Men's Lib!!!!!!!

Before anyone jump's down my throat with this, Im not getting at any men/boys here alright?

My husband was given this as a laugh, and I did find some of them funny as well.


"We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered "1" on purpose"!


1 Learn to work the toilet seat. Your a big girl. If its up, put it down. we need it up, you need it down. you dont hear us bitching about you leaving it down all the time.

1 Birthdays, valentines and anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again, year after year.

1 Sometimes we are not thinking about you, live with it.

1 Saturday = football. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. let it be.

1 Dont cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

1 Shopping is not a sport. And no, we are never going to think it that way.

1 Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1 We dont remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calender, remind us frequently beforehand.

1 Most guys own 3 pairs of shoes - maximum. what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

1 Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question

1 Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. Thats what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1 A HEADACHE THAT LASTS FOR SEVENTEEN MONTH'S IS A PROBLEM. SEE A DOCTOR!!!!!!!!!

1 Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.

1 If you think your fat, you probably are. Dont ask us. we refuse to answer.

1 If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways make you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1 Let us ogle. we are going to look anyway. its genetic

1 You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know the best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the commercials

1 Captain Cook didnt need directions, and nor do we

1 The relationship is never going to be like it was the first 2 months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whinning to your girlfriends

1 All men see in only sixteen colours, like windows default settings. Peach, for example is a fruit, not a colour. Pumkin is also a fruit, not a colour. We have no idea what mauve is?

1 If it itches, it will be scratched. we do that

1 We are not mind readers and never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1 If you ask a question you dont want the answer to, expect an answer you dont want to hear.

1 When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is going to be fine.

1 You do have enough clothe's.

1 You DO have too many shoe's

1 BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

1 Thank you for reading this: Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we don't mind that, it's like camping really, with the fantasy channel on in the background!!!!

PS: I am in shape! Round is a shape!!!!



blackwidow

I found it funny. I don't know why you would think people would jump on you for posting it. It is just humor.

Freddie


Thank you for that, I was just meaning certain people thats all!


blackwidow

I've copied and pasted them to the fridge already.

Thanks Blackwidow 666

Got plenty more if you want them?


blackwidow

Yep that's us... men are like that... at least i am...

Loved it...

Peace,

MrFreeze


Addition:

Bring 'em on blackwidow...

[Edited on 19-7-2003 by MrFreeze]

The funniest things in life are always the real things, and thatwas fantastic!

If I could get my wife to understand that #1, #1, #1, and #1 really relate to me in particular, we'll be a lot better off!

I'd like more blackwidow666. But I'll wait till you are ready to post them. Better if the transition is slow for my partner. I'll start training her now with the above posted rules.

BTW, have you any pertaining to getting up 1/2 an hour before me and cooking my breakfast and getting my lunch ready for work. This would be great.

Maddas

Dont worry I will find something for you!


blackwidow

That's funny blackwidow!

If you know of any women that agree with your list and are willing to follow it, please refer them to me.

Have you ever read the "he said, she heard" list, that one is just as funny.

Proud American

No I dont think I have, what is it?


blackwidow