need help undersatnding the trans gender mind

a reply to: HODOSKE

It is, but it all got politicized.

a reply to: fiverx313

I believe in true freedom.
If this guy wants to be a cat and wants me to call him a cat I am fine with that.
www.youtube.com...


One of my best friends never told anyone their real name. Had us call him by his nick name vudu.
So what? If that is what a person chooses to be called I have no problem with it.

You don't have to agree with someones opinions to be kind or respectful to them.
If you have no issue with calling someone by their preferred nick name but you have issue with a guy that wants to be called miss. Then your problem isn't with titles. It's something deeper.

originally posted by: scraedtosleep
You don't have to agree with someones opinions to be kind or respectful to them.
If you have no issue with calling someone by their preferred nick name but you have issue with a guy that wants to be called miss. Then your problem isn't with titles. It's something deeper.

very well said

a reply to: HODOSKE

Listen to the words of Simeon and Garfunkle's great reimagining of El Condor Pasa, it's about being himself not someone else.

Trans People are people that for some reason HATE themselves, they want to be something they are NOT, perhaps they reject there own lust and fight it, this can affect children as alien emotions and thought's enter there minds during puberty or it can be a man going through a mid life crisis but either way it is wrong.

Rather they need to get there mind OFF of there own body and themselves and into the real world.

It is NARCISTIC self destructive, NARCISISTIC self denial of the worst kind and it is like a lonely guy that so longs for love but just can not talk to a woman so he instead starts to imagine he is that woman, he wants to be that woman but at it's core all he really wants is to play hide the salami with her and just can't get it because he is disgusted by his own body, guess what he is not Gay just messed up and needs to come to terms with and learn to love himself all of himself.
en.wikipedia.org...
(staring at that inner reflection for too long and wanting it to be the thing you really need, it is the most lonely a soul can become)

We live in a world were MEN don't have any longer any real role in life, he is told daily that he is a Toxic male and society seems hell bent on destroying his masculinity.

Part of it is we are living in an environment that is NOT suitable for us, we come from small group's, tribal migrators and village living people but today we live in HUGE city's were people spend all day trying NOT to mix with the dangerous strangers all around them, not talk to them, not see them as people.

Another part is that the waters, the air and even the radio waves are full, it is not a natural environment any longer, there are compounds in the water that mimic oestrogen, the male brain turns it's testosterone into oestrogen anyway (ever wonder why body builders have smooth silky feminine like skin?).

Your brother is hopefully just going through a phase but my advice is regardless of his choice he is still your brother, don't love him any less or ever reject him.

My advice is also to research the great many FORMER trans men and woman whom blame operations for destroying there lives, the fact that if a person has a sex change operation they are then more than fifteen times more likely to commit suicide after such a change.

And for some people no matter what they do to there body it will never feel like it fit's.

Oh and it's a natural part of growing up, many boy's have wondered what the girls' feel if only out of a morbid perverted interest since they do not then necessarily find men attractive and in fact the thought of brown nosing for most of them is vomit inducing, it's called puberty, every kid is different so this is by no means every boy and a good strong decent male role model help's, a lack of a GOOD male role model is the reason for much of the problem of this kind that afflicts children in single parent or broken family's, a bad father or wife beating scum bag of a father is also no role model for any kid.

To real Gay's, well they are whom and what they are and mostly they love themselves and don't have any such trans gender issues or thought's.


But there are many issues that can cause this problem and it is in the mind, part of fixing it is to get out, to join a club of cyclists and fell walkers (hikers) for example, to get out with mates to the club's and if a boy is introverted he is far more likely to suffer such fantasy's and in time for those fantasy's to form something worse, darker but thankfully they don't all turn into Norman bates.

It's either a phase or it's a mental issue, if he is young he maybe just need's a change of scene, some socializing and to get out and enjoy life so much he forgets about himself and comes to be just him.

In todays world however that is often easier said than done.

I wish him well and will pray for him, may God watch over him and deliver him from this.

On a side note watch this fascinating event though it has little or nothing to do with this, still a whirlwind does not appear in a crowd very often and even more rare harm no one.


As a Christian I believe we have to overcome the flesh, it is alien to our spirit and the only way to do that is to live in the spirit (faith in Christ and the will to try to emulate him as our true and ONLY worthy role model).

Your brother is loved, by you and if you don't or you do believe in him also by Jesus regardless.

In a way your brother is running away from himself.

Not saying I have not had the odd strange thought in my life but I think I would have just been happy to be this guy with Princess Aura in a red cat suit sitting on my knee.


But yes it's just a natural bit of curiosity perhaps gone a bit too far, loneliness can cause this as well and being introverted does not help one bit.

Sorry I had a few pint's earlier.

originally posted by: HODOSKE
a reply to: fiverx313 i did talk to him . A lot. But it is just really hard to understand

Sadly your brother is in the same boat, its a confusing position to be in, and very real, right or wrong..

Hopefully its his idea to transition, rather than simply gay or just a crossdresser who was pressured into the Trans route by inter-community politics.

Just love him/her whatever, words fail us, just give him/her a big hug.

a reply to: HODOSKE

Living in Vancouver...I've certainly met some trans folks. But, I only know of one person who I'd think of as actually having gender dysphoria and truly being the wrong gender.

A girl my girlfriend went to school with ended up becoming a man. From what my girlfriend says though, she'd always been manly in the way she dressed and acted, she ended up becoming a lesbian for years before she finally changed and she'd spent most of her younger life drinking and depressed.

She ended up getting the surgery and everything, transitioning fully to a man, moving to a new place and starting pretty much a brand new life. Doesn't talk about transitioning or anything, never adopted a trans identity, just became a man or whatever and started living like a man and from what I've heard, his life actually improved significantly and he is actually much happier.

I can respect that. But honestly, I think the people like that are an extremely small percentage of the people identifying themselves as 'trans' or whatever.

A large majority of the most vocal people about it seem to use it like an identity or a clique or something. Especially the younger generation. From what I can tell, being LGTBQ++++ whatever, is pretty much the young kids version of being emo or punk rock or whatever. It's somehow become the 'counterculture' for those 'alternative' kids.

originally posted by: scraedtosleep

One of my best friends never told anyone their real name. Had us call him by his nick name vudu.
So what? If that is what a person chooses to be called I have no problem with it.

Not exactly the same though.

It is much easier when that is the only name you ever knew.

It makes it different when you have known someone for many years by one name, and then they suddenly want to be called something else. When you think of them, your mind is probably gonna go to that previous name first, since that is who they've always been to you.

That can happen even if you actually do respect them, and accept their choice to change. It's still not easy to forget the person you've always known.

a reply to: HODOSKE

I'm sure I don't need to tell you to stand by your brother.
Offer him support in any way you are able...but remember your opinion probably matters to him, as well.
Be honest with him about your feelings and don't hold back.

Regardless of what he ultimately decides to do...remember that, genetically and lovingly, he'll still always be your bro...regardless of what he may look like on the outside.

a reply to: HODOSKE

My heart goes out to you. This isn't easy for your brother or you or anyone really. I've seen enough and read enough to know that much. And I'm happy to share what I've learned, but I have to warn you that I'm one of the awful people you've already been warned about. Not because I hate trans people. But because I don't think as simple as it's been portrayed, because there is a very dark and perverted and violent underbelly to the political Transgender Activists, and because the legal rights being demanded directly infringe and impose on women's sex-based rights.

Generally speaking, the so-called Trans umbrella has gotten pretty big. Not all trans identifying people are the same, or have the same motivations or the same purposes. The stereotypical idea of a man identifying as a woman is the homosexual man who has always been considered more feminine than masculine. There are also heterosexual men who identify as women, and remain attracted to women after transitioning. Many, but not all, identify as an Autogynephile, basically a man with a sexual fetish, who is sexually attracted to the idea of himself as a woman. For some, porn plays a big part in adopting a transgender identity, particularly what's called Sissy and/or Hypno porn.

A disproportionate percentage of both males and females who identify as transgender, have a history of abuse and trauma, and often more than one diagnosed mental or emotional disorder. Among teen girls identifying as trans, autism is known to be a common co-factor. I have read theories that all transgender identities may be a symptom of autism. There are still far more questions than answers.

I apologize if this is too much general information. You haven't provided enough specifics for me to do so. But perhaps I've said a couple things that ring a bell for you, and you can research it further.

Your brother feels what he feels, even if he cannot explain it in a way that makes sense to you, or even to him. I don't understand the whole idea of "living as" someone or something that we're not. No matter what we do or how we live, we're still just us. Maybe just think of it that way. Your brother is the same person he's always been, exploring new aspects to himself and living. If he's not hurting anyone, then let him make the most and best of it, and see what he finds out about himself.

My biggest caution would be for him to carefully and thoroughly research any hormonal or surgical options before committing. There are soooooooooo many serious complications and long-term adverse effects. "Transition Regret" is growing. As more and more have transitioned, more and more have inevitably found that it wasn't what they thought or expected or wanted.

I might be able to point you in the right direction for more information particular to your brother's situation and circumstances if you like. Send me a PM if you don't want to be specific on the boards.

In the meantime, just keep loving your brother like always. He's still the same person you've always known and loved. Good luck and brightest blessings to you both!

Medical studies are starting to find variants in gene's that fail to correctly sexualize the brain to the same sex of the body. Which explains why some people feel they trapped in a body of the wrong sex. What they feel is being confirmed.

So its not beyond the realm of possibilities that one day they might find a way to sexulize the brain to that of the body instead of correcting the body to that of mind.

Regardless of all that. Your sister obviously feels alienated in this world so needs someone she can trust. Open your heart to her and provide 100% of your support on any decisions she makes regardless of how that impacts your self.

a reply to: Boadicea

"Transition Regret" is growing. As more and more have transitioned, more and more have inevitably found that it wasn't what they thought or expected or wanted.

That truly is a frightening thought.

I'm sure I couldn't possibly imagine it accurately, but it's still a very scary thought nonetheless.

a reply to: BrokenCircles

Some of their stories are heart wrenching. The "lucky" ones got through it with no long-term adverse effects, and will (hopefully) look at it as a valuable life lesson and experience. But for the ones who have suffered long-term damage, it must be devastating. I can't imagine. But, again, I hope and pray that they can learn and grow from it. They deserve something positive from their experience.

Your brother can never really be a woman. He can only pretend. No matter what he does to his body, including surgery and hormones, it is still the case that he has an X chromosome in every cell. He's fooling himself if he thinks he can turn into a real woman. having said that, there's no reason not to be kind to him, just like you ought to to anyone who is mentally ill. He wants to live in a fantasy world and wants you to go along with it. Whether you wish to indulge him in this is your choice, not his.

gender is complicated, yo

a reply to: schuyler

Ay Bruce did such a good job they gave him an award.

a reply to: HODOSKE
All you really need to understand is that it is undeniably a mental illness, likely originating from spiritual means.

Other than that, don't drive yourself batcrap crazy trying to understand it. Just love him/her/it the best you can.

Imagine how long suffering our Holy Creator is? I fall way short but that's the kind of love I strive for.

originally posted by: Lysergic
a reply to: schuyler

Ay Bruce did such a good job they gave him an award.

They had to compensate him for Wheaties taking him off the box. Now he wants to run for governor.

a reply to: glend I wonder how many trans or gay people would have gene therapy to change their mindset to one considered “normal” ? (Normal as in 90%+ of humanity)

originally posted by: Zrtst
a reply to: glend I wonder how many trans or gay people would have gene therapy to change their mindset to one considered “normal” ? (Normal as in 90%+ of humanity)

well, i wouldn't, for what that's worth.

originally posted by: HODOSKE
i sometimes think that also. Body identity disorder is charictorized as a mental illness. When you want a limb cut off because you think it shouldnt be on your body . Wouldnt cutting a genital or breast off be the same? a reply to: SwissMarked

Sometimes I wonder if it’s an issue of the person being gay, and “changing sexes” will, in their (probably unconscious) mind, make them not gay.

Not in all cases, mind you. But I’m willing to bet it’s not an insignificant number.