Lifelong passion

I missed the contest but I just couldnt Not write this.
~~

They've asked me to speak about my life, these reporters who barged into my home. Dont they know I'm dying? I suppose so, thats why theyre here. Don't they know ive said all the words I can? That I laid down the pen years ago? Just let me die in peace.

I croak this to them, but they dont care. I wonder what interest they have in me, I shut myself away when the inkwell ran dry and my muse disappeared. This was many, many years ago. They say that in my absence, people found my words. Many people. Well its not like I hid them. Still, I feel a light spring in to my heart, just a spark. I feel a new man.

I had thought to give up words, feeling they had abandoned me, feeling the things I had written just went to waste. But there- is that a flutter, in my throat? It passes- I no longer have the reflex with which I used to speak words written in the wind.

It amazes me to think that words could still live inside me after So Many years. For a moment, this is all that matters, even though my aching hands cant even pick up a pen anymore. I feel her, my muse, just as if shed never left.

Perhaps it was my own despair that blinded me. Yes, thats it. I gave up. I gave up because my worrds obly brought me more pain, since I could bever use them. I gave up because no one else needed them. I gave up because I forgot about wtiting for the sake of writing. Whats that? Oh, the reporters are still here.

" Yes, I'm elated that I finally got recognized, but cant you see? In in the middle of something more important. My muse has returned. No, I don't have another poem, thats not what matters. You dont understand, the muse isnt a word for the process of writing. The muse is creativity itself. All these years, ive wasted away in bitter despair, thinking creativity drained from my heart, and my joy and purpose with it.

But shes here! She's here for me. Now go away, and let me rest in peace. Ive said enough. "

I feel the old familiar pull, the call to write. Except this time, it is I that cones to it. Ah- it is better than I ever dreamed.
~
So died [redacted] at the age of 82, autbor of many stories, poems, and writings which have helped shape the world into what it is today. He lived an entirely uneventful life, and, in the end, we see him clearer in death, through the words he left behind: "I breath in gasps of ink and in the unity between people."

Better late than never . I liked it

I felt that and really understood. We always wonder if our lives have made a difference. You, the op, must be an elder because this kind of mindset can only be found in those who have lived a lifetime. Beautifully expressed and sad.

a reply to: Justso

I couldnt help but laugh. Im sorry. Its just that I'm still a youngun, I turned 23 a month ago in fact!

I take it as a great compliment, however. Sometimes it does feel like a lifetime that ive lived. Despair has a way of aging you, I guess, lol.

Thanks to you, and to you as well, Sprocket!

I liked it too... it’s unfortunate you didn’t make the deadline for the contest.

Please keep sharing your writing Lucidwarrior.. you have a natural talent.

Sorry-you appear wise beyond your years. I enjoyed it very much.

Thank you, Sheye, I will! As long as I write, you can expect to find them here! Its a way for me to record my writings, actually, as well as to get feedback on them!

Just So- no need to apologize! I certainly took no offense. I've been through a lot, and the feelings discussed are ones I hold now.
Theres often times ive wondered, in the depth of my despair, if ill ever give up writing, because the joy it brings me is fleeting compared to the despair of being abke to do and be certain things obly in writing. For this piece, I just imagined that had happened, that I was dying of old age, and yes, because I wish to ve of service and to make a difference, so the character was discovered. Thats why I redacted the name, at this point I didnt want to put my real one out, lol. Not that it matters really but eh

a reply to: LucidWarrior

It is a shame that you missed the contest, but this is a winner in my eyes. You have always had a special gift of painting thoughts and emotions with words, beautiful written words.

I can't help but to light up every time I see you have written something new. Then...I smile.

a reply to: Night Star

I'm glad I can still make you smile!