. It's comforting...

It's been said? "If you DREAM of the DEAD...you'll HEAR from the living".

Watch your phone's n mail...

God Bless

a reply to: QuixoticNinja

Very powerful revelation, you have a great recollection of it, make sure you keep the memories because the memories will keep reveling more information that will make sense to you.

I wish I could dream at night...I dream all day. I dream for a living!

My Mom passed back in June. She struggled with alcoholism for as long as I have memories. I too had a hard relationship with her because of it. I came over to visit and apparently she was feeling good that day. 30 minutes later I’m doing chest compressions and watching my mom die. My heart has been broken ever since. So many things I want to say to her. I wish I showed her more love and support with her struggles. I feel so guilty and sad about it.

A few days ago I finally had a short, vivid dream with her in it. Oh man did I hug her so tight, apologizing and telling her how much I love her. She told me everything is ok, and she loves me too. I woke up right after that. I know it’s probably just a dream, but it really did feel like I had an interaction with her.

I have an on/off relationship with cannabis. When I smoke, it kills my dreaming ability, so I was pleasantly surprised to have such a vivid dream with her in it. When I don’t smoke and take melatonin, I’ll consistently have vivid dreams. I’d love to figure out how to lucid dream.

I was a completely functioning heroin addict for 15 to 20 years. Everyone has heard of opium dreams, well they're very real...for nearly 20 years I had the most fantastic dreams, saw the most impossible worlds and indesrcibible settings of giant staircases ascending from the water to the clouds with giant open air mansions perched on the cliff sides, moon bases, space ship/mothership cities where we had all we could ever want to do for a lifetime never leaving the ship, underwater worlds, a frogger world where we had to jump from one floating house or building to another on rivers going in opposite directions, just laws of physics you wouldnt believe, and I always had such deep connections and unconditional love for so many people, school mates, family, cousins, leaders, that when I would realize I was dreaming at the end of a dream that felt years long, I would start bawling as I slowly woke up trying to cling onto the dream and I would decide it was futile and would start grabbing for my last embraces with loved ones since I was just crushed knowing I would never see these people again. I would keep crying for about 60 seconds after waking up and I felt inconsolable until I told myself, "ok, knock it off!" And I finally realized, "I've never seen a single one of those people, not in all my life," and the tears would turn into laughter and shaking my head clear. However, in the dream I knew every one of those people and their names and their stories and I just can't believe how crushed I am when I wake up and I have no knowledge of the faces in my head but I was so desperate to stay with them in the dream.

Anyways, I just can't imagine having that type of relationship...especially not with my mother. When I was young, I would always draw family pictures...us in front of our house, at Disneyland, riding in a car, and I would ALWAYS draw a halo over my mom's head and two wings on her back because I honestly thought my mother must be an angel. In fact, one time I got so mad at her because she shouted and cursed at me, so I was so incredibly angry that I stomped off into my bedroom, I drew a picture of my mother and DIDNT put wings and a halo, I labeled it "Momy win she stops luving me and causing" (is cussing) and I folded it up and slid it under her door with the honest thought, "that will get her back good because I can't think of ANYTHING that could outdo that!" Well, fast forward five minutes and I am pouting and angry in my room and I calm down a little and I suddenly have the thought, "oh gosh, I just went WAY too far with that drawing (I was like 3 or 4, I honestly thought I had just performed the most cruel and hateful task imaginable in drawing her as a regular person)!" I raced to her room and she was just picking up the drawing and I sat there begging her, "give it back and please don't open it and read it, I love you still and I don't want to stop being family!" I reached the point I was frantically kicking and screaming for the drawing back since I thought her seeing it would hurt her too much to ever be able to take it back.

I still have that drawing somewhere in one of my kitchen drawers but I honestly imagined that I had done something so mean I was inches away from no longer being family. I have been raised by the most wonderful parents who are the perfect picture of love, they were each other's firsts, they celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary tomorrow. My sister did the same, she met her boyfriend at 11 and they never dated another soul, and they're pushing 50 themselves and almost 30 years married!! I was always so darned confused by the idea of divorce when I heard about it. I couldn't imagine two people breaking up but my friends would explain it and I was baffled. I even proposed marriage to my mother at 4 or 5 and I talked my sister into proposing to my dad at the same time. In my mind, if I married mommy and she married daddy, we could be a family forever and we would never need to leave each other. So it is just so weird hearing about people who didn't have childhoods from heaven and I almost feel guilty that mine was so good and I had such healthy role models.

I wonder how different a person I would be if I had parents who were divorced, neglectful, addicts, cheating, fosters, all the different types of parents a person could have and I wonder if my personality would be different. I'm not bragging, I don't even know why I wrote all this. It's just what your post made me think of. Plus, my mother and father are both sick and dying now, alzheimers and advanced heart disease, and the thought of a world without them after 40 something years feels so empty, meaningless and pointless. I don't know if that is immaturity or what, but really...as a single guy, who am I to share my life and feelings with if not them? I just become a mindless person paying the bills and postponing death as long as I can stomach it. It's really just so impossible to make friends at this age and my 2 best friends I was certain would be my lifelong friends, died within a few months of each other unexpectedly. I had invested all my time and emotions in them and they were my besties for life...that is til 3 weeks after a leukemia diagnosis and she died, and driving to another city at 5am to surprise his mom at church for mother's day and HE died.

I tell you what, I'm gonna just shut the hell up. Every now and then one of these posts make me think far too much and this one definitely did just that.....I hope nobody wasted his time reading this...maybe I should put that at the beginning....

I too smoke cannabis - have since I turned 30 in 1996
I PURPOSELY like the fact that I rarely dream when I smoke - I used to have HORRIFIC nightmares - it also helps with my gut - my intestines have spasms and I've a LOT of scars from endometriosis and the multiple surgeries I had over the decades to stop it - then a hysterectomy - the cannabis helps a LOT with these two things.
When my father passed, it destroyed my family, and I have not spoken to any of them since 2012. I dreamed of my father, but he never showed his face, he was only a shadow. I heard his voice only telling me everything would be ok. We didn't have a great relationship, so...
I was glad to read I was not the only one who didn't dream when they smoked

a reply to: HatePeach