The holidays still suck

I’m doing everything I can to get into the holiday spirit. My husband passed away November 2022. We were married a little over 30 years. I spent over half my life with him. It’s been over a year now, and it’s still brutal. Grief is awful enough. Holidays suffering through grief is just the pits. People are full of joy, but I feel like I’m in a different dimension. I’m listening to Christmas music, have done holiday things like driving around looking at holiday lights, and eating/drinking holiday treats. But I still have grief attacks, and am still getting knocked on my ass with grief. Many who have been through this tell me this is normal. I’m just so sick of it. I’m done. I feel tired and fed up and frustrated.

I’m not the most patient person to begin with. This has just been beyond awful. Being a control freak is terrible when you are grieving. There is absolutely no control when it comes to grief. Grief can kiss my ass.

I’m making plans for the future. I want to get back into traveling. I’m not afraid to travel by myself. I think making plans and setting goals will help me in the long run. It’s just how I roll.

I figured this would be the best place to vent, since I’m pretty anonymous on here.

a reply to: ChiefD

I'm so sorry for your grief, Chief. I wish I could tell you it will get better and you will enjoy the hiloidays agin some day, but I can't.

Making plans for the future and moving forward to make a 'new normal' is the best thing you can do. Your holidays may alys be tainted by a touch of sorrow, but hope they are also filled with a bigger touch of joy.

I will keep you in my thoughts. You are in greater company than you know.

a reply to: ChiefD

Merry Christmas ChiefD!! You just need a little time and understanding. You know who understands me personally at this time of year?

Well...
m.youtube.com...

a reply to: ChiefD

Not sure there's a cure for the panic/grief attacks. I've been having them for several years now and was told by others it's a part of life if the one(s) you're grieving over truly had places in your heart.

I hope you have a warm, peaceful Christmas and an exciting New Year.

Arohanui and tautoko *big love and support* ChiefD. Grieve all you need to, but also give aroha *love* to yourself.

If you plan to travel overseas, visit Aotearoa.

a reply to: ChiefD Much respect and fine wishes for your future Chief.

Kindest thoughts and regards,

Able Seaman Bally

R.A.N.

I am alone with no Family by myself. I look at it like this.
X-mas & TRIX are for kids, let's never take that from them.

originally posted by: ChiefD
I’m doing everything I can to get into the holiday spirit. My husband passed away November 2022. We were married a little over 30 years. I spent over half my life with him. It’s been over a year now, and it’s still brutal. Grief is awful enough. Holidays suffering through grief is just the pits. People are full of joy, but I feel like I’m in a different dimension. I’m listening to Christmas music, have done holiday things like driving around looking at holiday lights, and eating/drinking holiday treats. But I still have grief attacks, and am still getting knocked on my ass with grief. Many who have been through this tell me this is normal. I’m just so sick of it. I’m done. I feel tired and fed up and frustrated.

I’m not the most patient person to begin with. This has just been beyond awful. Being a control freak is terrible when you are grieving. There is absolutely no control when it comes to grief. Grief can kiss my ass.

I’m making plans for the future. I want to get back into traveling. I’m not afraid to travel by myself. I think making plans and setting goals will help me in the long run. It’s just how I roll.

I figured this would be the best place to vent, since I’m pretty anonymous on here.

I believe I remember you mentioning it. I may or may not have expressed my sympathies. If I have not please accept them now.

Without knowing your late husband, I believe he would support your stated goals of getting back into traveling.

I'm just an outsider. So if hate comes my way, so be it.

Hi ChiefD. Thank you for sharing your holiday this year with us.
I'm montybd nice to meet you.

Lose is never easy as the memories provide that instant recall of the moment in time, the sense of warmth and the smell in the air, the sun light in your eyes.

I can see from your pain that you loved and were loved.

May these next few days give you the reflection that you need, the sense of understanding where you are and the strength to be the strong person you are.

I hope tomorrows sun rise gives you the motivation to find your best life.

May you find peace.

love

SPAM

a reply to: ChiefD

Oh I am so sorry for you. I don't know what to say. I really don't.
All I can do is offer you a hug from across the pond and my sincerest sadness for you.

Do you have a dog? A dog or a cat can sponge off a lot of sadness, take the edge off with their goofiness, warmth and lyalty.

All the best. 🤗

a reply to: ChiefD

I know it's tough, ChiefD, fun is fleeting, but pain lingers. I hate it when Christmas cheer is forced down our throats, and the real meaning of this season is secondary to consumerism.

Christmas lives only in your heart and it's no foul if you don't feel it. I try to blinker out the lights and noise for those few days of chaos.

Usually, in the quiet moments I throw back my thoughts to better times. I know it is depressing, but take all the good times with your husbamd and carousel them in your mind... if Christmas spirit then visits you, all the better. If not, your future travels will surely help you catch up in future years; until that time that you will be reunited in a better place.

Wishing you a serene and peaceful Christmas.

I was saving this for another thread, but I think you deserve it here... maybe it brings a little colour into your life and a smile on your face.

Enzo XO

Happy Solstice to you.
Meri Kirihimete, kia ora from Aotearoa
a reply to: CataclysmicRockets

a reply to: ChiefD

My deepest sympathies for the loss of your beloved.

I worry about when the time comes and I find myself in a similar situation. My grief is strange and unpredicatable but runs very deep sometimes.

Please pursue your plans of traveling. Take the back roads and let the beauty of the American Landscape heal your soul.

True love never dies keep your precious memories of him and he'll be with you in spirit always.

Sending massive amounts of hugs and well wishes.

Merry Christmas.