Some people-- even you maybe

I wrote this when I was 17.

People can be so idiotic sometimes. They think of others as being insignificant, and they place themselves first. Leaving those that really do need the help behind. It's almost as though they really think that we are nothing. Worthless piles of degrading #.. if I must describe. Well, I got news for you...spending so much time alone, one realizes that this is not what life is all about.
In our days that we are forced to live alone, we think marvelous thoughts that unfortunately no one shall ever hear. Maybe it's that no one really cares to know, or maybe they would attempt to listen. But, it is within our diverse minds that we realize in order to survive we can't fake at life. We have to remain strong. There have been many a times that I have been so alone that I laugh at how absurd this all really is. People need to realize that the world isn't just theirs... it belongs to the whole universe. It's is part of the universe. And we humans have yet to find out what really is out there, so how can we claim what we don't know?

As I am writing this, I'm looking about a class full of oblivious morons (for lack of a better word). I'm not saying that everyone is oblivious, or that they're all stupid... but a good amount of them act like it. They... well pretty much the whole world thinks that success is based on your ability to compute complex mathematical calculations, or on your ability to make it into some fancy college. It's lies..all lies. They are living a life that is paved out for them. And it's not just by people they know..our whole damned society is trying to pave a path out for us. Unfortunately, a good amount of them are to blind to see it. Success is based on your ability to have one person say that they love you and would be lost without you. To help someone smile when they didn't think it was possible. To stop that one friend that's going to commit suicide. To grasp hold of reality as well as imagination.

So as people come in and out of my life everyday, they only grasp hold of certain qualities about me. I may have a smile on my face, but smiles can be deceiving. Take one look into the eyes of a person, and their whole life story could be told. But no one takes the time to do simple things such as that. Emotions explode within my very being. I may be surrounded by tons of faces, but the loneliness is still there. People everywhere breathe music..and arts for that matter. Darkness courses through our veins. Everytime one feels alone, their wrists beg..no plead for a razor's kiss to set one free from this indescribable pain and misery. Remaining strong is essential now. And people say that we're crazy. But we see life for what it really is..and you follow the lies of life.

So as you mock us, thinking you're so much more superior, we laugh and go about our days..considering that's all we can do because no one bothers to actually listen. All that you drones care about is perfection, but that's not what's important here. You try so many things to be at peace with yourself and nature, when that isn't possible. We're so diverse. As hard as I try, nothing matters now. This is destruction of the worst kind. Take a hard look at your life..is it what you really want it to be? Or could you make it so much more?

So as I wander through the dark alleys in my brain. I pause. If out of nowhere, the blood was forced out of my veins, or the air stolen from my lungs, I would look around in disgust..for you have beaten me. Be yourself. Be strong and travel through the journey of your "pointless" life. You're the one letting your life fade away, like a distorted picture. Keep what you know, and never forget it. And as the stars in the sky search for another life to waste... maybe you can be saved. Not once did I tell you life was going to be easy. Life is supposed to be difficult or else we'd be bored. Look past me and destroy me. Laugh when you see the scars both physically and emotionally. I will continue to give and try to help others until the very day I die..despite the gratitude I may or may not get back.

Conformity is a bunch of bull. People yearn to have power and wealth. Open up your eyes and you will see the powers you behold. You have your own wealth. Although it may not be in materialistic things, you have wealth in spirit. Conform to nothing. Be yourself no matter what. Stop being cynical and watch me paint this tainted picture out for you. Come watch me drown in my emotions..those same emotions that you choose to hide. Slowly and painfully, you melt away..as do I.

Maybe we're not so different..for we both bleed the same blood. I'm just as ignorant as you. While you incessantly gawk at me, my wall crumbles. Well, your wall crumbles too. Someday, we will be one in the same, seeing as how we're crumbling now. We are nothing but injudicious, mindless teens to most..but we are sick and tired of life already.

So as I sit in my room, my sanctuary if you will, I worry not about how I may die, or if I won't want it when it comes, because I am pleased with my life thus far. I can stare at death dead in the face, and I will prove to be the strong one. Instead, I worry about going insane before my time comes to a close. Don't bother to care..for perfection will never come. Perfection is not flawless. Come watch us lose our grip and fade. Words lose their meanings. Run out of sympathy now..