Donkey

There was an old farmer who's wife always nagged him. Sun up to Sun down she nagged. The only time he could get any peace was when he was plowing. He was out in the field one day plowing and his wife brought him lunch. He no sooner sat down to eat when she started in.
The old donkey finally had enough and kicked out with both back feet, hit the woman in the head and killed her.

A few days later, they had the funeral and afterwards the Preacher kept seeing people walking up to the man and talking to him. He noticed when it was the women the man would nod his head and when it was a man, the farmer shook his head no.

After everyone went home, he went and asked the farmer about it. The farmer said, "Well, the women were saying how peaceful she looked and what a pretty dress I had picked out to bury her in"

The Preacher said "What about the men?"

"Oh, they were all asking if the donkey was for sale"

a reply to: DAVID64

Classic! I had an uncle that used to tell jokes like this.
He would ask a guy if they were married, if the guy replied that they were single, my uncle would ask "What do you do for aggravation?"

We were at a family gathering, and someone said they had read that women live longer than men.
He replied "That's because they're not married to women."

a reply to: DAVID64

I thought this was going to be that old joke about the guy who made the donkey behind the bar laugh and cry.

Cheers

originally posted by: F2d5thCavv2
a reply to: DAVID64

I thought this was going to be that old joke about the guy who made the donkey behind the bar laugh and cry.

Cheers

Please tell. I don't know that one.

A guy walks into a bar and goes up to the bar to order a beer. He notices a donkey at the bar, looking kind of depressed.
The guy asks the bartender what the issue with the donkey is.
The bartender says, "That donkey comes in every day, orders his drinks throughout the day, but doesn't engage with anyone and sits there looking miserable. Truth be told, it's putting my customers off."
The guy says, "Well maybe I can cheer him up".
The bartender says, "Mate, if you can do that, you have drinks on the house for the day".
So the guy walks up to the donkey and whispers something in his ear.
The donkey smirks, starts to chuckle, and the bursts into hysterical laughter.
The barman is amazed, and sets the stranger up for free drinks for the day.
Weeks later, the man returns, and sees the donkey at the bar, still laughing hysterically. The barman is looking extremely annoyed, and when he sees the man, he calls him over.
"I appreciate what you did," the barman says, "But ever since you whispered in his ear, he hasn't stopped laughing and now it's seriously annoying the customers. If you can get him to stop, you get free drinks for the day".
So the man wanders over to the donkey and whispers in the donkey's ear. The donkey listens intently, and then he and the man head of to the toilets.
A few minutes later, they both emerge, but this time the donkey is crying".
The barman, amazed at this incident, starts offering free drinks to the man.
"Tell me," says the barman, "What did you do to get him laughing all those weeks ago?"
"I told him my penis was bigger than his." says the man.
"And how did you get him to stop laughing?".
"I proved it." said the man.



a reply to: Hecate666