a reply to:
AutomateThis1
Definitely relating.
Even though I have held onto some things, I think in general I have always had that ability to move on when it's not super relevant to immediate
survival. Sometimes I get mixed up about what is important/immediate, a little mindfulness helps with that.
I think it's a choice that we make depending on how pertinent it is to our survival. If you owned a ranch and the repeated UFO encounters seemed to
positively correlate with strange and unexplained cattle death, I'm sure it wouldn't be so easy to ignore/move on from. But for me, even then, I
might just sell the ranch, move away, and become something new and forget about the ranch, lol.
Yesterday or the day before somebody mentioned a thing that was said on Midnight Gospel, about how some comedians joke that maybe they wouldn't be
funny anymore if they fixed their anxiety (in episode 2).
And I said that I'm not afraid to lose my identity for a chance at a better life. If I think that losing my self might open up even the slightest
possibility that life could get better, like a life with less anxiety... then f-ck it I'm losing myself all the way.
But I think most people would hold onto their identities; the cattle rancher, the comedian, the artist, what and who would they be if they weren't
those things?
And in a way those identities can get mixed up with survival as well, like how the comedian makes people laugh for a living so being funny is
literally part of their survival. Therefore it's just a survival instinct to hold onto their anxiety if they think it's part of what makes them
funny.
I do think there's something really cold about being able to let go and move on quickly, psychotic almost. It's more alien and less human, it opens
you up to being able to do things that others would not be able to do. You can do a horrible thing and not think about it afterwards. Like Walter in
Breaking Bad, where Jesse was always the more human character.
But there's also the danger of being taken advantage of too- now people can do anything to you knowing you'll just move on... specially if what
they're doing is out of the norm and bizarre and not exactly pertinent to immediate survival, it'll be easier for you to ignore and move on from.
Almost like forgiving an abusive partner over and over again- because you just keep forgiving and forgetting. As long as the bizarre incidents are
not frequent, it won't force you to look at it too deeply and it'll all just slip in-between the cracks unseen and unacknowledged.
Have I said too much?
As for the next meet up, I'm not sure when that will be. I'll def reach out to you when I know more.