The Message -SN2022-

Cobwebby dust ‘’poofed the air as ‘’t’’ rose from it’s place of rest and struck aged ribbon a resounding thwack imprinting yellowed paper with black ink.
Squeak, then thump as “h’’ groaned into the dried ribbon.

No fingers touched the keys as the rusted “e’’ swung up from it’s cradle and landed upon the ribbon.

The carriage clicked one notch as it slouched back once more to the right before the’’ e’’ would once again imprint upon the paper.

With a quick ‘’nd’’ the ghostly machine finished it’s existential message and rested once again and sighed to itself before dying.


the
end

Thanks for your submission,

Good Luck in the Contest!
Johnny

a reply to: TerryMcGuire

This is my kind of story, Terry. Clever and excellent storytelling!

Also, it brings back fond memories of my old typewriter.

a reply to: Encia22

YES.

Memories of typing class in high school. One of the really worthwhile courses there.

Cheers

a reply to: Encia22

Thank you En. When I read that ''the end'' would not be added to the word count I thought to make it part of the story and get two free words. But then at the end of story I tossed it into ''word count'' and came up with 98 words ending in '' it sighed to itself... WEll, sez I, two more words to use? ''Before dying'' sez I and I sighed to myself, ''perfect''.

a reply to: F2d5thCavv2

I took typing in the summer between middle school and high school and used those skills though the rest of my schooling. Then didn't type for decades. Then, in the mid 90s thirty years later I got my first computer and started with the ''hunt and peck'' method I saw so many using. But then I said to myself, whoa, hold up here big fella, you took typing years ago. Maybe you still have that skill hidden away so I began a two week intensive retraining, bringing up that mind finger connection with no time lapse between the two and ''bingo'' I was back to 60 words a minute.

This may be why so many of my posts here on ATS are so long winded, I just enjoy watching my fingers move of their own accord. It really is a sweet experience.

a reply to: TerryMcGuire

Terry, yeah, the typing teachers of old were prepping us for the future, unaware

Cheers

Brilliant!

a reply to: TerryMcGuire

Magnificent Terry

a reply to: 19Bones79

Thanks Bones. I appreciate your appreciation......

I just re-read this story and find a glaring error.

Near the end of the story, the typewriter cradle clicks down a notch and returns to the home position before the n and d are printed. Therefore the sign off of '' the end'' should have read

the e
nd.

Also in the final sentence, I would like to change '' and sighed'' to '' ''sighing.''

a reply to: TerryMcGuire

I hadn't noticed, Terry. I don't think the actual mechanics are all that important... I loved the basis of the story and my vote would have still stood even if there was a slight continuity error. With such a short editing window, I, too have noticed errors in my own writing that I kick myself over.

a reply to: Encia22

En

I think we both have learn things about composition during this contest. The going back and forth within a story, changing this or subtracting that and so on. For instance, as I mentioned earlier, when I got my final word count and found I still had two more words to spare, room was made for ''before dying''. I was so buzzed that I failed to re-read and only now found that ''the ghostly machine finished it’s existential message and rested once again and sighed to itself before dying ''would be better written ''the ghostly machine finished it's existential message and rested once again, sighing to itself before dying.'' Small point of course but good exercise in composition.

And it's really the aesthetics of it, yeah? My original intent was to have the typewriter type the ''the end'' but then completely screwed the pooch by missing that carriage return. Oh well. But hey, what are you doing back here so long after the closing?

originally posted by: TerryMcGuire
a reply to: Encia22

En

I think we both have learn things about composition during this contest. The going back and forth within a story, changing this or subtracting that and so on.

Yes, the learning curve was steep! For me, it was a moving target; some stories needed expanding, whilst others required major pruning. Only in the latter submissions did I start to write closer to the mark.

In any case, I would have been more than satisfied to have come up with your idea... And honestly, I probably would have overlooked the same minor detail that goes under the radar because the basic idea simply works.

Oh well. But hey, what are you doing back here so long after the closing?

LOL, I don't sleep much and your post popped up at the top of myATS feed.

a reply to: Encia22

I did not think i might have another idea for a short story until today. Some one started a Mandala Effect thread and I put up a little thought in reply that leaned towards a short story while writing it. I would have made a grand short story with twists and all, But alas.

It's been nice getting to know you through this En and hope to see you around.

a reply to: TerryMcGuire

Same here, it's been a pleasure.

Cheers

the end a reply to: TerryMcGuire