Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

George Taylor: You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

Have you ever seen a movie that is not bad. Pretty good and enjoyable actually. Good story, told well, with just a single problem. The last 15 seconds entirely nukes the whole movie from orbit.

I mean it makes the whole movie into nonsense. Totally implausible. Not the slightest bit believable.

I am just so disappointed in it now that I have seen it. I rate it the adsolute lowest of any of The Planet of the Apes ever made. Even the cartoon version I remember.

Disgusting.

Ask nicely and I might give the nuclear spoiler in the thread.

a reply to: BeyondKnowledge3

Just finished watching it. The next sequel will be Moon of the Apes, something something something.

The Eagles never get the credit they deserve eh? Just like Lord Of The Rings, and where on Earth do the human women get their makeup in an apocalyptic wasteland?

I knew there had to be a sequel to the sequel to the sequel etc when I was about half way through.

Still, great CGI except for some dodgy fur and something to pass the time on a Sunday evening.

a reply to: nerbot

Apes on the Moon? Don't say that. They will start filming next week.

I like it to the end then boom. Not going to work that way after 300 years.

Finding a 300 year old drug store for the makeup would be easy compared to the ending snafu.

Edit: Not just Private Snafu but General Disaster.

They should have studied the first two PAX movies.

a reply to: BeyondKnowledge3

I watched the first movie…”first reboot movie”.. and it was ok but after watching it I just thought what’s the point?
The only thing the movie improved was the special effects and honestly I prefer the older costumes over the CGI.

I wish Hollywood would go back to creating new stories instead of trying to make money on established franchises.

a reply to: BeyondKnowledge3

So will you pretty please with a cherry on top tell us what has you all relied up? I don't mind. Don't have plans on watching the movie anyway.

originally posted by: randomuser2034
a reply to: BeyondKnowledge3

So will you pretty please with a cherry on top tell us what has you all relied up? I don't mind. Don't have plans on watching the movie anyway.

I plan to watch it, but that's ok. I want to know if they nuke earth lol

Warning spoiler below. This destroys the the whole movie.


It is a quest for a hard drive with satellite access codes. They are supposed to activate a set of dishes at a ground station that are 80 percent rusted away and can't even move to point at the satellites. The satellites have been in orbit for supposedly 300 years. No way the satalites could be operational. And this is for voice communication.

The writers apparently don't know about HF radio.

Feeling a little better now. Just finished The Thing from Another World.

a reply to: BeyondKnowledge3

I legit was just about to watch it, have my curser still on it and everything lol
Just finished watching Civil War.
To be honest I was sorta disappointed in the ending of it, as well.

It reminds me why I just stream everything and won’t be bothered with going to the theatre anymore.
With one exception, Alien Romulus.
I most definitely will be biting the bullet and going to the theatre to watch that one.

I’m glad I decided to check ATS between movies.
ETA
I guess I’m Gonna watch the new ghostbusters instead lol

ETA #2
Never mind, 3 min in and it’s already stupid.

a reply to: BeyondKnowledge3

The original POAs started with a young couple on their honeymoon traveling between the stars in a private spaceyacht when all of a sudden their radar spots something in their path. They slow down to inspect it and it is a bottle floating in the void. they retrieve it and inside is a manuscript.

As they read the manuscript it tells the story of humans early space exploration from thousands of years prior that crashes on an earth like planet only to discover that evolution had favored simians over humans.

As they read the manuscript between sessions of honeymoon bliss they discover that only one human had made if off of the planet of the apes alive with one of the native women to fly home to Earth. They land to be greeted by welcoming citizens who are all apes but manage to fly away again before they are captured. They then write this manuscript and float it on the waters of space as a story that someday might attract any humans who encounter it.

The honeymoon couple laugh and take a shower together, nuzzling their snouts into each others fur .

I read that book several years before the first movie and was happily surprised at the original twist taken by the ending.
I then waited years to watch another but finally, our local drive in theater had an all nighter Planet of the Apes marathon with all five of the original series. We took the kids, made up a huge paper bag of popcorn, filled a cooler with our sodas and climbed into the back of our pickup truck furnished with a love seat for two and a pickup sized mattress for the kids. None of us made it to the last movie as the sun was coming up.. There was no popcorn left to feed the morning seagulls.

originally posted by: BeyondKnowledge3
George Taylor: You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

Have you ever seen a movie that is not bad. Pretty good and enjoyable actually. Good story, told well, with just a single problem. The last 15 seconds entirely nukes the whole movie from orbit.

I mean it makes the whole movie into nonsense. Totally implausible. Not the slightest bit believable.

I am just so disappointed in it now that I have seen it. I rate it the adsolute lowest of any of The Planet of the Apes ever made. Even the cartoon version I remember.

Disgusting.

Ask nicely and I might give the nuclear spoiler in the thread.

Apenado.

Where chimps being used for 'drug testing scientific experiments' are sucked up by a tornado, and they arm themselves with chainsaws and pitchforks as they rain down on the unsuspecting women in bikini's and hicks in flatbed trucks, in a major city.

or...

Apealanche

Where chimps being used for 'drug testing scientific experiments' are being shipped by air in crates when their aircraft crashes into the high Alps and causes avalanches of snow to fall onto modern ski resorts where the chimps use chainsaws and pitchforks to attack the unsuspecting women in bikini's and hicks in flatbed trucks, in the snow.

or the sequel...

Apecano (Apes on a Plane).

Where apes living and bathing in the warm water in the caldera of a volcano after the previous sequel, are part of the lahar/plume formed when the volcano erupts and they use chainsaws and pitchforks to attack the unsuspecting women in bikini's and hicks in flatbed trucks on passenger jets flying in the area.

a reply to: Macenroe82

Well, for Ghostbusters, the stupid and fanticy are part of the fun. That is expected.

originally posted by: chr0naut

originally posted by: BeyondKnowledge3
George Taylor: You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

Have you ever seen a movie that is not bad. Pretty good and enjoyable actually. Good story, told well, with just a single problem. The last 15 seconds entirely nukes the whole movie from orbit.

I mean it makes the whole movie into nonsense. Totally implausible. Not the slightest bit believable.

I am just so disappointed in it now that I have seen it. I rate it the adsolute lowest of any of The Planet of the Apes ever made. Even the cartoon version I remember.

Disgusting.

Ask nicely and I might give the nuclear spoiler in the thread.

Apenado.

Where chimps being used for 'drug testing scientific experiments' are sucked up by a tornado, and they arm themselves with chainsaws and pitchforks as they rain down on the unsuspecting women in bikini's and hicks in flatbed trucks, in a major city.

or...

Apealanche

Where chimps being used for 'drug testing scientific experiments' are being shipped by air in crates when their aircraft crashes into the high Alps and causes avalanches of snow to fall onto modern ski resorts where the chimps use chainsaws and pitchforks to attack the unsuspecting women in bikini's and hicks in flatbed trucks, in the snow.

Let me guess. There was a super rich guy that owned an island where the experiments were ran on the apes. And he wanted to make a real life ape band for his chain of parks. That was why he wanted them more intelligent. To play music.

Are the chainsaws gas or electric? Gotta be enviromently conscious now.

Have we got a sellable script yet?

originally posted by: BeyondKnowledge3

originally posted by: chr0naut

originally posted by: BeyondKnowledge3
George Taylor: You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

Have you ever seen a movie that is not bad. Pretty good and enjoyable actually. Good story, told well, with just a single problem. The last 15 seconds entirely nukes the whole movie from orbit.

I mean it makes the whole movie into nonsense. Totally implausible. Not the slightest bit believable.

I am just so disappointed in it now that I have seen it. I rate it the adsolute lowest of any of The Planet of the Apes ever made. Even the cartoon version I remember.

Disgusting.

Ask nicely and I might give the nuclear spoiler in the thread.

Apenado.

Where chimps being used for 'drug testing scientific experiments' are sucked up by a tornado, and they arm themselves with chainsaws and pitchforks as they rain down on the unsuspecting women in bikini's and hicks in flatbed trucks, in a major city.

or...

Apealanche

Where chimps being used for 'drug testing scientific experiments' are being shipped by air in crates when their aircraft crashes into the high Alps and causes avalanches of snow to fall onto modern ski resorts where the chimps use chainsaws and pitchforks to attack the unsuspecting women in bikini's and hicks in flatbed trucks, in the snow.

Let me guess. There was a super rich guy that owned an island where the experiments were ran on the apes. And he wanted to make a real life ape band for his chain of park. That was why he wanted them more intelligent. To play music.

Have we got a sellable script yet?

I'll do the score... We could reprise the following:

"Springtime for Hitler and Germany,
Winter for Poland and France..."

Except sung by the chicks in bikini's, doing calisthenics, to make it contemporary.

All we gotta do is get someone to back it and we'll make a killing... (especially if it flops - wink, wink).



Also, fusion battery pack chainsaws, (also being developed by the rich guy) for the science and the environment.

Also, also, they were experimenting on pit bull dogs with the heady mix of weaponized rabies and VR goggles, and they get released as well...

This stuff writes itself!