One of those days, just need to vent...

Oh gosh, what a day. I just need to blow off a little pressure, I hope you don't mind. Sometimes talking, even online can help.

So, my wife messed up her thumb a few weeks ago. She fell while dusting of all things. Turns out she tore a ligament and needed surgery done.

Today was her surgery. While in the OR my 84 year old mother and 3 sons were outside eating snacks while I was in the waiting room. She does not get around so well any more, but is stubborn. They decided to walk up to a CVS about 2 blocks away. They got in the parking lot and she fell. My youngest came back to tell me. I took off on a run to the CVS, she had blood all over the place. A nurse was right behind me and told me to go back and get a wheel chair.

Long story short, my mom was in the ER as my wife was in the OR. Mom ended up with one broken tooth, one tooth shoved way up in the gums, and a fractured jaw, not to mention extreme bruising to her chin, face and neck.

To top it off we had a go round of words when we got back home. She does not want her doctor to know all the details. She is afraid they will want to put her in a nursing home. We are both stubborn, and let words fly. Finally I think I was able to make her understand I want to do what is best for her. I hope. We go see her doctor tomorrow, and then probably get set up with an ENT and dental surgeon.

It just seems like bad things keep happening, one after another.

Sorry for vent...

a reply to: MrRCflying

Sorry for the rough day, brother. I know the feeling, been a LONG month.

Hope things get better for us all soon enough.

Thank heaven you were there for your mom, and right near the hospital! Sometimes when these strings of unfortunate things happen, it helps to try to find the things that went right. Or, it can be annoying as HELL when someone comes along and says what I just said! I hope it wasn't annoying but of it was, I understand. I am happy that you were right there for everyone, though. It sounds like your entire family is blessed to have you running things! How lucky your wife and boys and mom are. I hope you get to take a little break and time for yourself sometime soon!

Sorry about your day. Some days suck. Maybe this will help. My mother and law was on the verge of a nursing home. We opted for assisted living instead, the change is remarkable. She is doing so much better and is very happy and making friends. Perhaps my story will give you an idea with your mom. Good luck and I hope everything turns out well with the wife.

Thank you all for the kind words of support. I just feel like breaking down crying. I know, men don't cry... but I do sometimes. Dad passed last August, and since then it seems like it all has been a nightmare.

Oh, and to top it off, today was my oldest sons 17th birthday. Not one he will forget, I am sure.

Off to bed now after such a long day. Catch you all tomorrow at some point.

originally posted by: MrRCflying
Thank you all for the kind words of support. I just feel like breaking down crying. I know, men don't cry... but I do sometimes. Dad passed last August, and since then it seems like it all has been a nightmare.

Oh, and to top it off, today was my oldest sons 17th birthday. Not one he will forget, I am sure.

Real men cry.. don’t ever put yourself down for showing emotion after such a rough day.

Sorry to hear about your dad passing and I’m praying your mother has a a quick and thorough recovery as well as your wife.

This too will pass OP. Hang in there.

a reply to: MrRCflying

You're a human with emotions. Crying is washing the insides out and releasing the pain. So let it out, or else it will turn into something else, like chronic pain. Seriously. xox

Wow, that's the best (saying worst ruins the meaning) rant I've read in a while. You are a rock!! You are there for everyone and to me it sounds like you are a very sensitive person. Sensitive is awesome, so don't feel it's a weakness. BUT, sensitive people feel everything tenfold compared to others.

Break it all down into point form:
- your wife is now going to heal
- your Mom will heal, it may take her longer and it may be harder
- thank goodness your kids and the nurse were right there
- it's hard for parents at that age to accept that they are weaker and have to rely on others when they were strong, independent and doing the very things that you are doing now (holding life together and making huge decisions)
- don't be afraid to ask for help, to vent, to find a support group
- treat yourselves tomorrow with a big cake, lots of coffee and focus on the joy that everyone in your life brings to each other - you still have each other. Sometimes when I am super overwhelmed I remind myself that no one died and it really lifts the load and makes the troubles I am enduring so much less.

Al the best. Tonight pack all those troubles into a suitcase and put them in the corner of the kitchen for now, meaning away from your bedroom which is your safe zone. Here's a chicken leg for you: (let's pretend).

You'll make it. We always do.

Your story reminds me of the time we went to visit my husband's folks so they could see their grandson for the first time, and just as we neared the outskirts of the city they live, they called to tell us husband's 90 year old grandmother had fallen and cracked her head and broken her arm, so we spent our entire vacation in the hospital with a baby barely older then 1.

a reply to: MrRCflying

I'm so sorry you lost your Dad and that your Mom and Wife were in the ER.

I hope you get a good nights sleep and feel a bit better in the morning. Here's a hug for ya!

Oh gosh!

And I thought I had a rough day.

Hang in there. They are lucky to have you

originally posted by: MrRCflying
Oh gosh, what a day. I just need to blow off a little pressure, I hope you don't mind. Sometimes talking, even online can help.

So, my wife messed up her thumb a few weeks ago. She fell while dusting of all things. Turns out she tore a ligament and needed surgery done.

Today was her surgery. While in the OR my 84 year old mother and 3 sons were outside eating snacks while I was in the waiting room. She does not get around so well any more, but is stubborn. They decided to walk up to a CVS about 2 blocks away. They got in the parking lot and she fell. My youngest came back to tell me. I took off on a run to the CVS, she had blood all over the place. A nurse was right behind me and told me to go back and get a wheel chair.

Long story short, my mom was in the ER as my wife was in the OR. Mom ended up with one broken tooth, one tooth shoved way up in the gums, and a fractured jaw, not to mention extreme bruising to her chin, face and neck.

To top it off we had a go round of words when we got back home. She does not want her doctor to know all the details. She is afraid they will want to put her in a nursing home. We are both stubborn, and let words fly. Finally I think I was able to make her understand I want to do what is best for her. I hope. We go see her doctor tomorrow, and then probably get set up with an ENT and dental surgeon.

It just seems like bad things keep happening, one after another.

Sorry for vent...

Bad days happen, and venting is very helpful. When you are able to calm down (venting helps with that) please look for what you have to be grateful in these situations, how you can learn from them and be of service to your loved ones.

Life does seem to lay everything on at once though, don't it?

Gosh, that really is a bad day...and a worthy rant!

Sorry to hear about your mom and wife, hopefully they both heal quickly.

I hate to hear about elderly people falling down. It seldom ends well. The last time Dad fell he fractured his hip, and it was basically his undoing. He passed a couple months later after a never ending stream of complications, so I feel for you and wish your Mom the best.

The first time Dad fell, I went to see him. He was all grumpy, and I wanted to cheer him up, so I told him...

"We're a smart society, we can invent all sorts of things. You'd think we could invent some kind of a 'sky hook' system thingy, and screw an eye-bolt into the top of old people's heads so when they stumbled a bungee cord thing would kick in and keep 'em upright (and call you on your cell phone). Then you'd just have to go find Gramps, lower him down, reset the system and they could...trundle on. "

Dad laughed like he hadn't in a long time. He said...You know what? That's a GREAT idea! And, just as soon as you let me down I'd ...KICK YOUR ASS!"

I told him I wouldn't let him down until he cooled off! Oh my gawd did we both laugh at that! I told him he'd be bouncing around on that bungee cord, hootin' and hollerin', until he calmed down...and I'd be just out of reach with the remote! Him being an old Civil Engineer, we must have laughed at that one for a couple hours coming up with different ideas for how it would work.

Anyway, give your mom a hug (and maybe tease her with the 'sky hook' idea even).

Best wishes.

"...It just seems like bad things keep happening, one after another..."

"Sorry for vent..."
No apologizing necesary...Oh lordy! But?

Kinda your fault, sorry. You/she KNEW she was frail..that's how OLDER folks die.

Don't think the street-lot jumped up to her!? Liability? Wouldn't know. Obviously she shouldn't have been out. 2 blocks?

EMT, 1st Responder, Senior Services Transporter
Best, MS...

*PS. God Bless to you 'n all my friend! Don't mean to be harsh to you as well...

a reply to: MrRCflying

PS. With both, you have your hands full. It's not easy...Venting allowed, suggested, appreciated.

MS

a reply to: mysterioustranger

Yep... You are right. If I had known, there was no way I would have let her go. Thing is she is stubborn, refuses to use a walker, does not want help, and says she is going to do what she wants. I figured they were all hanging out on the benches in front of the hospital. I had no idea they were going to go for a walk. If I had, I would have said no, but then got lectured about how I don't run her life. LOL

She is frail, but of sound mind and stubborn as a mule. I am having her stay with us for a week or so, and she is complaining to everyone she can call that I am forcing her to stay there, like it is some sort of prison.