Nose-jobs, sheeps and blind lepers

In case you were wondering where Michael Jackson went to, he’s still here, only with a different shade of skin, and a nose that’s been reduced quicker than a packet of nuts in front of three squirrels! The ‘King of Pop’ is walking plastic, he’s had more nose jobs than I’ve had hot dinners. No wonder he hides behind that rather too long hair of his, because if he stayed out in the Sun for any longer than two minutes, he’d melt quicker than a snowman in a nuclear reactor!

Many singers like ‘Wacko Jacko’, depend upon induced currents in a microphone to project their voice, and it’s an everyday item that they take for granted. I fail to see why vocalists need this piece of audio equipment, as having a profession in singing, usually requires you to rely on your own voice anyway. However, it’s not the rare open-air concerts that bother me, it’s just the fact that do athletes rely on drugs to do their work for them? Well, actually a few of them do, but the majority of them don’t! I’m not suggesting for one minute that so-called singers neglect their career altogether, but use their own voices for their proper functions. For pity sake, take yourself to an opera and that will hopefully teach you that microphones are not needed in this world, or any other world! So I’m sorry David Edward Hughes if I’ve offended you in any way whatsoever, but back in 1878 when you thought you were doing your society a favour in inventing this piece of audio equipment, you weren’t! You may as well have counted sheep! They take up all of Wales, you couldn’t miss them! The birth rate of sheep in Wales annually is the same as the amount of sand grains in the Sahara desert! So please, if you’re reading this in Wales now, and you just happen to be holding a working chainsaw, you know what to do don’t you, cheers! It may be disheartening to think of, and I’ll probably have the RSPCA on my back in a few hours time, but you’ve got to be cruel to be kind! Just think of how much wool could be made into jumpers for those freezing children in Antarctica. Each child would have three wardrobes full within seconds, and they’d have a supply for half their lifetime!

The only other people I feel sorry for in the World apart from Antarctic children, are:-
1. Claustrophobic people who live in flats.
2. Bees with hay fever.
3. Polar bears that inhabit the Sahara Desert.
4. Women born with blonde hair.
5. Blind lepers with no ears (which I am not entirely sure exist, but if you’re reading this and you’re one of them, God bless you!).

One of the weirdest rants yet...

You might like this thread

enjoy

Thanx, I think I waffled too much, I always do!

You're right, I do like that thread!