The apprentice butcher.
Translations:
Simpson - Washing Machine
Ute - Similar to a small pickup truck.
Wacko - Serious hormone problems
Mug - Idiot
Wadda - What do
Righto - Okay
Lambs Fry - Liver and bacon cuts
Bic - Lighter
Friday, 8.30pm. Reg's house.
"Argh CRAP! Flamin powers out!" yelled Mick.
Reg chimed in, "Wouldn't yer flamin know it, right in the middle of the game,
some poor sod has probably takin out a power pole on the main road."
"Jeez, it's dark, can't see a damn thing, you got a torch Reg? Hang on I'll use me lighter." Pete fiicked
the Bic.
"Shine that lighter this way yer mug, there's a lantern in the laundry cupboard. Hope there's enough gas."
"Coming your way Reg, lead the way." Pete replied.
Lenny, sitting on the lounge also flicked his lighter on. "May as well have a smoke, you want one Mick?"
"Yeah, nah, yeah okay." Lenny puffed a smoke alight and held into the darkeness. It was plucked from his fingers.
"Cheers mate." "No wuckers mate." Lenny lit another up. In the background he could hear Reg swearing and Pete apologising for the lighter
going out.
Apart from the noise coming from the laundy. It was strangly quiet. No echo.
From upstairs came the scream, "What are you wan##rs
up to now". It was reg's wife, who was to be supposed to be asleep upstairs.
No response from Reg or Pete so Lenny offered, "Alls good, power outage." There was no reply.
No worries considering Reg's wife, Gloria, was considered a bit of a wacko.
Lenny heard the hiss of gas and a pop as the lantern lit up. 'Thank god for that', he thought.
He turned to the direction of where he perceived Mick to be. "Reckon that's it then aye, might have to go home now mate?"
Mick didn't return his question. Lenny saw a cigarette glowing on the floor. "Crikey Mick! You'll burn the carpet."
He picked at the glowing ash which had fallen apparently. "S##t, mate, wadda yer think yer doin?
Gloria will be pissed if there's a burn in the carpet ya mug."
Mick didn't respond. "Okay, stop being a dick Mick!" Lenny yelled out to Reg and Pete, "Hey happies,
bring the lantern in here." All was quiet. "Okay, smart asses, enough's enough."
Lenny could make out the glow from the lantern and carefully edged his way towards the light.
He entered the open laundry. On the 'Simpson' was a small gas lantern. Bright, lighting up the white
walls. No sign of Reg or Pete. Lenny thought, 'Hangon, the four of us were to watch the Friday night footy finals.
The other three barracked for Adelaide. He was the only one following Melbourne. Melbourne was leading by at least six goals.
This was a set up.' "Righto stupids, I get it. Yez can't flamin see Melbourne winning yar Wa##ers!"
All was quiet. "Okay, I'll take the lantern, I'm off." He said in a reasonably loud tone.
With the light, hissing, Lenny walked back out through the lounge room, waved the lantern around, no sign of Mick.
He spotted the burn on the carpet and imagined Gloria 'losing the plot' when she sees it in the morning.
Lennny yelled, "Righto yer mongrels, I'm off, if yer want a lift Mick I'm goin to the ute right now"
He let the lantern light lead him to the front door. He turned the knob, It stuck but he managed to force it with a nudge
and the timber door opened sharply with a loud crack. He heard the door slam shut after he got outside.
It was cold too, foggy, reflecting the lanterns glow.
He made his way to his ute. Easy to see, it was white. Lenny dutifully put the lantern down next to the drivers door,
stood up and reached for his pocket where his keys would normally be. Not there. He patted his pockets.
A mental picture came to him. His keys, wallet and smokes were on the coffee table inside where he put them
as he made himself comfortable on the lounge.
The other guys didn't call him "Lenny the loser" for nothing. He knew how to butcher as shown by his father. Goats, pigs,
rabbits and sheep. He knew the cuts. But, he stuffed up on large beef carcasses all the time. They were too heavy.
Prompting his coworkers to nickname him "loser!" This cost Reg some money in his corner shop business.
Lenny picked the lantern up and made his way to the front door. He tested the knob and pushed. Push as hard as he might, he
couldn't force the door.
"Wadda yer think yer doing mate! Breaking the door down?" The voice was Reg's.
"Where the eff you been. What's goin on, is this a joke or what?" replied Lenny.
He couldn't make out Reg who was just out of the lanterns light glow.
"I'm just gettin me keys mate. I'm off, see yer Monday at work." Lenny tried the door again. The flamin thing wouldn't open.
"Settle down Lenny." That was Mike. "Will we do him now?" came Petes voice. "Get it over with!" Yelled Gloria from upstairs.
Lenny could only offer, "Reg,,, mate,,,I won't tell anyone about the cats and dogs."
Monday 8.30am.
"Hello Missus Lawrence", Mick offered in his best polite voice from the front counter of Reg's Butchery.
"How can we help you this fine morning?"
"Is that lambs fry and bacon I see there?"
"Yep, fresh as the pork steak and kidney cuts over here I know Mister Lawrence likes." Proffered Mick.
"Mornin Missus Lawrence!" Came the deep voice of Reg. "Yes, it is a good morning Reg." replied Missus Lawrence.
"Look, I'll have a pound of that lambs fry, a pound of the pork steak and kidney and two of those pork chops please."
"No worries", replied Reg. He called out to Pete who was busy mincing in the back room of the shop.
"He Pete!, make up a half dozen of yer best sausages for Missus Lawrence will ya, on the house."
"No wuckers boss."
"You're so kind Mister Reg." Replied Missus Lawrence. "By the way, where's that young fella who was always
here serving on Monday?"
"Well, he's around Missus Lawrence, but I have a new apprentice coming in today."
The End.
edit on 9-10-2018 by bally001 because: (no reason given)
edit on 9-10-2018 by bally001 because: (no reason
given)
edit on 9-10-2018 by bally001 because: (no reason given)
edit on 9-10-2018 by bally001 because: (no reason
given)