Hi ATS,
Last night I awoke having been refreshed by my dreams, feeling totally peaceful, having followed a gentle storyline to the dreams, though I recall
little, part was a pleasant road trip to France with my sons, to stay with relatives.
On waking from two such peaceful & positive sleeps in recent weeks, it has struck me just how terrible my sleep usually is.
In fact, my sleep is usually – almost always – disrupted by sheer nightmares, terrible in their tone, style, content & apparent meanings,
twisting, relentless, devastating & perverse, meaningless or Hellish in the extreme.
This is weird, I have realised. People are not supposed to suffer so abjectly in their nocturnal visions that they wake more stressed & less rested
than they were when they went to bed, and yet this has been my consistent experience over the past fifteen years at least. Even my good dreams are
powerful, potent, full of depth & meaning which is so bombastic that they too, constitute non-restful sleep. They are typically prophetic or
impactfully spiritual in nature. Typically I would now estimate that in every 50 nights, I awaken with having had entirely nightmarish sleep on 35
occasions (several hours' lived experience during my REM time being full of complex, twisting nightmares). Otherwise, I have 14 nights of a
combination with 2 REM hours of potent spiritual/prophetic dreams, plus at least an hour of nightmarish content). And finally, one single night in 50
in which I will have had a restful, peaceful hour or so of REM dreams which is constituted of completely peaceful content (with zero REM hours
nightmarish content or exhilirating, tiring content). Only one night in fifty is of such a beautiful & refreshing nature. I am therefore waking up
with epic-high cortisol most of the time, with adrenaline & dopamine high on most other occasions, and with pure transcendent, restful peace on only
one single occasion amongst all those fifty nights.
It seems indeed to be time to recognise that I am so systematically persecuted in my sleep that I almost never wake refreshed or even moderately
rested.. I usually awaken having had an appalling night, where I wake up more stressed & depressed than I can possibly imagine, in a manner such that
I dread going to sleep, consciously or subconsciously variably, because I am subjected to the manipulation & mirth of demonic forces almost every
single night. The potent spiritual dreams seem to be necessary to balance out the evil messages I'm subject to in the nightmare dreams, such that I
am not overwhelmed by negativity (I do tend to enjoy the potent spiritual dreams, but they are almost equally tiring in comparison with the
nightmarish content. If I did not have the potent spiritual dreams, I think my motivation & mental health would be in the toilet, they do seem to be
fundamentally necessary to counter the evil persecution I so frequently experience.
Would you agree, under these circumstances, that I am being persecuted by black magical/ demonic activity? I have been a Christian for twenty years -
I almost always remember my dreams in vivid epic-real detail, and frequently the potent spiritual dreams are of a legitimate prophetic nature, where
the events or spiritual circumstances come true in accordance with what was witnessed. I have always been told that I am not facing a case of demonic
oppression/possession, I have actively sought to investigate whether I need deliverance ministry, and consistently over the past ten years the answer
has always been a straight up 'no', even under due prayerful consideration. So I have to believe that this experience is serving some sort of godly
purpose, though I'm unaware of what that purpose might be at the current time. A significant consideration is that I'm being trained to be capable
of standing up in the face of potent spiritual Evil, able to resist the influence of the Enemy in all his guile, deception & barbarous, ascerbic
hatred & vitriol, the twisted false logic & false trails, the complex deceptions, aggression & delusions which are foisted upon you when you are
seeking to live in a godly manner, etc.
Does anyone here, who happens to know about these sorts of things, have any sense of intuition, or a word of knowledge concerning what might be going
on please? In the wake of a wonderful, peaceful '1 in 50' dream last night, I'm desperate to find out what I need to do to hopefully fill my
nights with more of those sorts of dreams if at all possible! As noted, I suspect black magic is at work, so any tips would be most gratefully
received.
Best wishes,
FITO.