The Bush Bashing Game (amateur edition)

Welcome to the greatest undertaking in human history...

The Bush Bashing Game (amateur edition)

The official Bush Bashing Game began on February 24, 2005 when a Slovakian wardrobe malfunction set about a chain of events leading to the 10,000 year war. This amateur edition covers the 11,680 year period including future events, current events and historic events all Bush's fault going back to the canonization of the Holy Bible by the Council of Nicea in 325 CE (AD). Obviously since Bush wasn't born until July 6, 1946 and will most likely die before overseeing his objective (the eradication of humanity), much of the game's purpose is in actually discovering the historical and future placeholders integral to the on-going Bush conspiracy. Participants are also welcome to include events prior to 325 AD and post 12,005 AD as ancillary evidence of the insidious nature of Bush. Game progress, however, is based soley on directly demonstratable evidence of Bush conspiracy in the covered game-span period.

Scoring in the game (as in life) is on-going by a secret council of partipants' exes. A final winner is to be selected by a democratic vote among particpants, both riddled with irregularites and observed by Jimmy Carter. For your convenience the outcome has been pre-determined.

Participants may join, leave or return to the game at any time as the game is bigger than it's players, and though it may be criticised, it can't be stopped. A variety of self assigned player roles are available from Self Taught Constitutional Expert to History Professor, Junior College to Rogue Sycophant. The occasional entries of Bush Sycophants to the game are critical to its progress as further evidence players are on to something. Extra points are awarded for the identification of the all important double-agent sycophants via direct comparison to prominent Nazis. Players committing the egregious faux pas of citing Godwin's Law at any point in the game are Hitler.

The game itself (a trivial matter all things considered) is a version of Connect the Dots played as an increasingly difficult turn-based presention of Dots, Connections, and Conspiracies... which represent the themed connection of a group of three dots. Coup de Gras are an advanced level of game play in which a series of three idenitified conspiracies are grouped in an evident theme furthering the Bush agenda. A super secret level of game action (the SS Maneuver) connects three Coup de Gras.

After the initial presentation of a Dot all subsequent players are required to make either a connection, conspiracy, coup de gras or SS maneuver and present another dot for the next player to connect to the Bush Agenda. No player may connect his or her own dot, though higher level maneuvers including one's own prior presentions are always permitted even within the same turn of connecting another player's dot.

Turns of presentation are random, based soley on inspiration, and subject to elements of ridicule, correction and defense... but all entries (even the merely critical) must at a minimum present an alternate connection and dot should the proposed dot be deemed unplayable. Players are reminded though to be cautious in challenges as criticism may lead to exposure as a sycophant.

Let's begin. As in the tradition of our people, the initial Dot is taken randomly from the insipid observational humor of Jerry Seinfeld...

You know those little bags of peanuts on airplanes? What's up with that?

[edit on 25-2-2005 by RANT]

For Demonstration Purposes Only

Originally posted by RANT
You know those little bags of peanuts on airplanes? What's up with that?

One possible connection to the Bush Agenda for the omnipresence of peanut snacks on airlines is the sudden, severe and potentially fatal, systemic allergic reaction of anaphylaxis suffered by 0.0003% of the world's population Bush seeks to eradicate (albeit a modest genocide, but made all the more insidious by it's subtle and arbitrary nature).

Alternate Bush Agenda connections suitable for game play could include demonstratable financial ties to major peanut suppliers, links to federal bailout funds required for post 9/11 airline support (given the ever shrinking profits from the least effective method of peanut distribution in history) or merely an extended observation of how small airline peanut snacks have become in direct relation to the Bush Agenda of restricting the world's protein supply on behalf of the Texas Beef Council.

What's for dinner?
This tiny bag of peanuts (also known as a Texas appetizer) or the giant honking steak featured in the in-flight magazine complete with directions to your destination city's nearest Ruth's Chris?

See how that works?

Players may now choose to build off the original dot or use NippleGate.

[edit on 25-2-2005 by RANT]

This is ever so slightly more confusing than Survivor but I'll give it a shot.

The original dot is that there are peanuts on airplanes, correct?


The next dot would be that George Bush almost died from a friggin pretzel.

This demonstrates an obvious pattern of attempted assassination by use of salted snacks, which Bush could only gain plausible deniability for by nearly becoming a victim himself.


(OK, so I take your dot, add my dot, and draw a connection- right? If I messed up tell me and I'll correct it.)

We have connection self replicating of it's own dot.

Originally posted by The Vagabond
The original dot is that there are peanuts on airplanes, correct?


The next dot would be that George Bush almost died from a friggin pretzel.

This demonstrates an obvious pattern of attempted assassination by use of salted snacks, which Bush could only gain plausible deniability for by nearly becoming a victim himself.

You've invented a new aspect of game play Vagabond. A fnord.

While the fundamental premise of the game is to connect a given dot to The Bush Agenda (helping illuminate whatever that might be over the course of play) then provide a typically unrelated dot for the next player, you've done so with a snark linking salty airline snacks to the pretzel incident (a bash all it's own), and provided the very connection as the next dot... a Fnord gambit.

Very sportsmanlike of you as it's an easy setup for a conspiracy assist (linking three dots.)

Note though as game play advances players will want to provide less obvious dots (except in matters of strategy) as the goal is to increase the difficulty level for your opponents while quietly directing game play to your own agenda of conspiracy.

Originally posted by The Vagabond
This is ever so slightly more confusing than Survivor but I'll give it a shot.

Yes it is! Isn't it wonderful? And we've just begun.

At heart this is a conspiracy game merely using Bush Bashing as an anchor. In this version, the goal is uncovering the full gamut of influence for the insidious Bush Agenda. Conservative players should take note this has nothing to do with politics and give it a shot.

Furthermore, the ridiculous complexity of game play (hopefully increasingly so over time) should be familiar to fans of the drinking game quarters, where random arbitrary rules are interjected at interval to an increasingly cumbersome system of play that in effect is the game.

Self assuredness, not doubt, is key. But we'll go ahead and add the element of non-game play Bah's now to help.

A Bah is what I'm doing now. Any non-game play aside, interjection, propsal or question anyone wants to make. Even if it's just to humbug the game and inform the players that we never talk to them anymore and they're breaking up with us.

We'll also go ahead and assign a game goal for completion of this amateur edition. The first SS maneuver ends it. Points are then tallied by the current Bash Master upon game end from among all the arbitrarily assigned points along the way ala Who's Line is it Anyway?. This assumes an obvious winner, not requiring the previously promised show of democracy inaction, but that is a fallback possibility.

Additional rules may be proposed at any time by anyone, but the current Bash Master ultimately decides whether or not to incorporate them. That's about the extent of the Bash Master's power over game play though as they are limited to only making one new rule of their own proposal per turn as Bash Master. The Bash Master gauntlet get passed throughout the game as conspiracies are made. I'll serve as BM now, but we're close to our first conspiracy so it won't be for long.

No rules can be removed though. Just new ones added on.

While still BM I suppose I'll make my arbitrary one now in the spirit of quarters to help people get the idea.

No mentions of "Drink, Drank or Drunk." (an especially difficult rule to adhere to in Bush Bashing). And I just earned a snark as well.

See? Getting it?

I'm trying to limit my play in the amatuer edition here so I'll just make a quick pretzel connection to the Bush Agenda then provide the next dot, without going for the three point conspiracy leaving that open for the BM steal.

### Back to Game Play ###

The "pretzel incident" was most likely a "beer and pretzels" related message from August A. Busch IV, beer tycoon, unhappy both that Bush gave up drinking so publicly and has such disasterous foreign relations policies stiffling American beer exports, which explains subsequent industry wide tax cuts.

I know that knocks on your inside job set-up theory V. for plausible deniablity about the peanut genocide, but that's the risk of Fnord play.

Next dot: I'm sticking with Nipplegate since it's already out there. (Another snark for me!!!)

Okay, three dots in the game so far...one open needing a connection to continue, and no conspiracies made. Remember the Fnord was just a mini-conspiracy bonus between two dots, not three. Next full conspiracy gets the BM chair.

NippleGate now needs a connection to the Bush Agenda, then we need another dot to connect. Also, if so inclined, one may make a peanut, pretzel, nipplegate conspiracy relationship exposing a higher level of the Bush Agenda and steal the BM, but don't forget to leave us a dot.

I can't believe I just said that.

[Also edits not affecting game play are okay within the standard time window.]

[edit on 26-2-2005 by RANT]

Originally posted by RANT
### Back to Game Play ###

The "pretzel incident" was most likely a "beer and pretzels" related message from August A. Busch IV, beer tycon, unhappy both that Bush gave up drinking so publicly and has disasterous foreign relations policy stiffling American beer exports.

I just broke my own "no forms of the word imbibe" rule in the same damn post I made it. :shk:

I must secretly love Bush. :bnghd:

Points off for me.

Thankfully I caught it myself though (think Uno) rather than being exposed by another player as a prominent Nazi.

[edit on 26-2-2005 by RANT]

Connection: Nipplegate was designed to occur at an unexpected time and venue to produce moral outrage and thereby fuel a push for otherwise unacceptable censorship of media content by moral standards.

Dot: The runways and taxiways of Denver International Airport are arranged into a Swastika.

BAH:
For those who may have difficulty with the rules, I have drawn a picture of the basic manuevers including connection, dot, fnord, and conspiracy. I need confirmation that it is accurate of course.

It appears that Bush was gorffing down a Texas size pretzels at the time





[edit on 26/2/2005 by Sauron]

Thats not much of a connection methinks, and you gave no dot! You got my hopes up when I saw there was a reply.

Come on, help us gain some momentum Sauron. Make a link between the Denver Airport Swastika and either the existing points or the Bush agenda, then give us an unrelated point for somebody else to work with .

Sauron's a double agent!

Originally posted by The Vagabond
Come on, help us gain some momentum Sauron. Make a link between the Denver Airport Swastika and either the existing points or the Bush agenda, then give us an unrelated point for somebody else to work with

.

And don't forget one can go for the conspiracy move now stealing the BM chair in the process before adding the next dot.

Based on Vagabond's inspirational layout of the moves thus far here's a draft of the entire game design layout.

Conspiracy Hierarchy

It's a pyramid (of course) building via narrative connections from player proposed foundations (dots) to the ultimate Bush Agenda.

At a minimum, the game requires 27 dots or turns to build a complete Agenda. In future rounds this will work for Illuminati, Aliens, etc. as well.

By the end of game play, the final SS Maneuver should actually compose a pretty tedious and funny (almost Mad Lib) narrative explaining the total illumination of the Bush Agenda.

But we're still learning for now. Carry on.