Moving to a different country...

On a good day moving sucks, I think that is something everyone can agree on.
My move from the US to Germany sucked, and that was with a fully functioning wife.

Now moving back to the US with a wife 7 months pregnant and her supervision is great at slowing us down but pretty bad about actually helping us in any way shape or form, has turned an already sucky thing to experience into a new special level of Hades.

Sleep... whats sleep, cleaning, packing, managing the move for the dogs and cats, getting her second vehicle home because she never got the title, and Oklahoma managed to not de-register her car, and then passed a law stating no current tags no title. (there is another 400 dollar fee we will be paying) Getting her to her doctors appointments, and now I get to make sure she tests her blood 2 hours after every meal cause the kid has ballooned to 5 lbs (estimated) with 2 months to go so the doctor is concerned about Gestational Diabetes, the way this last 6 months have gone if I didn't have an ulcer before I probably have one now.

To top it off, our lovely Turkish landlord... trying to stick us with a 10,000 euro bill to repaint the house, my first thought was with what real gold flakes.

add a bad back and well... my F it bucket is full and its been kicked over, I don't know whos Wheaties I peed in during a previous life but I am sorry.


/end rant

a reply to: Irishhaf

Wherever you go there you are.

Not the biggest fan of Billy Joel.

But your post made me think of this song:

Where ever you go?

Landlords suck all over.

If you would never have moved to Germany in the first place, not much of this would have happened.

a reply to: Irishhaf

Is there a reason she doesn't help with the tasks she could?

I have a two year old with diabetes and even he wakes up saying, " Blood! Breakfast!"

a reply to: Atsbhct

She does... but that is where her leadership comes in, we need her for this appointment or that appointment which usually turns out to be somebody higher up asking the exact same question her supervisor asked her, but they want to make sure it was asked right.


Also she was gone for a month, getting housing lined up, a vehicle lined up and a service to pick up our pets and board them for a few days while we settle in.

She has done some stuff, and I have pushed more to her (like having her deal with the landlord, told her to not to be afraid to play the pregnant lady card) but with her bosses breathing down her neck I am trying to limit the stress on her. (read somewhere stress is not a good thing) so trying to keep her stress down, get her eating healthy and taking her meds.

Also... well she has the memory of a goldfish if its not something she is interested in, so meds, blood, etc fall into things she doesn't like and I have to remind her.

Lot of physical changes for her since she got pregnant so trying to be supportive while praying both her and the boy come through this healthy.

originally posted by: neo96
Where ever you go?

Landlords suck all over.

Tenants suck too.
I've never keep any security/damage deposit from honorable tenants who abided by their lease AKA paid their rent and not forced a court ordered eviction.
I consider living in my rental "usual wear a tear" .
And cover all prep and paint to ready for the next tenant.
UNLESS you hang me with months (3 or more) of back rent and court costs
to force an eviction.

So which side do you fall on rent avader and evicted
??
or are you just generalizing ??

Just keep telling yourself that It's stressful, but temporary. You'll get through this.

You are a good husband, and this experience will make you an even better father than you would have been without the extra 'care taking' practice!

At least you're not having to pack up and move a newborn and a severely 'postpartum depressed' (utterly useless) wife as my husband had to 20 years ago

You are trying your best in a very stressful situation , and you should pat yourself on the back for that.
Things will get better eventually ( even if they get a little worse first ). The 10,000 euros for painting is ridiculous !

a reply to: Irishhaf

Turkish painters suck.

Moving while knocked up? It's...not that bad. Did that with my first kid, 8 months and hauling heavy boxes snapping at my husband that I'm not disabled and s#. Delicate flower I've never proclaimed to be nor acted like.

Honestly, IMO, it sounds like GD aside, you wife is making it a lot harder than she needs to out of spite or something. I've seen several friends make preggo moves to new abodes, and drive their husbands up the wall/to tears at the same time. I was all, "BTDT, you TRYING to get divorced or something?? Talk about overreaction central!"

I make a point of not offering to help pregnant friends move anymore, or even rearrange a room. I learned it's not worth it if they can't do something themselves, because they're just going to bitch and moan and dictate while being utterly ungrateful for the help.

About your landlord, fully integrated as it seems, exactly doing the same thing as every other german landlord does.
I guess it´s that "Kaution"(deposit) thing?
They all try to make money with that rule.

Best advice is, even if it sounds silly atm, to call some friends, buy some color and paint what needs to be painted by yourself. 10.000 Euros? No way, or how big was that house, was it a mansion? If you do the work by yourself you will only have to pay the color. For 10.000 you could paint every house on your street...

I know that it sounds silly after reading about your actual problems, but 10.000 Euros can be a problem too.

You need to stop the worrrying. Your wife is responsible for her health; not you. Stress is bad for everyone. I've moved alot-and even when I was pregnant moving many years ago and helped with it all-did at least my share-the bad mood just is part of the pregnncy-must be your first. Yeah, it sucks to rent-like they always keep the deposit unless you find an honest landlord which is just about impossible. So, slow down, breathe; don't take on so much. She's more than half the move so she is a responsible adult and should be more bringing a new life into the picture.

Yay movers are done, now just cleaning and inspection from the landlord to go and we will be done with the house.

Vehicle detailing for shipment and paperwork for cars and pets are left... I am subsisting on anger and caffeine. (not directed at the wife just the situation in general the USAF screwed her over.)

originally posted by: neo96
Where ever you go?

Landlords suck all over.

That's so true.