We Are All Victims

There appears to be an eager readiness for the majority of people to take the role of victim (Even man's first from the Judaic tradition took the role of victim, as both Adam and Eve blamed others for their lot), and I am of the opinion that this tendency is being manipulated and exploited by those who understand that accepting one’s role as a victim is akin to relinquishing one’s power. Being a victim is passive (the object, rather than the subject of an action), and although of course it is true that many or most of us have been victimized by actual violence at some point in our lives, taking the part of perpetual victim, or victim by association to a group with which one identifies, puts one in a place of powerlessness.

The past few years have seen a trend to make victims of us all. Whatever our race, our political affiliation, our gender, our biological sex, our religion, or our nationality be, we have found ways to assume that we’re under attack. The corporate media has lent validation to our claims, broadcasting the “proof” for all to see-- despite those (other victims) who continue to willfully ignore our pain. So MAGA supporters, gay black men, women, Muslims, Christians, men, etc etc etc etc etc all find themselves equally victimized and arguing over who has it the worst.

The brutal truth is that this world is dreadfully unequal. Some of us are born into healthy bodies and relatively safe environments, while others may come into the world blind and lame or to a war zone or to parents who hate us. We have weaknesses, strengths, talents, circumstances, environments, obstacles and opportunities which are unique to us. We ALL have what it takes to make the best of our situation. We ALL have the responsibility to make the best of our situation and to do whatever it takes to help those around us to do the same.

And YES there are still horrific policies or customs in place which, with concerted effort, could be re-examined or eradicated in order to give others better opportunities… which is precisely why sitting around bemoaning our victimhood is such a crime. Right now, we desperately need less victims and more motivated, loving, and compassionate people.

And we have all been victimisers as well.
Time to change, we need to take responsibility

originally posted by: Raggedyman
And we have all been victimisers as well.
Time to change, we need to take responsibility

This is an excellent point. Absolutely agree we'd be better off understanding that we're fighting a personal battle more than anything else, and take responsibility for our own actions!

a reply to: zosimov

Is our very existence not subject and allowed by the mercy of the Gods? Somewhere way back in our species history we invented these Gods and for some reason believed that our existence depended upon their mercy. We ravaged our own and sacrificed their still beating hearts on the alters we built for them. "Oh please oh Benevolent Ones, allow us to live for one more day'' Just who was it that invented that crap in the first place. I really makes me wonder if there were not aliens who came here and subjugated us just long enough to build them shrines and help them make the broken piece of their space-mobiles to get them outta here.

But then even recognizing that our history is based on our own subjugation and then our own subjugation of others in defense of our victimization makes us victims of the past dosen't it? And for that matter am I not my own victim for way back in my youth when I chose to turn this way rather than that way on a road with no signs???

In any event Z, you are right, we need less victims. We could also use more of us trying to see just how victimazation lies deep within us all and root it out. Good thread.

a reply to: TerryMcGuire

Very interesting points.

Fascinating angle you added when you mentioned religion (how much are we at the whim of nature, chance, the gods).

Thanks for the food for thought. I especially appreciate your comment that victimization lies deep within us all, and that knowing it's there is the first step toward challenging that notion. When I wrote this I thought about how I could apply this to my own life and realized that the things I complain about the most are what I feel most victimize me. And that just by knowing this I can give myself the power to change things I don't like.

a reply to: zosimov

I often wonder that the ''eat or be eaten'' mentality that our social structures have as their foundations.
The two driving forces I find in ancient tribal success seem at odd with one another. One is the drive to compete with other tribes for resourses and the other being the drive to marshal forces within any given tribe to beat out the other tribe.

When I was in grade school our team mascot and sports teams rooted against the other grade schools. Then we moved on to middle school and found ourselves in the same tribe as those we rooted against just a year earlier, all the while coming together in unity to root and play against other middle schools.

Then by high shcool, those we fought against in middle school were now at the same school and learning to work together to vanquish the other foes. the other high schools in the area.

Then on to Junior College and the same process, high schoolers what had looked down on those from other schools now needed to work together to struggle against other Junior Colleges.

And guess what. Once out of Junior College, we found ourselves teamed up with those from other JCs against Universities in other cities and states.

Surely there might be some kind of lesson there.

a reply to: TerryMcGuire

Absolutely agree with you in that when cooperative and compassionate sides of our nature rule we succeed and thrive.

I also wonder if great deal of our time is spent fixating on problems we have no intention of approaching, and whether most of what is truly important to us happens within and extends outward. Having the choice to do what we know is right even when everything else is against us puts the power back in our hands.

a reply to: zosimov

This is a re-write and update of something that I wrote long ago.

July 4, 1976

I was hot that summer day, digging a trench alongside an older man, a black man, who had an accent much different from my own. We found it necessary to remove our shirts.

Having seen the deep scars on his back I asked, "How did you get those scars?"

"Machete. I was in the Nigerian Army during the Biafran War."

Puzzled, I asked, "Wasn't that a modern war, with guns and stuff?"

"Oh there were guns," he replied, "but mostly machetes in the bush."

Then I spouted out, "I remember the Biafran war. I was collecting money door to door with a church group; to help the starving Biafrin children."

"You stupid Americans!" he replied. "The fighters got that food. The fighting lasted longer, and more children died."

My desire for conversation died. We went back to digging.

=====================================
A tale from the old days; before Iranian Revolution, before 911; the days when U.S. Universities had much more international enrollment. We were both working for the University to pay for our education.

the Federal Government troops surrounded Biafra, capturing coastal oil facilities and the city of Port Harcourt. The blockade imposed during the ensuing stalemate led to severe famine. During the two and half years of the war, there were about 100,000 overall military casualties, while between 500,000 and 2 million Biafran civilians died of starvation.[31]

In mid-1968, images of malnourished and starving Biafran children saturated the mass media of Western countries. The plight of the starving Biafrans became a cause célèbre in foreign countries, enabling a significant rise in the funding and prominence of international non-governmental organisations (NGOs).
Nigerian Civil War

I just now remembered the original title for that story: Help Me Stop Hurting.

What's wrong with you people, don't you know that it's a lot easier to say "This only happened to me because I'm........." Then to simply say it's my fault. By blaming others for what happens then we don't have to do anything to correct it. I only got pulled over because.... instead of I got pulled over because I was speeding and made a mistake. I was reading articles on the internet a couple of days ago and saw one where a man is trying to sue the game and fish department. Why, because his camp site was destroyed by a bear. It's not my fault for leaving trash all over the place. It's game and fishes fault for letting bears run around free in the woods....

Yeah ok.

a reply to: pthena

Man, what a sobering perspective on how much some have and can endure, as well as a cautionary tale about good intentions. I do believe that a lot that we do to rectify injustice/disparity is making life worse for the very ones intended to benefit.

Thanks pthena

a reply to: MikeA


What? So I got chewed out and harassed and shamed by that National Forest Campground Host because I was showing my children how to catch lizards with a fishing pole?

I had a valid current fishing license. What I didn't have was the Fish and Game booklet. I couldn't defend myself on the spot. It wasn't until 2 days later, after we finished our fishing trip, that I read the booklet wherein catching lizards is specifically allowed; just not endangered species of lizards.

I didn't much feel like driving all the way back to the National Forest to shove the Fish and Games booklet in the Host's face.

a reply to: zosimov

This is the People sub-forum and not the Mudpit. That's one historical incident for which I had two points of contact. One was my response to media portrayal and the other was vicarious. I wasn't on the ground there.

If this were the mudpit I would probably be discussing how perpetual victimhood can be leveraged through decades long propaganda, lobbying, preaching, and etc. into a position of political power.

But this isn't the mudpit. So … against all pressure applied to the contrary … remember the Nakba.

originally posted by: pthena
a reply to: zosimov

If this were the mudpit I would probably be discussing how perpetual victimhood can be leveraged through decades long propaganda, lobbying, preaching, and etc. into a position of political power.

Oh so interesting that I almost did put this into the mudpit (I only have one thread in the mudpit out of over 200)... and I truly think you are on to something there. I can see how society is polarized and disempowered by way of politicians consistently pointing out ways one group of the population is vicimizing the other.
I ought to remind myself that a lot of good stuff can come out of a good ol fashioned mud sling.
But either way you handled the topic and the discussion parameters quite well and got some thought provoking points in.

a reply to: zosimov


It was around that time, 1975 - 76, that I met some Branch Davidians; nice people, not different from myself. They gave me their book, about 80 pages or so. I can't remember the title. I did read the book, understood how they thought and why they believed the way they did, even though I didn't agree with them myself. They were so happy that their move to Mount Carmel was "fullfilment of Bible prophecy".

1981, Vernon Howell ...

Fast forward 1993:
Clint Van Zandt, FBI profiler, was constantly being interviewed during the 51 day standoff. He had it "all figured out". I called one of the networks to see if they would connect me with Van Zandt. They didn't find what I had to say to be credible.

Fast Forward 1995:
Timothy McVeigh timed his attack in Oklahoma City to coincide with the second anniversary of the deadly fire that ended the siege at the Branch Davidian compound. One of my co-workers at the time had a sister who was in the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building at the time. I found myself swearing up and down to her that I had nothing to do with it. I had had the habit of expressing my feelings and views concerning the Branch Davidian Masacre. Yeah.

It's not about me. I am not the victim here, no matter what I feel.

ETA: That's all I can handle in this moment.

On the lighter side:


My sister did her RN clinical study in the Hospital that performed the baboon heart transplant.

a reply to: zosimov

I am of the opinion that this tendency is being manipulated and exploited by those who understand that accepting one’s role as a victim is akin to relinquishing one’s power

Nailed it.

For added effort, it derides the individual any sort of commonality with their peers and further fuels divides among friends and family all while supporting the ego.

Really is a recipe for disaster.

originally posted by: JinMI
a reply to: zosimov


For added effort, it derides the individual any sort of commonality with their peers and further fuels divides among friends and family all while supporting the ego.

Really is a recipe for disaster.

I totally agree.

a reply to: zosimov

Having the choice to do what we know is right even when everything else is against us puts the power back in our hands.

Yhouzza. And that is core. Having the choice. First though is recognizing the choice. I think that often we don't even recognize a choice having succumbed to being a victim we see no choices before us. Gaining back those choices is fundamental I think.

Here is a small story. Years ago I was taking a shower. As I showered it suddenly came to me that when I showered I always rotated to the left. I don't know how I noticed this but I did. Always turning to the left. So just for #s and giggles I decided to rotate to the right. I finished that shower turning to the right. It felt very odd doing that, like I was going against a natural thing. I had to force myself to turn to the right instead of going with the old pattern of turning to the left.

After drying and getting dressed it was time to put on my shoes, something I did every day. As I was putting on my first shoe I felt odd, as if I was doing something wrong. The act of putting on my shoes was almost completely foreign to me, as if I had to focus on every little move I made in order to get on that first shoe. Then it hit me. Unlike every other time over the years I was putting on my right shoe first. So I stopped and shifted on the side of the bed to put on my left shoe first and bingo, all was familiar again.

Somehow, noticing that little change in the shower and acting upon it set in motion a number of other ''choices'' that I had given up over the years like putting on my right shoe first rather than having no choice and going with my years long pattern of left shoe first.

Some call these ''baby steps''. Not going out and changing something big, but rather finding those smaller choices available to us that we fail to notice because of our old patterns. Moving on from those baby steps can come once we realize just how available those choices can be. That is once we begin to stop being victims of the patterns our past selves have established for our present selves.