How Every Apocalypse Starts

originally posted by: testingtesting
a reply to: Lagomorphe

Do you think you could duff up a baboon if it came at you?.
What is the best place to kick if faced by one also?.
You know just incase.

I would definately not try to duff a baboon up if you cross one as he/she will win without a doubt...

They are roughly 2 times as strong as a human being and have massive canines.

I have seen the bites that baboons can give on big strong farmer type blokes who were wearing chain mail gloves and protective armoured gauntlets too... Crush injuries which are not pretty to see at all...

Otherwise, they are pretty fast when threatened and will defend themselves individually or in a group causing major flesh rip injuries with their canines which are "ahem" significantly longer than ours.

Basically saying : If you ever cross a Baboon keep your distance or you will get your head kicked and be knacked up big time.

Kindest respects

Lags

a reply to: Lagomorphe

I need some baboons babies to train as my personal bodyguards.

originally posted by: testingtesting
a reply to: Lagomorphe

I need some baboons babies to train as my personal bodyguards.

Good luck weaning them of their mothers.

originally posted by: testingtesting
a reply to: Lagomorphe

I need some baboons babies to train as my personal bodyguards.

Gangstaz them things are... Gangstaz...

a reply to: Lagomorphe

LMAO!
I got caught under a troop of monkeys or whatever they were in the canopy above me in a Malaysian jungle once. Was scary as #, I'd obviously strayed into their territory so they were crazy screaming and showing teeth as I backed away.
Two or three of them on my shoulders I reckon I would have been done for.

originally posted by: CornishCeltGuy
a reply to: Lagomorphe

LMAO!
I got caught under a troop of monkeys or whatever they were in the canopy above me in a Malaysian jungle once. Was scary as #, I'd obviously strayed into their territory so they were crazy screaming and showing teeth as I backed away.
Two or three of them on my shoulders I reckon I would have been done for.

I have had my balls grabbed and held onto for a full 10 minutes or so by an adult male Rhesus Macaque... not a fun experience...

« In a high pitched voice » It’s a long story and I wish not to go into too many details...

Kindest respects

Lags

a reply to: Lagomorphe

Haha you beat my story!

originally posted by: CornishCeltGuy
a reply to: Lagomorphe

Haha you beat my story!

Actually and to be honest :

I have spoken about this a couple of times here on ATS but would like to share yet again.

I am a veterinarian surgeon (My first regiment in the army was the Royal army veterinary corps (RAVC) and then jumped onto other regiments afterwards) (now consulting on a private level internationally concerning animal welfare and ethics and ESPECIALLY primate conservation for endangered species)))...

This happened back in the late 80s when I was performing an electrocardiogram on the particular primate mentioned (who was called GOB)

He was the Alpha male in the colony and his GOB was bigger than the rest of his body.... the animal techs were Shàt scared of him as he was very capable of ripping off a finger or hand if you got on the wrong side of him.

At that time all ECGs were performed without anesthesia and GOB was strapped to a table with velcrose in order to perform said procedure...

I was the unlucky vet who was performing said procedure and had my bollocks right next to his right hand when I pressed the "read" button on the monitor.

Then the "squeeze incident" happened...

Nearly 15 minutes of pure bollock hell in order to get a decent ECG reading from the big feller....

We finally got a decent ECG reading but I was out of the local nightclubs for at least 3 weeks afterwards...

"coughs"

Warmest respects

Lags

a reply to: Lagomorphe

Haha that's the craziest story I've read in ages!

On an apocalyse stance, could you transfer a lot of your veterinary skills to humans if health systems collapsed etc?
Are many procedures similar, medications and the like?
I know humans are obviously different, but could you 'wing it' treating people?

originally posted by: CornishCeltGuy
a reply to: Lagomorphe

Haha that's the craziest story I've read in ages!

On an apocalyse stance, could you transfer a lot of your veterinary skills to humans if health systems collapsed etc?
Are many procedures similar, medications and the like?
I know humans are obviously different, but could you 'wing it' treating people?

That shouldn't be much of a problem if equipment/medication is available (depending if I don't eat them first (the human that is!))

a reply to: Lagomorphe

You'd be handy as a neighbour then
...and long pig, ah, just don't eat the brain! (kuru disease)

originally posted by: CornishCeltGuy
a reply to: Lagomorphe

You'd be handy as a neighbour then

...and long pig, ah, just don't eat the brain! (kuru disease)

Ahhhh the old Kurus disease...

You can get the same symptoms after 10 pints of Tetleys and a dodgy Vindaloo in Manchester :

Once symptoms set in, it was a swift demise. First, they'd have trouble walking, a sign that they were about to lose control over their limbs. They'd also lose control over their emotions, which is why people called it the "laughing death." Within a year, they couldn't get up off the floor, feed themselves or control their bodily functions.

Linkywink : www.npr.org...

Kindest respects

Lags

a reply to: Lagomorphe

Lol, 5 pints of farm scrumpy down this way causes similar symptoms!

On-topic, (ish) It's a bit like a zombie apocalypse in my parts at the moment with a dance party/rave going on, funny as # watching people floating around in their own heads. They're like slow zombies when not dancing, but some are like 28 Days Later Zombies when the hard house is on. Definitely not blaming the scrumpy for these zombies.
Ah to be young again

originally posted by: CornishCeltGuy
a reply to: Lagomorphe

Lol, 5 pints of farm scrumpy down this way causes similar symptoms!

On-topic, (ish) It's a bit like a zombie apocalypse in my parts at the moment with a dance party/rave going on, funny as # watching people floating around in their own heads. They're like slow zombies when not dancing, but some are like 28 Days Later Zombies when the hard house is on. Definitely not blaming the scrumpy for these zombies.
Ah to be young again

Cripes... Scrumpy... NOT to be drank in huge quantities when it rarely gets hot in the UK... (from my last memories...)

That stuff contributes bigly to sales and profits are made by BIG PHARMA for anti pain medication (for the noggin)...

Hair of the dog I tell you... Hair of the dog...

Off the record : Ever noticed how sex is much better when you have a raging hangover!?

Warmest respects

Lags

All I need to know about baboons, I learned from 'Ren and Stimpy.'

originally posted by: skunkape23
All I need to know about baboons, I learned from 'Ren and Stimpy.'

That is one NASTY Baboon Trip!

a reply to: Lagomorphe

Haha, I buy my scrumpy from a local farm, not even sure he has a license to sell it, and god only knows what percent alcohol it is!
In an apocalypse situation that farmer will definitely have something to trade, and will be glad he has his shotgun for sure.
...oh and last 3 days have been blue sky, sun, and just over 20C temp's - I think that was our summer just gone lol

originally posted by: CornishCeltGuy
a reply to: Lagomorphe

Haha, I buy my scrumpy from a local farm, not even sure he has a license to sell it, and god only knows what percent alcohol it is!
In an apocalypse situation that farmer will definitely have something to trade, and will be glad he has his shotgun for sure.
...oh and last 3 days have been blue sky, sun, and just over 20C temp's - I think that was our summer just gone lol

Luckily I have a vineyard...

« Slaunters off nonchalantly looking right smarmy »

a reply to: Lagomorphe

Not jealous
...on a serious note, say some societal collapse and booze starts running out (same as illegal drugs would in the short term) there would be some crazy withdrawing addicts out there.
Of course I would also want to have a drink when my crappy surviving day ended so I am keen to get into homebrewing and learn how to create my own yeast.
I wouldn't care how rough it tasted in survival times lol