What causes some people (like me) to just attract rude people always setting us off?

Some people seem to have this energy that attracts positive forces/situations and everything seems to fall in their lap including relationships while others have to either grind and grind just to make ends meet where things always seem out of reach and disaster after disaster occurs so your stopped short of your goals and attract assholes that further make things more complicated then they need to be. To the point you wonder if there is any decent people left alive.

I've notice if I go too long seeing nothing but rude people some kind of event happens where finally I meet some kind soul that randomly helps me out of a jam but I have to go thru hell in a handbasket and get my knees and pray eventually before help comes others don't have to struggle this way.

Is it me or them? Is there some kind of coyote energy I have that attracts passive agressive situations/people both online and off? In most forums or sites I'd see people politely helping each other but if I needed help on anything I'd get either ignored or looked at funny until I say something wrong and then it seems as if they couldn't wait to bump me off like they were looking for an excuse to 'get rid of me'.

Sorry for rambling but I'm frustrated with life to the point I actually am figuring out why mass shooters do what they do so much. They are frustrated with not getting along with people so feel there is only one way out and furthermore they don't want to go alone. If you get what I mean I think they might have studied Kamazie techniques. If I spelled that right. Not sure what it's called but I think the modern mass shootings are that refined.

They don't care at this point who or what they target maybe it's a place they went to when they were little and feel it's the best spot to be taken out when choosing their target? Perhaps the CIA did have a hand in helping them?

a reply to: SortingHat

Maybe seeking some type of professional help with this would be beneficial for you right now.

First, you need to figure out why you give somebody else the power to set you off?

It's hard as hell I used to go ballistic sometimes, but I learned fairly early it's crazy to get so upset because somebody else says something. Don't give them that power, lol it pisses them off when you take it away from them.

Not saying you let somebody crap all over you, but be above the petty BS. You do know 90% of all of this stuff is just BS, and you certainly got the coping skills to handle the remaining 10%.

a reply to: putnam6

I'm starting to figure that out. I always wonder what I was so mad about later but the way events seem to dangle things has me suspect.

Sounds like you were describing my life not long ago. I might recommend talking to your pastor if you have a church you go to. They may be able to help you find the answers better than so random person on the internet. Just my thoughts. God bless.

a reply to: putnam6

First, you need to figure out why you give somebody else the power to set you off?

Once "set off'" the battle has been lost .

originally posted by: Gothmog
a reply to: putnam6

First, you need to figure out why you give somebody else the power to set you off?

Once "set off'" the battle has been lost .

I'm stealing that!

Say out loud what you want so that the universe hears you. Sounds corny, but it works, to an extent. Keep saying what you want. It will come around, often times when you're not ready, after you forgot you even mentioned it out loud.
Do it.
Now.

There are a lot more rude people these days than there used to be. Most people used to hold their tongue but now there seems to be a lot more of those who strike right away without waiting to evaluate what a person is actually saying.

Society is losing out, it is turning into anarchy. People are being stirred up to become more anti-social. The media and the liberals are causing people to be divided. Too much change too fast only creates anarchy. Patience and slow and steady progression to a better society is necessary to improve things, shoving things down others throats never fixes anything.

I try to avoid rude people, it does not take me long to identify an A-hole. I guess it is now normal to be an A-hole in this society.

LOL, it's easier said than done, it's certainly human nature, though my point remains, don't give them the power period. How many people do you need to be that close with that you can't just dismiss and go on with your day.

I've never had a relationship that I cared about, where I didn't have enough currency built up that I could check out a day or two, and come back later and explain I just need some time.

As for work and the GP, I try to be polite and vague if I have to engage people, but earbuds are a wonderful discussion deterrent.

There will always be affliction in this life.

The answer you are looking for is located in Matthew 11
28Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”…

When you take His yoke, and walk with Him, He takes a major part of the work load. Like a yoke for two ox, and one is extra strong, he takes the load off of the other one.
Dont be like the coyote, standing on the edge of a cliff, Acme dynamite in hand, jumping every time someone meep meeps at you. You will always land in the road, with the cliff on your head, right before the dynamite blows.

Get into the scripture, learn to yoke up, and walk strong, head high, loved for who you are, forgiven of sin, and saved by grace. It will save you a lot of stress, and inject hope and joy back into your life!

I'll say this about the church and religion in general, they are fantastic refuge most times, though I've found the smaller the better, it isn't for everybody or should I say the sales pitch needs to change to attract those in need today.

a reply to: SortingHat

I find that I tend to "reap what I have sown".

Consequently, I always try to "sow" the very best I can, especially where the "fields" are the least "fertile". That means that I try to be my most empathetic and kind when the people I encounter are being their worst selves. I counsel myself that I do not know what their pain and trauma might be, so it is my duty as a fellow human to give them the benefit of the doubt. This costs me nothing more than a bit of ego; and I am secure enough in my self esteem to be able to afford a bit of ego.

I can't answer for you, of course, but this approach seems to work for me.

a reply to: SortingHat

I feel as you do, but it is for different reasons.

I am very alternative and live in a place that is very right wing and attracts right wing tourists too. They are very judgemental. They act with prejudice against me because the media tells them that people who look different and have individuality are liberal and block up roads with their bodies.

I have never even been to a demonstration of any kind. I live a simple natural life, but don't agree with green politics. My posts here will tell you I have some right wing values too. Humans are prejudiced and crazy. All races are prejudiced. It is shared in equal measure and I have experienced it everywhere I have travelled. These people treat me like an enemy because of how I look when I share some of the same values with them. The media has made them behave like that.

Part of the reason I have developed my unique style since my youth and continuing is to break the cycle of prejudice. I do it to challenge everybody. I use my behaviour to challenge too. I am wanting to provide subtle triggers to encourage human perception to be more imaginative and less barbaric/aggressive, obsessed with power over others and a need to dominate.

People almost attack me when I am outside. It has got much worse in recent years. If I lived in London I would not even be noticed as it is full of so much diversity, but here I feel like Jesus being dragged by the crowd to the precipice to be thrown off.

I can be really challenging. Jesus challenged them so much, kowing it would kill Him in the end, to the point where they did actually murder Him in a really horrible way. People here know now not to be too crazy with me as I can really lay it on them if they offend me. I am very polite. I give manners and I expect them. If people deliberately abuse me or try to bully me I give them verbal and behavioural hell (except for violence). All the local shops have lost my business at a time when they really need it because the shop keepers and assistants were prejudiced and showed it. Why would I spend my money with businesses that treat me so badly? Online I am the same. If they offend me even with too many hassling emails and junk I ban them forever. I ban businesse every day almost because they do not treat me with manners and respect. All they want is my money. That is the only interest they have.

Nobody makes it beyond my front door these days. I used to be sociable, but people bring many problems and make your life miserable. I noticed that once the people went away most of my problems disappeared also. It really was them and not me doing it as I suspected. Even in Church they would be mean to me and think me using ganja is against G-D. They have no idea that it has been found on altars to the Most High as one of the sacred herbs, a sweet savour unto the Lord. In Israel loads of people use ganja. I feel sorry for people that they limit their world and imagination so. They really are trapped. You really can have some freedom and life if you will try and assert yourself. You are allowed to be who you are, to say yes and no, in a democracy. Nobody can force you to do anything other than if you have broken the law too badly.

Yeah, people are full of it. I will not accept any kind of domination. Anyone who tries to dominate me will be met with a barage of very imaginative behaviour and words. They will wish they never had bothered. I will bring trouble to their psyches and ruin their day too, much more than they ruin mine. I once nearly starved so I could be free. I decided death was better than having to do stuff against your will every day, in work and relationships.

You see, when I respond I am still turning the other cheek. I just play a few games to encourage consciousness in them that they will not be allowed to abuse me in any way.

All this is because I was abused. I had to learn and develop all these survival skills. I am a bit dangerous to know now. I am not for the faint hearted. Thanks for the lesson, Lord Byron.

a reply to: Bigburgh
I learned that in debate.
"Tee the other person off and you win ."

Imagine this. Because I can’t draw it.

We are all little circles, floating and moving
within a big circle ⭕️ , bumping into one another when we interact. Now draw an outer circle around each little circle. That outer circle is called a boundary.

Now imagine everything inside the inner circle is yours and yours alone. Your feelings, imaginings, dreams, regrets, ideas, memories, judgments, -just all of the concepts of your metaphysical existence, subjective to you, needs to stay inside that inner most circle.

Now in between the inner and outer circle is objective things. Manners and social skills and common walking around sense and communication skills and all that is socially and culturally objective and acceptable (as much as it can be so, and it will vary for each of us, really. Depending on our environment etc)

But once you have understood the difference between these two parts of who you are, you can begin to see the need for the outer circle, the boundary. Or another way to explain it is that you compartmentalize your consciousness. You have one outer layer that acts as an armor, it’s objective and logical and until it’s needs to integrate something needed and useful from the inner circle, it keeps it detached and separated during interactions with the other circles.

You only want to let what’s in the inner circle flow out in a controlled manner. Visualizing the need to compartmentalize a part of yourself should help you to see the differences in people who have learned how to do this, and those who have not. And we all have to learn. If we can’t do it, it doesn’t mean we’re broken. Nothing can break that was not built. You must build your boundary, your outer circle.

Now imagine all these circles floating around. Bumping into each other. Some of them don’t have a fully intact outer circle. Maybe it’s very easily penetrated or just has holes where ones weaknesses are. Or none at all. Those who just walk around in a chaotic manner most of the time. So when those parts of someone bump into another’s outer circle, it bounces off more easily because it hasn’t penetrated the inner circle of subjective being.

When it does pierce that inner circle, the entire interaction BECOMES subjective, simply because it has now connected “energetically” so to speak.

That’s their subjectivity bumping into yours. When that happens without us choosing to let it in, such as when we are perhaps in the process of forming an actual relationship/friendship with another for our own benefit, then when we are reacting , we are probably reacting to what feels like an intrusion.

If we were sitting and having dinner on a “date” with one who made us feel the same as the “stranger in the store who was rude and hateful” then we wouldn’t just stay and take it, we’d close ourselves off and go on our merry way.

That’s why the need for the outer circle. The boundary. Will you still see/experience the rude, inappropriate behavior of others? Yes, but with an outer boundary in tact you see it objectively; rather than subjectively.

So now finally imagine all these little circles within circles floating around, and the ones with weak or no outer circle are getting stuck together, maybe even forming new, enmeshed and distorted”circles”
These are the never ending dramas that play out continuously. People not knowing where they end and objective reality begins. And acting and reacting based on this faulty perception.

So if you can visualize this, I hope you can utilize it somehow.

This is my subjective answer to a very subjective question and experience. I do think it would benefit to attain a professional, objective opinion from someone who interacts with you in physical form as only so much can really be understood and conveyed via the internet or an interaction that’s NOT face to face.

Basically you take control over your own being and a lot of these issues change form and you’ll see they are now only about another, as long as you don’t let it intermingle with you.

Does it suck that a great deal of the world just walks around chaotically intermingling with one another and causing negative, low, sometimes torturous mental states? Yes. And it will continue on forever.

You set yourself apart from it, and begin to see it objectively.

Your inner circle becomes something much more
Unique, special, and worthy of positive interaction with others of your so choosing, once you divide it and take power over who and what you give that part of you too.




I hope it resonates and sorry I get wordy….I’m trying to draw you an image with words. 🤷🏽‍♀️

originally posted by: SortingHat
Sorry for rambling but I'm frustrated with life to the point I actually am figuring out why mass shooters do what they do so much. They are frustrated with not getting along with people so feel there is only one way out and furthermore they don't want to go alone.

Yeah, that's it, kill some random people because you lack social skills. Awesome solution.

a reply to: headcheck

Didn't work out too well for Bärbel Mohr.

a reply to: SortingHat

I think the best thing to do in life is to accept that you'll be alone the rest of your days and that's fine.
I've had to do it too , for various reasons, one is social anxiety.
I'm fine with it mostly , at times it's hard , but once accepted it gets much easier.

And I certainly wouldn't want any a**holes in my life so those are easily dismissed
Animals will love you unconditionally

You seem nice, but there is an old adage:

"If you run into a Jerk in the morning, you ran into a jerk. If you run into jerks all day, you're the jerk."