shyness

i need help with my shyness in certain cituations. i can give speaches infront of the school and i am pretty socialable(sp?) with my friends. but when it comes to girls, i am totoally stumped. if i see an attractive girl walking by, more often than not, i wouldn't have the courage to go up to her. and please dont say "just do it", because i am sure we know it's so much easier said than done.

thanks

One thing most people learn as they get older is confidence. Confidence sends your shyness fleeing. Contrary to popular belief, looks has little to do with it. Its all about the attitude and mindset. You keep an aura of confidence about you and that’s all she wrote, the girls will flock to you. Ever see a poor, fat, ugly guy with a hot chick? Confidence baby! If you have the other stuff then its gravy!

Stop thinking of a girl as a challenge. She is just a girl, no matter how “hot” she may be. And treat her that way (that’s the biggest thing, treat hot girls like average girls and your in, they want to know why you don’t act like everybody else does around them)

Ill tell you “the” secrets that you can only learn with age, that most young people cant seem to figure out:

#1 She feels the same way, REALLY. Even the hot ones are an emotional wreck and insecure inside, just like you.
#2 Always smile and seem like you know what you are doing, be purposeful. Fake it if you have to.
#3 Don’t be afraid NOT to react or talk to a girl. I.e. under-react, it will only draw them closer. Builds intrigue.
#4 NEVER EVER GET TOO EXCITED that you are talking to a hot chick. Or at least don’t show it. Girls don’t want a guy that’s to eager, they want a challenge (tip: think about dead puppies).
#5 Let her talk. You just shut up (this way you are less likely to say something stupid, you can tell her about your telescope AFTER she is your girlfriend), don’t say a thing unless:
- She asks you a direct question
- The conversation will end otherwise
#6 Never, ever, ever call when you are supposed to. Always call late. Few hours, few days, etc…This will reel her in like a trophy bass. Dont explain why you called late either, just say "I was busy" "I forgot" etc.
And the most important secret of all:
#7 Always remember: You aren’t the one who is getting lucky, she is. Act that way.

Now don’t get me wrong, this all doesn’t mean you act like an a$$, it just means you simply don’t worry about it. She is just as messed up on the inside as you, trust me on that one. Be nice, be yourself, and just don’t get too eager. Be confident that she is as scared as you about meeting people. And yes, that very much includes the hot ones.

I am old and married now with a kid of my own. I am a semi OK looking guy, never had any money or a fancy car or a amazing job. But you know what? Once I figured out to simply stop worrying about it, I never had problems picking up the hottest girls around. I had NO BUSINESS with some of the girls I was able to date due to nothing more than a little confidence. If you do it right, they will ask YOU out. No kidding. I don’t care if you have a 4” nose, pimples, fat, bald, poor, don’t matter one bit. And one last thing: Once you get one hot girl, they all want to date you. Its like a club.

Build confidence and they will come….


[edit on 25-2-2005 by skippytjc]

That whole "cocky/funny" thing always worked for me. But yeah, confidence is all you need really, and looking good will only help more.