I don't have to like you to love you

The older I get the less I like most people. I was always a social butterfly growing up. I never knew a stranger and was always intrigued by what was different from me. I still feel this same way, however, as I've gotten older there are less and less people that I truly admire. I've always admired people for their hearts and minds. If the heart and mind was corrupt then I really didn't like the person. I was angry for a very long time and was so damaged that if a dude even looked at me wrong I was ready to throw down and knock someone's teeth out. If you were nice, I was nice. If you were respectful I was respectful. But if you weren't.....I was ready to spill blood (depending on the level of disrespect). I believed in an eye for en eye.
I eventually learned that this was not the way and only added misery to misery.
I started a new path and frame of mind for this. But honestly still don't like most people.
But I am bound to love them. So, how do I love someone that I really don't like?
It's like this, if you, yes you, were to disrespect me on here chances are I won't like you. I will probably let you know it in some way, even if I do it passively. You may hold onto a value or beliefs that are contrary to mine, and may even support something that I find completely fn stupid and total idiocy. Your God may be different from mine and it may be an "enemy" of my beliefs. However....
If you and I were to be "enemies" on here, but you showed up at my door one day hungry, cold, thirsty, or maybe your car broke down in front of my house, and I open the door and see you, "my enemy," standing there and you tell me your hungry, I will feed you. Car broke down, I'll try and help or give you a place to stay while you figure it out. I would put aside our differences and invite you into my home and treat you like family or a best friend. I wouldn't lord it over you that I'm helping you. In fact, I would be humbled because I would know that you were humbled (even if you didn't show it).
If you were my mortal enemy and I saw you getting jumped by 6 dudes I would jump in and take on 3 so you'd only have to deal with 3. I'd take half your butt whippin for you. If you ran out of gas and you needed $20 to get you home, and all I had was $20 to live on, I'd give you the $20 to get to your home.

All politics and opinions aside, I don't have to like you to love you.
Why would I do this? Because it's what I would want from you. Truth is I probably wouldn't like most of you, but I definitely love all of you. I do not wish or hope for those who oppose my beliefs to have bad things happen to them. I don't want people "going to hell." Because how could I love you and relish in that thought? If, say, you were to do a horrible crime, I would want (proper) justice to be served, but I wouldn't get any joy from that. If anything it would break my heart that you messed up bad enough to land yourself in prison. If I am supposed to live by a code of love and yet hate someone because they weren't like me, or held a different belief than me, then I'd be a big fat hypocrite.
You can't love someone and sleep at night thinking they were going to "burn." You can't love someone and see them in need and get joy from the fact that this person you hate is going hungry, or can't pay their lights, or car breaks down and see them in a need like this and think, "karma's a bitc* ain't it." That is not love. That is hate.
So, I may not like you, but I do love you.

This message came to me in a dream and felt compelled to put it here. ATS fam showed me some love the other day when I was ready to quit. That love humbled me and has reignited the fire I have in me to spread some messages.
Thank you ATS fam. One love ✊

a reply to: AOx6179



Well said! I and most of the people in my 'inner circle' *all three of them.... ) (JK) feel pretty much the same way.

I think it's called 'integrity' or 'moral compass', for lack of a better term-something that seems to be disappearing from society.

My favorite T-shirt says "I'm not mean; I'm just too old to pretend I like you", but I would help my worst enemy in their time of need, and defend them from unjust treatment. Nothing in our society today promotes 'love the neighbor; all media seems to be about choosing sides and seeing those not aligned with our thoughts as the enemy, to be beaten into compliance with main stream ideologies.

It's easy to love humanity as a whole, but a little more difficult on a one-to-one basis.

P.S. I'm glad you decided to stick around!

originally posted by: nugget1
a reply to: AOx6179

Well said! I and most of the people in my 'inner circle' *all three of them....

) (JK) feel pretty much the same way.

I think it's called 'integrity' or 'moral compass', for lack of a better term-something that seems to be disappearing from society.

My favorite T-shirt says "I'm not mean; I'm just too old to pretend I like you", but I would help my worst enemy in their time of need, and defend them from unjust treatment. Nothing in our society today promotes 'love the neighbor; all media seems to be about choosing sides and seeing those not aligned with our thoughts as the enemy, to be beaten into compliance with main stream ideologies.

It's easy to love humanity as a whole, but a little more difficult on a one-to-one basis.

P.S. I'm glad you decided to stick around!

I need to get me one of those shirts. Haha

Some people go meet the horizon because of the recognition they demand for the spikes they set to carry.

a reply to: AOx6179

Well how do I nutshell this ?????

Here goes- you don't love us, you are however learning to love yourself albeit finally and thankfully for your sake.

Now that your learning to love yourself you are able to project that on others.

The only way its possible to love someone without liking them is if its a family member........

Have a long hard think about these words.

originally posted by: CthruU
a reply to: AOx6179

Well how do I nutshell this ?????

Here goes- you don't love us, you are however learning to love yourself albeit finally and thankfully for your sake.

Now that your learning to love yourself you are able to project that on others.

The only way its possible to love someone without liking them is if its a family member........

Have a long hard think about these words.

Although I don't fully agree with that, especially line 4, I do still see wisdom and insight in your view of this.

originally posted by: nugget1
a reply to: AOx6179

Well said! I and most of the people in my 'inner circle' *all three of them....

) (JK) feel pretty much the same way.

I think it's called 'integrity' or 'moral compass', for lack of a better term-something that seems to be disappearing from society.

My favorite T-shirt says "I'm not mean; I'm just too old to pretend I like you", but I would help my worst enemy in their time of need, and defend them from unjust treatment. Nothing in our society today promotes 'love the neighbor; all media seems to be about choosing sides and seeing those not aligned with our thoughts as the enemy, to be beaten into compliance with main stream ideologies.

It's easy to love humanity as a whole, but a little more difficult on a one-to-one basis.

P.S. I'm glad you decided to stick around!

Yep Nugget I agree glad AOx6179 is sticking around too.

Over the years Ive bounced around but these last 6 years or so ATS has helped me get away from daily life, in particular, the 2 years we took care of my Dad (RIP) when he had pancreatic cancer. A lot of those days were bleak and depressing and it was like being in 24/7 emergency mode constantly.

Sometimes I got support here for the Cancer stuff, and how to be a good in-home caregiver, lot of advice I learned here we tried on my Dad. With varying degrees of success but it gave us things to try, and things to research kept us busy and engaged completely. In particular the parenteral nutrition we used to help him get his weight back and at least feel normal for a few months. Someone here on ATS mentioned all about it, and another knew the company to get it from, it gave us all hope, and looking back it gave us all one last good Christmas with our Dad.

After he passed the grief and depression were heavy and I really didn't give a spit for a long time. Some talks on here helped but again a nameless ATSer mentioned a podcast above nothing but basically useless trivia, but they had some good humor and interactions etc. I listen to them and fall asleep lots of nights. One night while sleeping they played an exit song from a little nondescript band and it woke me up a little and it helped me get out of my funk.

Since then try and pass along the good advice I received here to others when they ask. Hell, I dig the cryptozoological, history and paranormal, but ATS is great for music, books, and all kinds of info.

Good to have ya here and to hear a different viewpoint,

I'd like to end with a lot of those people who had great ideas and suggestions in one thread, we would find ourselves having heated discussions in another thread LOL. Nothing wrong with that either, it made me realize to try and listen lots more than just posting.

We each carry something of each other inside ourselves.

Some might not like that or want it... but it's always there.

Some reject that presence, some embrace it.

If there is a distinct time for each, the real trick will be being able to live with that.

MM

Glad to see you!

a reply to: Maxmars

We hold the treasures of other people and are to give freely.

Patrice ONeal's perspetive

You would hate me because I am exactly you.

God bless you.


a reply to: AOx6179

a reply to: AOx6179

I learned an important lesson from my three year old neice.

I grew up under the wings of since amazing people. No nonsense folk, that had just a little bit, and was always "happy" to share what they did have.

I emphasized the happy, because you could actually feel the joy of their giving. You always felt the love, and they had a way of making everyone feel instantly like family.

So it should not have come as a surprise when one day, when we were walking together, and elderly man took offense to sharing a sidewalk with us and verbally assaulted us in the nastiest way.

I was ready to give him a piece of my mind, and not in a very lady like way, when my niece spoke up and said, "We have to pray for him Auntie." "He must be so sad."

I stopped dead in my tracks.

I always remember that moment everytime I am ready to respond to ugly with ugly.

I have found that meeting people in love is always a good starting point.

By the way. I like you.

a reply to: AOx6179

“In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him. I think it’s impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves. And then, in that very moment when I love them.... I destroy them.”

'Ender's Game'

one of my favorite Axioms of all time.