Does anyone say Thank You anymore?

a reply to: JAGStorm

I say "Thank you".

But I'm a Boomer.

And I never learned how to code.

a reply to: JAGStorm

No thank you!

I was once sitting on a fence with my Dad and his friend.

My Dad’s friend had bought a nice new RV.

I thought I was part of the conversation.

So I ask him “Mr. Blank, what did you pay for her”.

My Dad knocked me 10 foot off that fence.

I learned all kinds of manors that very second.

originally posted by: JAGStorm
I think I was born in the wrong time period.
I am definitely more suited for polite society.

Over the last few years I noticed that people rarely say thank you.
I am absolutely aware that you should not do things only to generate a thank you response, however that being said, it sure would be nice.

I’ll give some examples.
A loooong time friend said their child was having a hard time and asked for cards/etc for their birthday.
A lot of us sent gifts etc, and there was no acknowledgment or thank you.
Another friend asked for advice in an area that I’m an expert in. I gave a few hours of my time. The friend took credit for the project with ZERO thanks or acknowledgement of help.
Helped another friend with ONE condition, only one and they broke it. I did not charge for something that is normally very expensive.
I was really disappointed because they understood and agreed to the condition. (To not tell others I did it so I wouldn’t be solicited for free again, which I was)

Now here is where it gets WEIRD.
I find when I myself do say thank you people get weirded out. Maybe because they are so used to not hearing it.
For example.
When a gentleman opens a door for me, quickly say thank you. Some are very taken aback.
When a friend goes out of their way, I acknowledge it and say thank you. It is often met with silence.
If someone gives me a gift no matter how small I say thank you, I was told by one friend that friends don’t say thank you. WHAT? Is that really a thing?

I think we are really slacking at home and in schools in this area.
I noticed this also seemed to collide with the explosion of social media.
I think the rudeness, the brashness of what people are watching is directly affecting our social interactions.

JAGStorm thanks for this thread, LOL.

but it is true but not because they are necessarily rude, they just don't know how to handle positive reinforcement, LOL it's as if they have never heard of it before.

We had a delivery driver drop off a package and it got here very quickly which was great, and I opened up the door and yelled to him thanks a lot and he came back and he apologized he thought I was yelling thanks sarcastically because he semi tossed the box on the porch. I said no it's really appreciated, he had no clue.

here's another perspective perhaps some people have been where they get bombarded with thank yous most said out of habit instead of genuine thought and appreciation. Does that make sense?

a reply to: JAGStorm

I 100% agree and have noticed the same . People acting weirded out when I say 'thank you'
it makes no sense to me , at all. And I always say 'thank you' in stores, restaurants etc. It's how I was raised (like you Gen-X).

But, I've also noticed some people going out of their way to act offended , when in their mind they had the 'right of way' (I walk very fast usually so may cross paths with some). They expected me to wait or so , and let them pass first.
Both are equally annoying

originally posted by: nugget1
a reply to: JAGStorm
Here you go! lol

Like you, I have learned to be very selective of who I gift my quilts to. This one was many years in the making, and I'd rather burn it than gift it to someone who'll treat it like a WM blanket. I labeled it "Never again; What was I thinking?"

I now make easy 'comfort quilts' for those I'm not sure will appreciate the many, many hours that go into a complex quilt.

I have never been able to hand piece or hand quilt( genetic defect) and have always thought of those who do as 'true' quilters. My hat is off to you!

WOW that's absolutely a beautiful work of art!

a reply to: nerbot

I don’t intend to be dismissive, just don’t say sorry.

I often retort with what are you sorry for!

People look at me stupid.

a reply to: JAGStorm

There was another time I was standing on the train, and I heard someone behind me clearing their throat, and couple more times.

Then I looked at them and they squuzed past me.

I said you could have said excuse me, coz how the feck would I know why you were clearing your throat, if you wanted to go past.

I got daggers.

originally posted by: JAGStorm
I think I was born in the wrong time period.
I am definitely more suited for polite society.

Over the last few years I noticed that people rarely say thank you.
I am absolutely aware that you should not do things only to generate a thank you response, however that being said, it sure would be nice.

I’ll give some examples.
A loooong time friend said their child was having a hard time and asked for cards/etc for their birthday.
A lot of us sent gifts etc, and there was no acknowledgment or thank you.
Another friend asked for advice in an area that I’m an expert in. I gave a few hours of my time. The friend took credit for the project with ZERO thanks or acknowledgement of help.
Helped another friend with ONE condition, only one and they broke it. I did not charge for something that is normally very expensive.
I was really disappointed because they understood and agreed to the condition. (To not tell others I did it so I wouldn’t be solicited for free again, which I was)

Now here is where it gets WEIRD.
I find when I myself do say thank you people get weirded out. Maybe because they are so used to not hearing it.
For example.
When a gentleman opens a door for me, quickly say thank you. Some are very taken aback.
When a friend goes out of their way, I acknowledge it and say thank you. It is often met with silence.
If someone gives me a gift no matter how small I say thank you, I was told by one friend that friends don’t say thank you. WHAT? Is that really a thing?

I think we are really slacking at home and in schools in this area.
I noticed this also seemed to collide with the explosion of social media.
I think the rudeness, the brashness of what people are watching is directly affecting our social interactions.

I believe “Thank you” might be my most commonly used phrase. I am in my mid 30s though and was raised with a bit more of a southern upbringing, even though I was born in northern California. My family was mostly raised in Tennessee. Someone holds a door, i say thank you. Some offers me something, i say thank you. When i go to the gas station and ask for a pack of smokes, i say thank you as they ring it up to thank them for getting them off of the shelf for me. When i finish paying i say thank you and have a nice day before i walk away from the register. When I order food at a restaurant i thank them as they bring me each beer and thank them again for their overall service before i leave. I have noticed much of the younger generation, in particular, do not do this. A lot of the older folks are probably accustomed to the general lack of mannerisms these days that it no longer registers as general politeness. Its become the new societal normal, unfortunately. I was raised to always say Please, and Thank you. I will continue that until the day I die, and if I ever have children, I will raise them the same.

I think a lot of it comes from the sense of entitlement many people feel these days. I grew up poor. To this day, i do not own much… but everything that I DO own, i have busted my butt for and have earned it. That shows in much of my everyday life. Because of that, I am very humble, i have an extremely strong work ethic(i go to work to EARN a paycheck, not receive one), and i have very polite mannerisms(mostly, im prior service army, so i do cuss a lot and am quite brash at times lol).

But yeahhh, i think overall it really comes down to all the entitlement people feel they have these days. We say “Thank you” to acknowledge what someone did for us. Too many people feel they are entitled to everything so they no longer feel a need to thank anyone.

Thats my take on it, anyway.

As a Brit. I've not noticed the change in manners here. But with the US being such a big place, Id guess it differs from place to place, surely.

You must live up North, in California, or Washington DC. The rudest people are located there. We feel it is from the over crowded areas, and the bad weather. Maybe it is the high divorce rates too. No one focuses on raising the children correctly in divorced families. Everyone is traumatized. Covid has effected peoples brains as well.
Lack of sitting in church could be a possibility. The rude tv shows and the rude politics on the news.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Let's get back the common sense first, impolite people are literally low on the list of problems with society. Also just get better friends, I hear thank you all the time at work, at home, in the street. Seems like you found yourself surrounded by distracted people or yes some going through so much stress they forgot the words "thank" and "you".

While it seems so small of a thing why would it be so hard, one could say the opposite as well, it's such a small thing why do you care so much. There are thousands if not millions of people the world round saving GD LIVES, and they don't even get to talk to the people they attempt to help or save.

If you're built for the more polite society, you can rest assured the TRUMP era surely destroyed any last vestige of what could be considered politeness in politics. Now people who want to feel political can be extremely rude and feel like one of the club, perhaps even feel like the leader of the club. The club of impolite aceholes that have never worked a day in their lives, talking about the working class like they were once a part of it, pandering while spreading their rude style to the conservative youth.

So if you were built for a polite society sorry to tell you but you're not up to code.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Feminists think men holding doors open for women is sexist. What do you expect when mental illness is rampant.

a reply to: Phatal87

You would like parts of the Lower Mainland.

Most people I've met and seen around behave gracious giving thanks and apologizing if they accidentally bump into someone as they are walking in a crowded location. The commuters on transit regularity thank the drivers for helping to get them safely to their destination.

I can see why some may view parts of the younger generation as feeling entitled, but even if their expectations are a little unrealistic, most of them have good manners. It's hard not to feel warm inside if a you see a lady hold the door for a gentlemen and practising good manners lifts the vibe of an area.

Usually, in more jam packed areas or if someone is having a bad day their manners suffer. When that is the case, these small considerations really help someone to get back on track.

originally posted by: JAGStorm
I think I was born in the wrong time period.
I am definitely more suited for polite society.

Over the last few years I noticed that people rarely say thank you.
I am absolutely aware that you should not do things only to generate a thank you response, however that being said, it sure would be nice.

I’ll give some examples.
A loooong time friend said their child was having a hard time and asked for cards/etc for their birthday.
A lot of us sent gifts etc, and there was no acknowledgment or thank you.
Another friend asked for advice in an area that I’m an expert in. I gave a few hours of my time. The friend took credit for the project with ZERO thanks or acknowledgement of help.
Helped another friend with ONE condition, only one and they broke it. I did not charge for something that is normally very expensive.
I was really disappointed because they understood and agreed to the condition. (To not tell others I did it so I wouldn’t be solicited for free again, which I was)

Now here is where it gets WEIRD.
I find when I myself do say thank you people get weirded out. Maybe because they are so used to not hearing it.
For example.
When a gentleman opens a door for me, quickly say thank you. Some are very taken aback.
When a friend goes out of their way, I acknowledge it and say thank you. It is often met with silence.
If someone gives me a gift no matter how small I say thank you, I was told by one friend that friends don’t say thank you. WHAT? Is that really a thing?

I think we are really slacking at home and in schools in this area.
I noticed this also seemed to collide with the explosion of social media.
I think the rudeness, the brashness of what people are watching is directly affecting our social interactions.

This has been my exact experience. The last time anybody said thank you to me was close to three years ago.

I held the door open for a woman, and she instantly said thank you and I actually smiled and told her wow that's so rare, and thanks and she was caught off guard completely. She admitted people aren't cordial anymore.

Few friends and I have spoken about this. Sometimes when I'm outside doing something basic like watering the yard or just sitting outside and one of the neighbors comes outside or somebody in the neighborhood is walking by, they don't even bother glancing in your direction or say, hi. (wave etc) almost forcing themselves to not look.

I've noticed a lot have gotten shy. Or simply just don't care. It's not like one or two times either, it's like practically 95% of the time. I even see it a lot with my neighbors who have been around for years.

There's 1 only where I can tell he want to glance in my direction and say something but doesn't. You can tell that he's trying to ignore you with a clear line of view, when he does finally do it. It's an awkward hi on both our parts.

The funny part about all of us? Obviously it's not just me, you're dealing with it, and practically everybody I know. A buddy of mine just bought a brand new home in a completely new development so all the owners are fairly new and younger, and he was mentioning to me last week about how his neighbors are weird and he brought those examples you gave, as well as the ones that I had. He made a joke about how we live in the same neighborhood.

Sometimes I feel people say thank you too muxh...

Does anyone say Thank You anymore?

In my experience, no. Used to be you'd be thanked for your patronage at the store. Not anymore.

People don't say please or excuse me either. I think it's disgusting.

Society is not teaching the younger generation manners. I think that says a lot about parenting these days. It leaves much to be desired.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Hmmm, there is a culture (it could be the Japenese) that "Thank you's" between related people should not be done often. Still, your post is talking about strangers. Is this really a sign of disconnection in a very connected (digitally) world?

Wow, that could be very disappointing indeed. However, it is much better for you to do the thing that you know is "right" despite people being weirded out by it, ok? Just what like Team Fearless (a motivational group producer) pointed it out, do it because it defines you and your essence and not them. Have you heard or read such things like "Be kind for you are kind"? Therefore, do the things that you believe is right even if the world around you does not think so.

The world indeed has finally reached its limit. It is no longer human. Soon, it will seek destruction for one another.