Darwin, Let's Go on a Journey

originally posted by: Xtrozero

originally posted by: quintessentone

Are today's kids indulged or given what they need to be successful in this complex stress-filled world?

Self-created stress, or stress never seen before because their childhood has little to none. What is the stress level of when you are 8 and need to get a job to survive? We have pussified our young plain and simple. Participation trophies for breathing as example and then when they don't walk into a 100k job to do nothing after getting a degree in college that does nothing for them in the business world, they end up being stressed out as an over educated barista.

I think a child's childhood should be just that, a childhood. They certainly will learn very quickly in high school and/or college or out in the working world, what the reality is...why rush it?

originally posted by: quintessentone

I think a child's childhood should be just that, a childhood. They certainly will learn very quickly in high school and/or college or out in the working world, what the reality is...why rush it?

Is it really rushing anything? What are we rushing anyways? One thing we do know is that they are far from ready to enter the real world, and that is why they are so stressed. Do you really think today is much more stressful than 40 years ago?

originally posted by: Xtrozero

originally posted by: quintessentone

I think a child's childhood should be just that, a childhood. They certainly will learn very quickly in high school and/or college or out in the working world, what the reality is...why rush it?

Is it really rushing anything? What are we rushing anyways? One thing we do know is that they are far from ready to enter the real world, and that is why they are so stressed. Do you really think today is much more stressful than 40 years ago?

Just a quick search and research says 'yes' children are more stressed and have more mental health today than 40 years ago.

originally posted by: quintessentone

Just a quick search and research says 'yes' children are more stressed and have more mental health today than 40 years ago.

lol OK Google search solves it all, did you live in the 80s? They have more mental health issues because of what I said...they are not ready to deal with the big bad old world. Suck when you been told you are a winner your whole life for basically doing nothing and you find out that you really are not a winner, and that you actually suck. I wonder how many hours of shrink work is needed to fix that. Also, we medicate kids like crazy today, not good.

originally posted by: Xtrozero

originally posted by: quintessentone

Just a quick search and research says 'yes' children are more stressed and have more mental health today than 40 years ago.

lol OK Google search solves it all, did you live in the 80s? They have more mental health issues because of what I said...they are not ready to deal with the big bad old world. Suck when you been told you are a winner your whole life for basically doing nothing and you find out that you really are not a winner, and that you actually suck. I wonder how many hours of shrink work is needed to fix that. Also, we medicate kids like crazy today, not good.

You know back then nobody paid a great attention to mental health issues, in most cases it was swept under the rug. Pull up your boot straps and all that crud. It was only around 20 years ago during a discussion with a co-worker about children and anxiety, she piped up and said 'children don't have mental illness'. I just blankly stared at her, discontinued that conversation and walked away.

Success can be measured in other ways than the ways we've been programmed to accept.

originally posted by: quintessentone

You know back then nobody paid a great attention to mental health issues, in most cases it was swept under the rug. Pull up your boot straps and all that crud. It was only around 20 years ago during a discussion with a co-worker about children and anxiety, she piped up and said 'children don't have mental illness'. I just blankly stared at her, discontinued that conversation and walked away.

Success can be measured in other ways than the ways we've been programmed to accept.

My initial direction was educational psychology, and it is funny how one's life goes than how it started. I would say it is a false statement to suggest "nobody paid a great attention to mental health issues". I think the issue today is we put too much attention on it and claim everyone has mental issues and push it like a drug pusher pushing their wares until people believe they are broken when they are not.

So, let me ask you, with all this super awareness today has it really helped anyone, or has it made everything worst? What is the suicide rate today for teens compared to 30+ years ago. How many teens today are on heavy meds that say things like one side effect can be suicide tendencies...WTF! What are the depression rates today?

What is it that you think makes life so much harder today than 50 years ago. Hell, no internet, computers, GPSes. You had to do everything in your head, and today you just say Siri... You got your ass kicked a hell of a lot more and were bullied at extreme levels compared to anything today. It just amassed me to see my kids grow up in the school environment they had. No real fights, everyone liked each other no shaming kids for being different etc, I was constantly surprised over and over. I had cops in my middle school, and you didn't use the bathroom ever as that was where bad kids were that would basically beat you up for whatever you had.

Young people today have no clue to what life/school was like back then, they just Google it and think they know. Try writing a paper when you need to go to the library and check out 3 books and read all three books to start your paper... You all have zero clue...lol

originally posted by: Xtrozero

originally posted by: quintessentone

You know back then nobody paid a great attention to mental health issues, in most cases it was swept under the rug. Pull up your boot straps and all that crud. It was only around 20 years ago during a discussion with a co-worker about children and anxiety, she piped up and said 'children don't have mental illness'. I just blankly stared at her, discontinued that conversation and walked away.

Success can be measured in other ways than the ways we've been programmed to accept.

My initial direction was educational psychology, and it is funny how one's life goes than how it started. I would say it is a false statement to suggest "nobody paid a great attention to mental health issues". I think the issue today is we put too much attention on it and claim everyone has mental issues and push it like a drug pusher pushing their wares until people believe they are broken when they are not.

So, let me ask you, with all this super awareness today has it really helped anyone, or has it made everything worst? What is the suicide rate today for teens compared to 30+ years ago. How many teens today are on heavy meds that say things like one side effect can be suicide tendencies...WTF! What are the depression rates today?

What is it that you think makes life so much harder today than 50 years ago. Hell, no internet, computers, GPSes. You had to do everything in your head, and today you just say Siri... You got your ass kicked a hell of a lot more and were bullied at extreme levels compared to anything today. It just amassed me to see my kids grow up in the school environment they had. No real fights, everyone liked each other no shaming kids for being different etc, I was constantly surprised over and over. I had cops in my middle school, and you didn't use the bathroom ever as that was where bad kids were that would basically beat you up for whatever you had.

Young people today have no clue to what life/school was like back then, they just Google it and think they know. Try writing a paper when you need to go to the library and check out 3 books and read all three books to start your paper... You all have zero clue...lol

Did you also have to walk four blocks to school? lol

originally posted by: quintessentone

Did you also have to walk four blocks to school? lol

Actually, for first grade it was about a mile walk. I would pick fruit and eat it along the way. Kids were out of sight out of mind in I would disappear on the weekends and somehow end back up home for dinner with my parents never thinking about looking for me unless it was well after dark. Break your arm and then push your bike home a few miles and wait for your parents to come home to take you to the ER. Get a big fishhook in your hand and the only thing you can do is keep pushing it through until it pops out the other side, then take a rusty knife and cut off the barb to pull it back out. That was normal living back then x100 of so many other events...

originally posted by: Xtrozero

originally posted by: quintessentone

Did you also have to walk four blocks to school? lol

Actually, for first grade it was about a mile walk. I would pick fruit and eat it along the way. Kids were out of sight out of mind in I would disappear on the weekends and somehow end back up home for dinner with my parents never thinking about looking for me unless it was well after dark. Break your arm and then push your bike home a few miles and wait for your parents to come home to take you to the ER. Get a big fishhook in your hand and the only thing you can do is keep pushing it through until it pops out the other side, then take a rusty knife and cut off the barb to pull it back out. That was normal living back then x100 of so many other events...

When I was to start kindergarten at age 4 my mother walked me to school only once, through a field of wildflowers to the school and then I was left to my own devices. Loved walking through that wildflower field though. I also was running through a park and cut my foot right to the bone on a broken beer bottle left in the grass, it was a little past when the lights went out on our street, maybe twilight, so I didn't see it. And I had to wait for my parents to get home to take me to the ER. Never mind my parents looking for me when lights went out, they went out shopping or something in the car. lol

As my daughter tell me when I tell her stories like this, they'd (parents) be arrested these days.

a reply to: quintessentone

Different world today... Lots of Darwinism back then that ended up on you mostly in whether you survived or not, but it seems most did and at a better rate than kids today that we protect and nurture in some bubble boy type environment.

So being a boomer having kids late in my life they grew up in a much different environment than other kids with parents 20 years my junior. Nuclear family to start with that was mom and dad actually being mom and dad. When my kids sucked, I told them they sucked, never really held back, but just think how sweet it tasted when dad said they done good. No disrespecting adults and just try once to disrespect your mom, please... I'll support 100% but if their decision was to go down some dark path then have fun, it doesn't mean I need to follow or support. Whatever they wanted to do I supported, but we will see it to the end. Want to play sports? You will for at least that full year, no "I'm tired I want to quite" 3 weeks into it. School work? Monitored daily and even extra from mom in the summer months. So on and so forth.

Kids grew up great. One is an EE and the other is going to be a doctor. No drug issues... The engineer does smoke some pot and has pretty much dropped off from it, so neither do anything much past alcohol in college. Zero medical/mental issue, extremely healthy with an athlete lifestyle for both. Both love the crap out of their parents and would love to live and work near us as they move forward in life. Both can talk about anything with us, anything...

This and so much more is far from so many other kids I see who grew up in a different environment that for many was extreme protection and where the parents acted like buddies and not parents.

a reply to: Xtrozero

I've watched two episodes of a show called "The Parent Test" whereby different parents with different parenting methods are put to different tests and then judged by other parents with similar/different parenting styles. Guess what, during the sex education test most of the children from all parenting styles knew little to nothing about sexual body parts and nothing about sex and there were two 13 year old girls doing the test.

The parents' explanations: if was too awkward or embarrassing to bring up the subject, or they were waiting for the child to ask.

Back in my day we kids had to discuss it among ourselves and get streetwise quickly, especially girls. Thank God I had a female friend who taught me how to protect myself out there because nobody else bothered.

It seems a lot of parenting is still the same for some people because some people don't break those dysfunctional learned cycles.

I also asked my millennial daughter if dating is the same as when it was in my day (with me explaining my experiences) and she said 'yes' with the misogyny still going strong.

originally posted by: quintessentone

It seems a lot of parenting is still the same for some people because some people don't break those dysfunctional learned cycles.

It seems to me that kids today are a hell of a lot more aware in safe sex than when I was their age. Well at least I see it in my kids who actually use rubbers and tend to be in monogamous relationships. They also work not to have kids until they are well past their 20s. Both are Gen Z...

I also asked my millennial daughter if dating is the same as when it was in my day (with me explaining my experiences) and she said 'yes' with the misogyny still going strong.

It also seems the definition of misogyny has also evolved to include a much wider range of so-called misogyny behaviors making women much more sensitive to everything around them. There is also a large increase in Misandry that women feel they can swing openly like a weapon and has been socially acceptable at times at very extreme levels. In the last 8 years I have worked directly for two female VPs and Two female CEOs, so to say misogyny is still going strong is BS.

a reply to: Xtrozero

Well specific to my daughter's recent dating experiences that was her experience, so yes I can conclude that misogyny is still going strong in certain cases. Unless she just had the bad luck of meeting misogynists, who knows? But, we have both lucked out with men that are well balanced in that respect.

It obviously does not apply to all aspects of life or other people's experiences back then and today. I believe you are mixing up sexism with misogyny and they are two very different things. Misandry, sexism and misogyny should all be looked at again under the eye of discriminatory behaviour.

And I suppose I can't judge lack of sexual education from parents based on a TV show, but all the children failed the sex ed test, which surprised me. Does that relate as a small slice of how children are being parented, or the lack of providing children with age appropriate information, that is unclear?