Question for anybody who haven't gone through a probate after parents death

a reply to: KTemplar

Thanks I appreciate your words.

a reply to: MNnativeamer

Dear...I stopped line 1. PROBATE...the county has to legally determine.

Good luck...go for PROBATE! (Probate attorney!!!!)

Peace, God Bless

PS Sign nothing now.

a reply to: MNnativeamer
Re-read the op.

How many times does the op say "I was an a-hole about it" or "I went off" or whatever?

You actually buy the story about "my son was sweetly and innocently talking about going hunting with his bb gun." ?

Whatever.
Guess there's a sucker born every minute.

a reply to: MNnativeamer

We have gone through a few similar experiences it seems Xmas presents etc and it just dumbfounds me the way family act at times where sorrow should be the only feeling that is experienced collectively .

When I was younger my grandmother re married a nice gentleman from the church she went to at their age it was a company thing , He told me at his father's funeral while he was at the wake his brother has the house he had been left in the will strippped of furniture and the bank account which had enough to buy another 2-3 houses in it ,they never talked again and I looked after him and my grandmother till they died , he had no children and we got on superb the house was mine and through the years I was always throwing him money and. Cars even after gran had died ,I turned up one day with a Mercedes for him and the smile on his face said it all he told me that the day before he had jocked with the people who he run home from the church one day he would get a Mercedes Benz and there it was ,the will was signed and in his possessions but at his funeral guess what happened his brother emptied his place and got the will ,house car and everything because I had nothing in writing with a lawyer I learned a valuable lesson that time .

Ditto with my sister I could destroy her comfortable life with one phone call but at the end of the day I choose not to and be the bigger better man ,she works at a social service place for kids on good pay but last night my mother phoned me and she did take her out for the first time in years and we laughed at her for her stupidity and dumbness at not getting a joke according to her my texts made her cry when I read them back to mother she agreed with my side of events ,I had been civil and only looking out for her financial well-being and health saying she needed to up her game in a text was enough to send her crying etc etc ,drama queen! ,My parents know that I have the care factor of 0 when it comes to material possessions and money ,I refuse to speak to my father and only recently turned down a large boat and his house his side of the family are minted and stuck up with kids doctors lawyers etc according to him I was a failure as a tradesman ,I laughed at him told him that I was probably earning more than they were and walked away never to talk again .

My parents can be difficult especially my mother one day she will laugh at my jokes the next day she will text my sister who phones the police and gets me arrested over a joke ?

So we have tread similar paths ,my advice is sit back and let nature take its course with them and it always does .

Nothing good will become of them if nature has its way and as long as you have a roof over your head and food in your belly and more importantly your health that's all that matters in life to me anyway .

The people that burned my step grandfather and me never lived long to enjoy it ,my sister for her money grabbing ways has a daughter who has come down with gullien Barre syndrome recently ,she is nuts on all kinds of medicine for anxiety etc her long term boyfriend is a mad funkie but holds down a job and she lives in a crap house and has women's problems since the vaccine .

Me I'm cooking on gas.

I learned to keep my distance from them and just use the telephone ,but your thread has stirred up some memories for me about legal issues and family and how crap some can be .

My grandmother had. Sister who married a American gentleman they never had kids and wanted to take me to the states and adopt me when I was 5 ,he was loaded and what they didn't realize was the American government got all the money when they died as he had died last he was a multi millionaire in the 70s when this happened with loads of lumber yards etc .

So I have lost out on a lot of money in my lifetime and gone through a lot as well ,buy I am sitting here with a smile on my face wanting or needing nothing from them or anybody , I can hold my head high especially with family ,I did everything for them and asked nothing in return ,,they are in for a massive shock when I peg it , I blew a lot on art recently rather than have it in the bank and it's all getting donated .

And my sisters idiot boyfriend who sent me a text about crawling under a rock wow is he in for a surprise my relation was the head gamekeeper at that estate he worked at he retired last year ,but the idiot junkie boyfriend never thought who got him the job in the first place ! To get him out of the house and my sisters hair .

All it takes is a phone call sometimes in life ,I have been stewing on other ways but nuu I am going to be the bigger man and just make a call about some salmon and undo what I did years ago .

Then sit back roll a spliff and laugh like a idiot

a reply to: abe froman
There is plenty of other things that my sister has done to me but I did not get into that because I wanted a specific answer to a question I wanted to ask. If you're trying to get to me I'm sorry to say, it's not going to happen. You don't know me but go ahead and keep trying to figure me out if you're that interested.

a reply to: stonerwilliam
Hopefully your sister will keep more in touch with your mom. I'm betting your mom was happy to see her and hang out. I watched my mother go from "No I haven't seen either of them" when I asked the question "Have you seen bro and sis?" back when they moved out on their own. I asked the same question every single time I stopped there. I slowly watched her answer turn into a straight face, then to a frown, until she cried after asking that same question. That was over maybe 5 years or something like that. She got pretty lonely for the other kids. She watched their young kids as a free babysitter for 7 years so not 5. It was after they didn't need her to babysit is when she started to cry after that question. They'd never spend time visiting, they'd never give her a hug, or tell her they love her. My mom needed that kind of thing it hurt her. It made me angry at my siblings so any chance that I had I'd throw it in their face about how they didn't care about the family. I wanted us all to be close so I'd rag on them occasionally. Then they would call my mom and bitch at her for it and I never got mom involved but they would.

But the crying was random over I don't know, however long it took to accept those other 2 didn't care. 2 years ago I would still ask her that question, "Have you talked to bro and sis today?" and she started to laugh and said "F*** NO are you kidding me?" That question become a joke to her. I asked that question and didn't even realize it. But it was sad to watch it all and think about now.

For now I have a roof and all that but my health could be better. I have Grave's disease and most likely have had it since 2009 when I think back about the symptoms that I know now are cuz of Graves. Untreated long term does some damage. Doctors thought I might have it last summer but was not able to see and endocrinologist until Jan 31 where he confirmed it. My thyroid is also under attack by my immune system because of the Graves and that's call hyperthyroidism. My thyroid produces too much thyroid hormone. I have quite a few symptoms from that as well that I've been living with since 2009. Graves I'll have forever and right now I'm trying to get my Graves under control and my thyroid working properly. My levels for Graves were very high according to my endocrinologist. I'll need my thyroid removed if treatment is not working. Then when that's under control I need a valve in my heart because there are only 3 and I should do this before I'm 50. Have to get the other issues taken care of first. Honestly the heart surgery kind of freaks me out.

My siblings know all of this too but they don't really care. Just like I told them in the past several times and just like my mom come to realize. I've gotten into fights a few times sticking up for my brother way back when because that's what you do for family. I also ended up punching 2 of my sisters ex boyfriends a few times a piece because I heard one was abusive and then caught the other one being abusive. They never had to question my loyalty to the family cuz they all knew I'm there if they ever need me. Their brain must operate in a much different way because sticking up for them meant nothing to either one.
Greed is am awful thing.

a reply to: MNnativeamer

We are more alike than you know health wise and the Xmas presents , I came through 6 heart attacks 5 years ago,I had 3 in 5 days so I do not let material things get to me now .

I was just off the phone to my mother minutes ago and always say love you at the end of a conversation ,same with my aunt who just got her leg off today she is like a big sister to me and we get on like a house on fire glad she made it and is doing well .

I read out the text messages that I sent to my sister about upping her game in looking after our mother and doing more for her ,she was shocked at how mild they were compared to what she was told but she willingly admits my sis is not the sharpest tool in the box ,has zero sense of humour and cannot read between the lines in a text ,she refuses to believe I am dyslexic and obviously has never thought about spell check , not that she phones me .

I am the same with family Onam quite protective of them but years ago realized that there is only so much you can do for them if they have the take take take attitude in life .

Deep down my parents know this I want nothing from them and have never asked them for anything in life and my mother knows how well I looked after her mother right to the end and my step grandfather and her I had her property well looked after but my sister gets very jealous and has mum under her thumb ,is ina good paying job as is her boyfriend and they are always subbing of her neither smoke or drink , I dread to think the hundreds of thousands that have frittered through their hands in the last ten years on having the latest thing .

One example is cell phone contracts she has the latest I-phone as does the bf at $ 200 a month each , I bought a second hand Nokia android a few years ago for 50 bucks and pay $ 7 a month for unlimited everything ,my house phone /broadband and the cell contract costs me in total £16.07 a month for me , my sisters broadband and packages are over £140 a month without the cell phones , I know how to cut the cloth accordingly but trying to save mother money on bills starts a war between us .

Families nope get a dog they are more faithfully and honest and less needy in my case