Parent v. School

OK, a bit of a story ...

Anyone who pays attention knows I have a bright kiddo with a couple learning issues: a hearing disorder and dysgraphia (dyslexia handwriting cousin). Those two make school enough of a challenge but he's a solid B/A student regularly.

It is normal for us to have a lagging grade early. Usually it's easy to pin down why, make some adjustments, and he handles it from there.

But this year ... this year ... he's at C- across the board! So we sat him down to find out what on earth is going on. This is the picture we got:

He was placed with a teacher who started the year on maternity leave. His class was originally divided among the other teachers for his grade. Due to COVID, class sizes are down, so this was OK. About two weeks in, the school notified us that a long-term sub had been located, so the class would be brought together. Again, OK.

BUT ... the sub had zero classroom management skills, so for about a month to month and a half, this group of kids got zero instruction while the other classes forged ahead. Son claims he spent most of it reading, and if he doesn't like his classmates, I am inclined to believe it. Reading is an avoidance strategy for him.

So when the school decided this wasn't working, they split a group of kids a month behind the rest back into the other classrooms. At this point, it seems no one thought that maybe a kid already coping with two learning disabilities might need to have some support getting caught up. So when the inevitable happened and he got held back in one subject, a teacher commented that this is what happens when kids misbehave instead of learning.

If that's what was said, it was out of bounds. The school took a kid with two challenges, put him in a bad situation, and blame him when he doesn't overcome?!

Not loving the school today AT ALL.

a reply to: ketsuko

If you could just home school your child. So disgraceful to read about this. However not surprised by this from avoiding any accountability whatsoever as it seems that is status quo these days in public schools.
Educators have to know don't poke mama bear!

a reply to: ketsuko

I feel your pain. My son has dysgraphia and ADHD.

The school has generally been supportive but I am starting to see that certain kids may be better off not being in a public school setting. I sometimes wish I could home school him or afford to just hire a private teacher.

a reply to: ketsuko

a teacher commented that this is what happens when kids misbehave instead of learning.

Let me give you some advice. I've been through just about everything you can think of with my kids/school.
I seriously regretting not standing up for my first one more. You learn as you go along.

With my daughter, I didn't let that happen.
My daughters teacher called me to tell me she was missing an assignment. Little backstory, that teacher was the most hated bully in the whole school, every kid hater her. So back to her calling me. She said that my daughter was missing an assignment and that she was going to get an F if not turned in. Keep in mind, she had not missed the due date and my daugter is and always was a straight A student. I politely told the teacher that my daughter was working on it and that it would be turned in on time. She said my kid was lying.

Enter -----------Crazed Asian Mom Mode-----------

I ripped into this teacher in a way she could have never anticipated. I said how dare she tell me my daughter is lying, as I have actually seen the asignment she is working on. How dare she tell me my daughter is going to get an F when the assignment isn't even due yet. I actually talk to my kids and this teacher just didn't like my daughter. It is possibly because my daughter is extremely gifted and even at high school level was significantly better at the subject than the teacher. This is not just my opinion. My daughter has won awards all over the world for this subject.

I said I understood why she was the most disliked teacher and is she ever messes with my kid again I will not go away. I said other parents might put up with this crap but not me. I said if she didn't enjoy teaching she should retire! This lady started bawling like baby. I mean full out sobbing. She apologized and then tried to tell me how much she helped my kid, which was a big lie. Word got around and all the kids wanted to hear the story. The bully getting bullied. She ended up retiring the next year! My daughter got an A, just like in all her other classes!

Sorry for that long story, but you son IS NOT misbehaving and do not let those words weigh on your heart. You and I both know, it is because of how jacked up the system was for him. Some kids do need more help and they are entitled to it. If the schools can't provide that then a plan needs to happen. Blaming behavorial issues on a child with a learning disability show lack of empathy and probably lack of qualification on the part of the
teacher.

Also wanted to add 99.999% of the time I'm all for teachers, but you have to remember they are human too and some of them are very screwed up and not suitable for teaching!

a reply to: ketsuko

Keep on them!!!!

My son I have been trying to get an IEP for which his doctor requested! The assistant principal gave me an attitude about it. I was not happy. I am so fed up trying to get him help which the IEP will do but they (school) doesn't seem to care! They all love to say how no kid is left behind, well that isn't good imo. So just graduate kids who don't know what they are doing? HOW does that help the student? It doesn't, it only puts them more and more behind.

I hope in the next year or two I can homeschool because I am SICK of the so called education system here.

A similar thing happened to my son, who's 46 now. My son could read and write, do maths when he was 4 years old. Then when he went to his first school and they said (according to their curriculum and method of teaching the other children) that he had to be taught their method. They virtually stagnated his learning development for a couple of years.

I believe that the entire education system is, in essence, failing.

I think that the true problems began with the mass introduction of common core and has only gotten worse since then. Now though, every issue that might have only been somewhat minor in the past, is exacerbated into a major problem.

I would have to expect that some schools are attempting to do something different, though they are probably private schools. Homeschooling has gotten significantly more popular, alongside a pretty big increase in the tools available to make it easier on the parents, but it is not without its issues either.

Like many things now, it seems that the issues run deep.. and understandably, the parents that see the issues are focusing much of their time and energy on fixing the problems specific to their child (or children) while all the other problems continue to run rampant and increase in severity. At this point, many parents seem to be kept busy herding cats while the source of the situation continues to amplify.

Quite a difficult scenario..

Ugh, so ... the guidance councilor was out today. So we have no answers on that front. Today was his first day with his supposed to be teacher all along. She told them they have a blank slate. Kiddo has taken that to mean he doesn't have to worry about his grades because he says she said that.

I am a little more skeptical that the school will wipe the entire 1st quarter like that, but maybe they realize they screwed up royal. At any rate, I still want answers and will seek them.

Now we're dealing with the new teacher in the mix. She may or may not have much idea what went on previously. What a headache!

a reply to: mblahnikluver

My daughter is a school psychologist in Michigan and here if you want a IEP you get one . They fell behind due to Covid and she is now doing them at home . I highly recommend you don't back down and get one, there are child advocates that will help you .