Dear Helen

This isn't a love letter . It is a complaint . A series of complaints in fact .

Both Tre and I , we're annoyed and a bit saddened by your behaviours , to the point where we feel like giving up on you . Em , well I don't think she'll forgive you . We'd all prefer that and to forget but we're not going to forget, we can't . It' been bad enough not to . No matter what you say to try and justify yourself , the way you act just doesn't fit in with normality for anyone , and it's certainly not just us who've observed that .

We feel we can't say anything to you about the stuff you keep doing and saying for fear of being attacked by you . You never say sorry , you don't see the errors you make , but you immediately entrench against anyone who criticizes you . You've got to stop that , you're not perfect . Far from it . But you're making all the kids lives difficult . When it doesn't have to be . We're sick of that happening .

A number of last straws have come out in the last few weeks . For one , you drove your car drunk with Enrique in there , he got in to stop you being as stupid as all hell by driving it , but you'd have taken him with you had you not crashed in the driveway . You nearly trapped me against that wall at the same time . You're a reckless dangerous idiot for doing and your justification was just sickening . You were going to punish your boyfriend using another boyfriend , for non compliance with your neediness , something we're all used to seeing . You're a f big liability for doing that , it won't be forgotten , hasn't been forgotten . Is this starting to sink in yet ?

There have been more last straws for us . The way you behaved at the festival was really sickening , Tre was so angry she wanted to punch you out .
We both agreed we never want to see that look on the kids faces again . Why do you feel the need, you wanted to expose them to you being absolutely off your head on class As ? And again , what on earth was that outright emotional blackmail of them and blaming me because they wanted to leave a aday early about ? Oh yeah , you of course . Forcing your stupid philosophies.

You think you know best but it is plain to everyone that you don't know best , if fact , you know worst . We're sick of it . It's horrible to know that for years you've been like this , and in control of people's lives , and it's had nothing but negative effects on the kids . My life has been pretty # since I met you . Em , she hates you , remember that . I've had to get over it and deal with you without complaint anyway , only in case you get Fuhrer like again and stick your nazi agenda on everyone even more .
Jemma and John left you four years ago , that was your own nine year old kid who easily still recognises your unfitness as a parent . You're a lazy selfish manipulative drugged up slut overall . But you continue to try and con the kids , weaving your little needy web over them . Still telling your stories , still degrading their other parent for them , still inventing your lies and falsifying your histories . I'm just glad they're nearly too old for it to wash anymore, they pretty much know you're a blatant liability , and recognise what a reckless neglectful hateful idiot you can be , as I said . We all know it .


Another last straw for me is you telling my daughter and son not to listen to me . That action has crossed to well inside my boundaries , to the point where something ha s to be done about it . This letter is a start , and your neighbour really wants to go to social services about you , for the kids sake . But no , you think she's a bitch , and carry on disturbing her anyway . Another last straw was your raucous drunken behaviour of shouting late at night outside the house , its bad enough you ignore the neighbours complaints , but when it's your own son who needs to go to school , when you begin to criticise him harshly like that as well while he's listening , having to listen because he wants his window open while in bed , it's just too much . Who do hell do you think you are ? You're a disaster , causing people, and your own kids too, unnecessary woes , and never learning , and never changing .

This letter isn;t for your benefit , it's for theirs . They have to realise clearly that you , are no good example of anyone they should emulate , look up to , beleive in or trust . You're not an adult , it's more like you're autistic , your nasty schemes have been obvious , and it's been devastating that the state religiously gives someone , anyone like you all those custodial powers to abuse . You hide behind being a female , and most people have seen that it's totally disgraceful . You're an anomaly to the female gender , more like an abusive man with your orders and your continual sense of entitlement . All this time you've been entitled to be unfair it's been noted . Because they all pretty much understand by now , it's karma time . You've been the source of so much anxiety heartbreaks and pains , and while the young kids weren't made to properly understand , I couldn;t put that burden on them . But you could burden them , and you did , you still do , still attempt to undermine me and cover up for yourself against me in their eyes .

When you gave Enrique that mandy he was 14 years old . When you were making up lines of cola for his 15 year old friends, bribing them for friendship with you , were you not thinking what the consequences might be ? On e of them , your particular favourite, is still in hospital with psychotic depression . Coming across people like you with attitudes like yours can help bring that sort of thing on. Ask me , I know . Ask the kids , but they just don't want to hear any more of it so it has gone unspoken , unresolved . You can't be tempered , you're just a brazen fool , end of story . You've damaged people , badly too . Other people's children as well as your own . You've left others quietly hoping that you'll do yourself an injury sometime . Nobody want to have to think that way , but this has gone on for too many years now . You're not stopping you're just getting worse .
It's led us to question why you do these things , and we're asking if you're a child molester to be honest . You and your current boyfriend , who has somehow put up with your # for a whole year , who enables it to quite some extent . When a young daughter willingly leaves her mum behind to live with her dad , there must be a proper problem which causes all these symptoms . When she has come back to visit , you've treated her really badly , being unfair, far too expectant for her age , and unforgiving in the extreme . Can't you see when someone , your own child , is sufferring ? When they put their head in their hands and sink to the floor , what are you doing to them ? I've seen you carry on having a go when she is mentally destroyed by you already . It f sickening , and people get shocked how nasty you really are .

Of all the stuff youve done this hardly scatches te surface. theres more last straws to your recent exploits than has been listed already , your abusive behaviours and the plain examples of them . For sake if you read this just change, and for the kids you havent been overlooked by more people than just myself when it comes to your safeguarding . I've one what I can alone in the past but theres a we to the situation now , because several of us have concerns . What you need is a long break from her

a reply to: FieldMarshalMatt

Wow, I don't know who this person is to you (ex wife?) but damn what a train wreck of a human. I'd feel sorry for them, but the impact they've had on others - children in particular - makes it near impossible to find a seed of sympathy. Those in her sphere of influence I send loving waves of encouragement and strength to. And to her... well I do pray for a wake-up call in whatever form that can possibly materialize.

Good rant, FieldMarshalMatt. At the very least you must feel a modicum of relief to air that out, to put it to words, and get it off your chest so those of us who read it an share your outrage can help you shoulder the weight of knowing it.

Now breathe. Now hug the offspring effected. You can't fix crazy, but you can tip the scales towards normalcy and decency and unconditional love to those effected by her. As a former elementary school guidance counselor I learned time & again, that every kid (of any age) who has at least one person in their life that truly loves them and puts their emotional needs above their own, has a fighting chance at a happy life. Just one person they can collapse into and trust with complete abandon.

a reply to: FieldMarshalMatt

Extremely well written and thanks for sharing this mess of a life. It's probably a silly thought, but if she should ever be "sober" enough for 5 minutes or longer, you should let her read this post. Sometimes pushing reality into someone's face can help but unfortunately not always.

I always feel for the kids. Thanks for being there.

a reply to: FieldMarshalMatt

Why is Helen drinking?
What is Helen supressing?
Why can't Helen forgive whatever it is that is making her drink to excess and act out?
Why does Helen feel she needs bribes for friendships.

Helen is clearly venting in suffering over something.

Your publication of this is dangerous to Helens well being if she reads this - ie suicide.

You say " you feel like giving up" but you haven't why?

If you can find the answers to the first three of my questions you may very well Save Helen.

a reply to: CthruU

Lemme fix that for ya...

Why is Helen drinking while in charge of children?
What is Helen suppressing while in charge of children?
Why can't Helen forgive whatever it is that is making her drink to excess and act out while in charge of children?

You're welcome.

Lines of cola for 15 year olds? You've waited to long and now some of it is on you. I'll call social services for you if you want. This letter won't change sh#t except to make you feel better. It's time to do the right thing for the kids sake.

originally posted by: LightSpeedDriver
a reply to: CthruU

Lemme fix that for ya...

Why is Helen drinking while in charge of children?
What is Helen suppressing while in charge of children?
Why can't Helen forgive whatever it is that is making her drink to excess and act out while in charge of children?

You're welcome.

What's the difference? The problem starts with Helen.

How's that for "reality"

Your welcome.

a reply to: FieldMarshalMatt

I counted 5 last straws.

I am aware of a case wherein the mother of the second 'baby daddy' ended up with full custody of both children.

It took time, money, a good lawyer, lots of time in court for hearings and securing of restraining orders and what not.

i would hate to be on the other end of this one. been told. good on ya man/woman

a reply to: FieldMarshalMatt

For clarity, before I comment , can you please classify your relationship to Helen?

Ex? Family member? Friend?

Thanks in advance

Respectfully,
~meathead

why in the hell would you let someone like that stay in your life?

It's difficult to say for sure since you havent defined the relationships and we have to guess, but it seems as if some of the blame is on you.

If you have always known that Helen (the mother of your children) is like this, why do you keep letting her see the kids? Why are you letting them be anywhere near her?

When I was full-blown drinking, my ex wouldn't let me see our son until O got sober. And then for quite a while after I was sober, I couldn't see him without someone trustworthy being with us. It sucked for him, but it's what had to be done to make sure our son was safe. Of course I didn't like it, but I respect my ex for doing it, and our son stayed safe while I was getting established in sobriety.

What's your situation? Does Helen have legal custody? If so, you may need to change that. If not, then you need to prevent her from seeing the kids until she is straightened out.

Sounds like family...