Damned Gas Station Attendants sn2022 non writer

El's work crew had finished construction on this gas station in record time.

The attendants had all been trained by his very best.

What's this then?

Had it been so long?

He barely spotted the signs in the inky black.

The markers leading to the pumps were all faded.

The few pumps left standing were all in disrepair.

Where were those damn attendants?

El let his flying saucer hover over one of the refueling pyramids for a minute longer.

Finally losing patience he zoomed off.

He better have more luck at the next station.

Damn those insubordinate attendants.

a reply to: Stevenmonet

What an excellent twist Steve. Developed quickly and then ''smack'' in the face'' with the revelation.
It was like opening a familiar old door and finding a whole new world on the other side. If I had a vote, this one should be highly considered by the judges.

a reply to: TerryMcGuire

Thank you, I think I'm done editing it finally too.

a reply to: Stevenmonet

Very nice!

a reply to: Stevenmonet

Yeah, I run into that as well, but that's good I guess. You put it up and read it and always finding things to say better. On yours, the only thing that stuck out to me that might have been better would have been to switch the ''flying saucer'' to something more saucier, or less saucier depending on how one wants to look at it, to like say, ''intergalactic sportster'' or ''trans-dimensional motor home''

a reply to: TerryMcGuire

I almost did that, then decided I liked the idea of El being in a flying saucer just like the old hub cap on a string from old black and white films my mind gets taken to every time I think of a UFO.

I thought of using toth as my characters name but decided El was less on the nose, but familiar enough to click later.

Old El or Elohim as he is formally known. Ha I even thought of having the station be named o-him but couldn't figure it with the word limit and all.

a reply to: Stevenmonet

"Oh Hell. The time dilation device is on the blink again."

Cheers

a reply to: F2d5thCavv2

El should definitely get that checked by the attendants at the next station. I here it's only a few light years down the old galactic highway.

a reply to: Stevenmonet

Very amusing!

I think. El needs to sort out his Human Resources Dept.

I believe one final edit was needed... The END...

a reply to: Encia22

Once I saw I had two words left I thought of adding that too. Figured I'd save the extra two words in case I misscounted. Us gas station attendants aren't very good at counting to 100. At least not without a few mistakes.

a reply to: Stevenmonet2

"The End" is always required at the end of your story in these contest... and in this particular one, it doesn't count towards the 100 words limit.

a reply to: Encia22

Great now it's too late. All I can do is hope for leniency.

Want to say thanks for your story


You need to go in the The Official ATS Short Story Contest Thread and post a link back here to this story to be eligible. This is how were able to keep track and make it easier for the ATS Membership to promptly go to your story After that... your all good to go!


... and Good Luck in the Contest
Johnny