It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.
Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.
Thank you.
Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.
originally posted by: Bigburgh
a reply to: TheMirrorSelf
DOSAGE: take two tablets every six hours for joint pain.
SIDE EFFECTS: This drug may cause joint pain, nausea, head-ache, or shortness of breath. You may also experience muscle aches, rapid heartbeat, and ringing in the ears. If you feel faint, call your doctor. Do not consume alcohol while taking this pill; likewise, avoid red meat, shellfish, and vegetables. O.K. foods: flounder. Under no circumstances eat yak. Men can expect painful urination while sitting, especially if the penis is caught between the toilet seat and the bowl. Projectile vomiting is common in thirty percent of users-sorry, fifty per cent. If you undergo disorienting nausea accompanied by migraine and raspy breathing, double the dosage. Leg cramps are to be expected; one knee-buckler per day is normal. Bowel movements may become frequent-in fact, every ten minutes. If bowel movements become greater than twelve per hour, consult your doctor, or any doctor, or just anyone who will speak to you.
You may find yourself becoming lost or vague; this would be a good time to write a screenplay. Do not pilot a plane, unless you are among the ten per cent of users who experience "spontaneous test-pilot knowledge." If your hair begins to smell like burning tires, move away from any buildings or populated areas, and apply tincture of iodine to the head until you no longer hear what could be taken for a "countdown." May cause stigmata in Mexicans. If a fungus starts to grow between your eyebrows, call the Guinness Book of World Records. May induce a tendency to compulsively repeat the phrase "no can do." This drug may cause visions of the Virgin Mary to appear in treetops. If this happens, open a souvenir shop.
There may be an overwhelming impulse to shout out during a Catholic Mass, "I'm gonna wop you wid da ugly stick!" You may feel a powerful sense of impending doom; this is because you are about to die. Men may experience impotence, but only during intercourse. Otherwise, a powerful erection will accompany your daily "walking-around time."
Do not take this product if you are uneasy with lockjaw. Do not be near a ringing telephone that works at 900 MHz or you will be very dead, very fast. We are assuming you have had chicken pox. You also may experience a growing dissatisfaction with life along with a deep sense of melancholy - join the club! Do not be concerned if you arouse a few ticks from a Geiger counter. You might want to get a one-month trial subscription to Extreme Fighting. The hook shape of the pill will often cause it to become caught in the larynx. To remove, jam a finger down your throat while a friend holds your nose to prevent the pill from lodging in a nasal passage. Then throw yourself stomach first on the back portion of a chair. The expulsion of air should eject the pill out of the mouth, unless it goes into a sinus cavity, or the brain. WARNING: This drug may shorten your intestines by twenty-one feet. Has been known to cause birth defects in the user retroactively. Passing in front of TV may cause the screen to moiré.
originally posted by: keukendeur
a reply to: TheMirrorSelf
Mirapex can cause compulsive behavior.
In August 2008, a man who claimed that Mirapex caused his gambling addiction won an $8.2 million lawsuit against its makers, Pfizer and Boehringer Ingelheim
originally posted by: AtomicKangaroo
Side effects may include increased thoughts of death and suicide. May increase attempts at suicide. Or something along those lines.
This was an anti-epileptic drug doctors wanted me to try years ago. (Not for epilepsy either, I do not have that.)
Also amazing is how many drugs out there for that have many uses, pain relief etc. that are also commonly used as anti-depressants. Try to relieve some aches and pains, just to find your brain is not the same after a week or two, usually for the worse.
I mean if your brain chemistry is fine, then an anti-depressant will mess you up instead of making you feel better, but many doctors do not tell you these things when they pass you the prescription.
Name Your Favorite Pharmaceutical Side-Effect
originally posted by: SirHardHarry
a reply to: TheMirrorSelf
Name Your Favorite Pharmaceutical Side-Effect
increasedheartrateemphezymachillsbleedingeyesleakyassholeenlargedelbowsinvertedanusesscaledtongues
originally posted by: chris_stibrany
wtf.
they made pringles with a drug in?