Birth-giver that left kids behind for trip to Germany gets probation

originally posted by: InvisibleLady
a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

Feeling some serious bonding happening right now. (ha, ha) (but serious too).

I say that even though it sounds super emotional because when one has grown up with emotionally distant parents/any important relationship, one realizes how important and so easy it is to be more emotionally invested in the other person, to really see that other person. I'm not one for small talk, I always go to the heart of the matter.

So I said it. And I think you "get" it.

Haha, we obviously see things the same
...and yes, I'm massively emotional and hit it immediately if say a mate is talking about something.
"I bet you felt..." is common in conversations with me lol
Some of the hardest, dodgy blokes in my environment talk to me about stuff they feel unable to in their more regular shady world. We're all human.

The mother in the OP though...even the most dodgy gangsta folk I know wouldn't abandon their kids, it really is a tragic story.

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

Yes, I caught the edit. And yes, walking with the baby. Every moment with one's child is beautiful, but that first year with all the mind-blowing changes and growth, smelling their breath, hearing their sighs, watching them sleep, the smiles - oh my goodness, it just fills my soul. Every child has that. When I'd visit my child at daycare all the kids would come running and glom onto me. My own child had a hard time finding a spot, ha ha. Best days of my life.

Some days I have to divert my focus when fears over what is waiting for the young people of today creep up. I guess every generation goes through that, but it seems so extreme: job situation, poor wages, lousy benefits, competition for everything, water shortages, anger in the world rising, no joy, lack of family ties, etc - the world seems so empty. But then, I think our kids will surprise us with their abilities and how all will work out.

a reply to: Necrobile

Agreed. That poor 12 year old is losing a childhood, if any of them even have one, by acting as a surrogate mother/protector/child minder and must be stressed beyond belief. The bond between siblings is one of the strongest and the worry they must have for each other is going to result in endless health and emotional issues. Poor kidlets.

Those kids either have more sense than their mother by having had to learn the hard way to make it to this point without any guidance from her, or are little mini-me's soon to repeat the cycle. And to leave a gun?

She'll do the recommended counselling, as much as she needs to in order to get on with what she considers her life. But, you don't have four kids and change just because of ordered counselling. She's all about having a good time and obviously the kids are holding her up.

a reply to: InvisibleLady

I absolutely loved every stage of being a parent, from baby to now adult.
It baffles me how any parent (especially mother who carried the child) could neglect the most beautiful thing in their life.
I may sound sexist now but Mams are special in some ways more than Dads. They are the ones who carried us, maybe it's a primal instinct, but ask most blokes and your mother, oh yes, her love and comfort is special.
Pity for the kids in the OP that their mam is failing them, maybe the judge made the correct order and can see hope of change for the best regarding the kids benefit.

...aw, daycare, I loved that age especially, just magic n marshmallows n fun!

a reply to: Necrobile

I don't know how it is in Iowa, but I'm extremely familiar with the custody laws where I'm at and I know what a high bar it is to have a no contact order issued against a parent, particularly of young children.

For that judge to sit on the bench and say, despite the actions of Macke which continue to this day, that she deserves to be involved with the children is an absolute mind blower for me.

originally posted by: Shamrock6
For that judge to sit on the bench and say, despite the actions of Macke which continue to this day, that she deserves to be involved with the children is an absolute mind blower for me.

Child services in the UK are similar, if the parent hasn't beaten the kids with sticks or whatever and wants to change, then supervised access usually wins the day.
I support it if the parties involved do as well. I have a mate who was removed from his mother and never knew her as he was growing up so feels loss since she's dead from heroin now.
I have another mate who had access with his dad before he died from heroin use and he feels happier than the mate who was denied access. He got to know his parent, he has memories and understanding.
It is a difficult and complex society problem when parents fail, it ain't black or white...all grey.

Imagine for a second that it was the father who did this.

Would the judge have the same reaction?

Society again proves it favors women.

a reply to: InvisibleLady

As age goes up the potential for adoption decreases.

Kids need structure and parents are usually the source of that, for what it's worth and despite her neglectful ways... She is the mother and has some sort of bond with her children.

Situations like this are never easy but it is easy to judge without being intimate with the situation. I hope the kids get the life they deserve, with or without her.

Personally I cannot fathom how someone can do that to their own flesh and blood, it's sickening. Was it too expensive to take her kids with her or something? It is beyond sad, it's pathetic.

originally posted by: RAY1990
Personally I cannot fathom how someone can do that to their own flesh and blood, it's sickening. Was it too expensive to take her kids with her or something? It is beyond sad, it's pathetic.

I thnk everyone agrees that mate

To be fair to the judge she did not say the fathers were fanning the flames.

Her lawyer, Michael Oliver........."The drama that has surrounded this case has been fanned by the fathers in this case," Oliver said.

Why the children were all not given to custody of the fathers I have no clue. Also why she was not alleviated from 2nd Amendment rights is also unclear. The judge had no interest in punishing the baby pooper apparently. The fact she was a also a woman may have had some bearing on this? Add to that the refusal of her to come home after being called by the police who told her return immediately? This judge has a severe gender bias problem. If anything happens to those kids as a result of the baby pooper retaining custody it will be as much the judge's fault as anyone's

Eta: just for yucks I decided to price flights from Kansas City to Munich - starts at $2.500 round trip, add 10 days hotel and food and the cheapest she could even do the trip was 4 grand. How many single mothers of 4 can afford that? I'm sure there's nothing her kids might need like dentist or doctor visits, new clothes or lessons for piano or karate. What a despicable character.

This woman not only abandons her kids but leaves them unsupervised and in the vicinity of a gun, for days? What is wrong with her that she could and did that? Just so wrong. However, I wonder, why the fathers (plural) could not have looked after their kids while she went on a possibly well needed break. Where were they when the kids needed them? They seem to all be disfunctional irresponsible and selfish parents, which sadly instills the wrong values in the kids who don't know anything different. Poor kids, they deserve a better upbringing than this.

originally posted by: Shamrock6
a reply to: Necrobile

I don't know how it is in Iowa, but I'm extremely familiar with the custody laws where I'm at and I know what a high bar it is to have a no contact order issued against a parent, particularly of young children.

For that judge to sit on the bench and say, despite the actions of Macke which continue to this day, that she deserves to be involved with the children is an absolute mind blower for me.

The law sadly is very black and white, there are boxes that need to be ticked and that judge was just going through the motions.

a reply to: MysticPearl

Wouldn't be surprised if the father had done it the same judge would drop the hammer on him, lose any type of custody chances, jail time at the very least.

originally posted by: Irishhaf
a reply to: MysticPearl

Wouldn't be surprised if the father had done it the same judge would drop the hammer on him, lose any type of custody chances, jail time at the very least.

You can be certain if a bloke did that he would not see those kids again until they were old enough to make the decision themselves, and yes he would receive a hefty punishment.

a reply to: Shamrock6

So does this mean she doesn't get mother of the year award??

a reply to: Asktheanimals

I think there's an issue with the custody. The father that got custody of his two kids is, as far as I can tell, local to the area. The other father lives in Texas.

From personal experience, either parent living out of state adds a whole mess of other issues that have to be sorted through.