The Homing Slug.

OK, this is a true story.

So a few months back I noticed, there's a slug in our kitchen.

I'm not one to harm anything, and kitty wasn't interested.

I just figured step around it, as you maneuver your supper into the microwave.

Let it be: easy come; easy go, left a snotty trail though.

So then I noticed at 12 o' clock every night that slug is in the kitchen.

Mom took it to the furthest wall, and threw it over.
Two nights later the slug was back.

Last I heard it was chucked out the front door.

Nope, the slug is back.

It's like a gruesome pet by now.
But how can this be?
They don't have advanced brains like mammals?

a reply to: halfoldman

Are you sure it is the same slug?

My fish tank would be happy to have it!

a reply to: halfoldman

I had a similar thing happen a few years ago with a snail.

I was sitting at home all quite like, just reading, and I hear a soft knock at the door.
So I gets up and answers the door, nobody there. Then I hear this tiny voice below me;

"Let us in mister, will ya?" said this tiny little snail.

"What, you kiddin or something" I said

"Go on mister it's cold out" replied the snail

"Pffft, no way man you pricks eat my lettuces" and with that I picked it up and launched it as far as I could across the road.

Nearly 12 months later to the day, I'm sitting at home just reading and again I hear this soft knock on the door.

"No #ing way" I thought to myself. So I get up and answer the door. The first thing I do is look down and sure enough, here's this tiny little snail.

And the snail looked up at me and said, in a high pitched and frustrated tone, "What'd you do that for?

Would you cuddle the Californian "sea hare"?

a reply to: halfoldman

Just use some logic please.

Obviously all you have to do to unseal the mystery is to give the slug a kiss.

If that doesn't work, convince your wife to give it a kiss.

Let us know what it changes into.

C'mon man, kiss that slug right on it's lips. yeah baby!

Lol

P

CIA spy bot.

It will sneak up on you while you sleep and jab you with the vax

Damn! Now I won't be able to sleep tonight, thinking about that slug. And if I do, I'll probably have slug nightmares.

A slug is a snail, that lost the house in the divorce...

Homeless snails... poor slugs...

originally posted by: halfoldman
OK, this is a true story.

So a few months back I noticed, there's a slug in our kitchen.

I'm not one to harm anything, and kitty wasn't interested.

I just figured step around it, as you maneuver your supper into the microwave.

Let it be: easy come; easy go, left a snotty trail though.

So then I noticed at 12 o' clock every night that slug is in the kitchen.

Mom took it to the furthest wall, and threw it over.
Two nights later the slug was back.

Last I heard it was chucked out the front door.

Nope, the slug is back.

It's like a gruesome pet by now.
But how can this be?
They don't have advanced brains like mammals?

Haha.. I've had slugs and snail, they all leave trails, that's how I know they know...

Big as a cigar, slimy and caressing my carpet, not a pet. A foul insidious thing, what else did it bring? I scooped it up and threw it out, the next night I scooped it again... and without doubt, it went..

these things are insipid... care not for your personal space. damn them, and their wiggly feelers on their face...

They also eat your curious weed plants... buggers..

Just for the title alone, I needed this thread

You're a strange egg, Halfoldman...

Loved the tale.

Op. pour out a salt bed,lay it in it,then leave. Oh and put salt around the entrances for a while.

Better a slug than scorpions.
A story for another day
Keep it. It was meant to be .

SALT
SALT
SALT
SALT

a reply to: jerich0

let me help heal,
Your ode to the snail...

Haha.. I've had slugs and snail,
they all leave trails,
that's how I know,
they know...

Big as a cigar, slimy and caressing my carpet,
not-a-pet,
A foul insidious thing,
what else did it bring?
I scooped it up and threw it out,
the next night I scooped it again...
and without doubt,
it went..

these things are insipid... care not for your personal space,
damn them, and their wiggly feelers on their face...

Thats better!

😇

Respectfully,
~meathead

a reply to: halfoldman

Some folks say that we don't really choose our pets : our pets choose us.

So : whatcha gonna call him/her/it/they/them/etc ?

originally posted by: Mike Stivic
a reply to: jerich0

let me help heal,
Your ode to the snail...

Haha.. I've had slugs and snail,
they all leave trails,
that's how I know,
they know...

Big as a cigar, slimy and caressing my carpet,
not-a-pet,
A foul insidious thing,
what else did it bring?
I scooped it up and threw it out,
the next night I scooped it again...
and without doubt,
it went..

these things are insipid... care not for your personal space,
damn them, and their wiggly feelers on their face...

Thats better!

😇

Respectfully,
~meathead

Oi !!!

ok.... it is...

lmao..