Secret Service orders DNA and fingerprint analysis baggie found in the West Wing Belongs To

The Secret Service has expedited both fingerprinting and DNA testing on the dime bag of coc aine found in the west wing of the White House. The initial aspersions concerning just who might have placed it there were assumed to be that the coke head, Hunter Biden, as the most likely suspect, but other sources thought it could be very possibly that Joe or even Dr. Jill being the guilty party.

The Secret Service recognized the necessity of expedience in determining just who the guilty party was, so they expedited the analysis of the evidence and found that none of the suspected parties had anything to do with placing the substance where it was found.
Upon completion of the investigation, the Secret Service has, in fact, determined the guilt of one person by fingerprint and DNA analysis plastered all over the dime sized bag.

That person is none other than Roger Clinton. The Secret Service has determined that Roger, Bill Clinton's dealer, placed it where it was found, for his brother to retrieve at a later time. It was also determined that Bill was already so high, he forgot where it was and it remained undetected until the day it was eventually found.

Warrants and arrests are pending.

Correction: It is determined that the statute of limitations have expired and therefore, no charges will be filed.

a reply to: LittleJake



Edit - I just saw this is in the joke forum.

I heard the FBI found Donald Trump's fingerprints on it and he is to be arrested later today.

a reply to: visitedbythem

Impeachment proceedings on Monday

Lolol I knowwww right!

He kept a straight face almost all the way through that thing.

a reply to: RazorV66