Trapped - Non Writer HS2023

It started out as just another day, when life was good. After that phone call it all turned upside down, things ain't going to be the same after that. It did not all suddenly change, but in time it did change and not for the better as some had hoped.

It was a disaster. People lied, some died, many left with life long conditions. My house eventually burnt down, but was not alone with many others displaced at the time.

In time I managed to build a new house in an area I though was safe, just to find some cracks emerge in the foundation once it was finished. Broke my heart seeing it all collapse again.

The next house I found was a rough place in the bad side of town. At least it was dry with a strong foundation. A lot of people coming and going with their own issues. Lot of disasters around as people struggle in their own ways, I don't know how some live the way the do. I don't really want to know, except for hearing those screams of long lost unresolved trauma echo of more disasters to come.

Building a strong, practical house ain't easy, lot of hard work with some hard lessons.

a reply to: kwaka

oh that is awesome!
Made me think how in dream analysis the house is often representation of your own psyche and the state is in.

The phone call, the 'burnt down' house when disaster struck 'many others'
The 'safe space' built on weak foundations
And then coming to the full circle that your experience makes you the safe space with the 'honest' foundations

It speaks of a whole life journey. I don't know if you had the same image in mind with the house as symbol for your 'personal development'?
If so awesome
If you did it subconsciously even awesomer

a reply to: ButterfliesAndPonies

Thanks for some feedback. It is the first story I have written for this forum and is based on a lot of life experience.

You are right in how I expanded the concept of a house than more than some walls, but a whole community and life style. It was consciously derived. The first house was 9/11. The second house when I woke up to 9/11 and the last house was finding ATS.

a reply to: kwaka

Nicely done, kwaka.

You applied the good short story technique of "arrive late, leave early", leaving the reader to fill in the blanks.

Basing the story on your life experiences will resonate with anyone who reads it; applying it to their own circumstances for want of details that would detract and distract.



ETA: You needed to add The End at the end of the story, but it may be too late to edit it yourself... Moderator intervention required.

Also, please remember to post a link to the story in DTOM's Short Story Announcement post.

a reply to: kwaka

Love your story! Good job

a reply to: Encia22

Thanks for those tips. I have put a link in DTOM Announcement post now. Going to need help with 'the end' part.

a reply to: kwaka

You really whet my appetite with your prose; I would have loved for you to expound upon this them. Good narative writing style, imo.

a reply to: argentus

Thanks Argentus. Has been a very long time since last trying creative writing. Want to try it to help with writing other things. Perhaps creative writing could be a way to get the truth out at times against with the fake news and fake checkers going on? At least putting it in a way that someone wants to read helps. All comments appreciated.

I know I could expand on it. Trying to keep it simple and have a message. Like what Encia said, want to engage the reader with their thought on such situations, keep pushing on against the adversity life provides at times.