Path, volition, and resolve

a reply to: KellyPrettyBear


Well in what gets called the age of darkness or Kali Yuga each of us sort of has to go through the Dipankara business where all real teaching is dead and it is the by oneself business, I mean Siddhartha learned yoga and meditation but realized he already knew the path but sort of forgotten it while sitting under a tree as a child... a deep state of calm and tranquility or jhana of calm abiding.

Being natural states... all the talk of super this and super that is like a dance of puppetry for those stuck to the mundane, or concrete that need to be told and can't imagine possibility.

I was thinking it interesting how I think of reality as a framework with trope after trope arising and passing, and that perhaps you have seen the same thing so much that you called it a meme that such has repeated or arose and passed so often.

Like millions of faces a million places and yet the same story... so yeah; I know where you are coming from with the heart business, otherwise it is right back onto the repetition and blind to that repetition... so why waste your breath and time; knowing they will see it eventually and when is their business to handle.

My abbot knew exactly the cord to slice that was like a huge face palm... of duh!! Which penetrated deep into the nature of impermanence and all I could do was smile like an idiot the way he was smiling at me but he was smiling like a loving parent with compassion pouring off of him.

Of course when that same smile crosses my face? His energy of being is not even a second later in arising as purely him. So I feel lucky to have met one that could point effortlessly and directly. Before then I was like a dog tied to a tree going in one direction round and round, chasing my own tail.

a reply to: BEBOG

Beautiful.

One can always tell when someone has seen the Unicorn, even from a great distance.
(various metaphors apply.. I like this Western one).

The brain begins to slowly transform.. due to being watered by the essence of
beauty itself.

One of the first signs of a partial awakening is excessive verbosity and writing,
tho some are naturally windy from birth, like I was.

The first symptom is not stable, and is associated with mania and mental illness.

The first true symptom of Beauty flowering always make me giggle and laugh and
hug.

A lot of people bring up the Kali Yuga..

but all times have been wretched.. never has beauty flowered like it really ought.

this is called "the myth of the golden age". It is a common myth.

No teacher can walk a single step for you.. and the best of teachers "point the finger"
and "water the plant" subtly, until the student can make the leap on their own.

How wonderful that your abbot was a treasure for you.

Kev

a reply to: KellyPrettyBear


Yes because energy gets displaced and grasping at thinking one knows something; this is the inversion, still grasping with the head instead of with the heart... eventually the two get married into being whole and the war is over... when head finally shuts up the heart sings it's symphonies.

Easy to grasp at that too... but it is much better to grasp at that than head, by that point in experience... head already knows what to do and just acts.

I only seem to suffer the most around my mom; getting up there in her age... her mind is scattered like leaves in the fall every wind turns over countless arisings; and where focus is needed most? There is laxety like watching ones step; since the mind and body has taken stairs countless times in her many decades, point A to B should be from one step to the next step until clear of them... I try to help in the ways that I can, so it isn't so scattered and strewn about... of course when she gets into deep focus saddness and regret arises instead of peaceful silence. Too many children etc still self centered and focused than hey old lady you did the best you could with what you had and knew how to do... only myself and maybe the sister of her's she is closest too will say so... otherwise resentment and finger pointing instead of taking their own responsibility in the situations.

Lol heavy... But hey maybe that lessens or eases the time in hell as their negative only produces better for her kamma wise. :p

a reply to: BEBOG

I am with you.

Kev

a reply to: BEBOG

I have one for you my brother.

In the really lousy tradition I came from, one was never supposed to
cling to experience. One was supposed to ignore all the asuras seen
while meditating.. whether lovely devas or flaming hungry ghosts.

The most "unforgiveable sin" (it was forgivable.. but really frowned
upon) was to "define the self" as being of one particular form or another..
as the true form of the "self" is formlessness itself.

anything you perceive about yourself is wrong..!

It's all neti neti practice.

but we innately know that we exist.. so we must be *something*

I was told that after I became fully and completely enlightened, after
my realizations had stabilized, that I could take a crack at writing
about what we really are.. but that nobody would understand me..
as they would have to have a mind like mine, to understand!

Seems silly doesn't it?

Now of course I'll do everyone a favor and say that I'm not
enlightened.. that's easy enough.. that's a junk word.. it
has no real value. It's full of cultural bias and misinformation.

I'm alive. Let's just keep it at that. It's close to true. Close enough.

But I wanted to share an experience with you.. just f**k it all, and
break all the rules.. and see what your years of Buddhism that I
don't have, has to say.

The day before my apparent inner being detonated into light and
fled my brain..

I was walking to the kitchen for a drink of milk, when one of the
most powerful visions Iv'e ever had in my life struck me out of
the blue.. (mind you, I don't seek visions nor want them).

The vision was of 4 individuals, 3 male and 1 female.. they seemed
to radiate immense age and wisdom. It was like each was billions
of years old at the very least.

They were dressed similarly, but differently.. as if from Asian
cultures.. 2 Chinese, 1 Hindu, and 1 I could not place.. could
have been Iranian.

They all knew each other.. and it was like I had known them all
for endless time.

There was a somberness.. a quiet beauty and dignity about them.

I immediately knew, and they knew.. and they knew that I knew..
that they were about to cease to exist.. to end their possibly
trillions of years of combined life experience.

There was this little slab of rock, sort of like an altar. .but it
was all natural. It had a little cloth on it.

They did this little ritual, where they said goodbye to each
other.. (and to me). They almost had tears on their faces.
It was mostly joy.. but it was so somber.

Then the 4 of them picked up the cloth and folded it up
and put it on the rock/altar.

Then they were no more. I could no longer feel them.

What would a Buddhist, a Theravadin say, other than
all is illusion and to disregard it?

LOL.

Kev

a reply to: KellyPrettyBear


I would say you encountered the Gaya Terma, Gaya Tulpa, or Gaya Terton business... there's a formation world someone created for when someone uncovers and essiential part of teaching and is granted more time after death as an experience which is what you had in your kitchen business remaining aware while going through a bardo state... you came across those people... I will have to look for the story but that will take some time, but it involves the exact people you mention. As a generated thought form to signal a sort of end game to the gaya whatever as the information was uncovered or divined by someone... kammic seeds planted over time are often dug up or reach fruition and the one doing such can then be easily identified in incarnation after incarnation.

But I will look to see if I can find it; as it speaks of the exact archtypes you're speaking of.

A tulpa is a sort of ghost something one can manifest into being some make them as helpers etc using yidhams etc but thats how all of us got here to begin with and once aware if the one creating them cannot wrangle them in they take a life of their own and then treated as separate like thousands and thousands of bodhisattvas emanating from one buddha...
The key is dont create one as that is the exact same thing one managed to purge out of ones head with all of that practice and when you give birth to it, then on death it will enter and give birth to you over and over in successive births...

I finally had enough and wrangled all of that back in and renounced the boddhisattva path altogether cementing myself on the Thervadin path... where theres nothing for me left to know or learn and can simply be.

Being one singular being or entity all throughout the concept of "time" one has agreed in such contracts to cut or divide oneself up create tulpa after tulpa and enter the cycle or rounds of future births and deaths... when they exhaust they exhaust and youre just done... and the bardo or death state you went through well that was one of the manufactured tulpas for a terma that you agreed to at some point unaware of the contact.

To some all there is; is an eternity and well out of boredom in that eternity they create things such as that you spoke of... they say let me enter and be blind to the game until I uncover such and such... well you uncovered such and such. Game over and so they showed up to write the new direction.

Thats all... but anyway I will find it; if you do before myself then obviously thats fine as well... if you already know it? and are in a sense baiting me?Then perhaps I am just wasting my time... this golden fish needs no hook.

ahh here it is www.bibliotecapleyades.net...

a reply to: BEBOG

Thank you. I like you just the way you are, and have no desire to teach you anything.

Maybe instead you want to teach me?

Kev

a reply to: KellyPrettyBear


I edited and updated once I found the link... the tulpa is really no different than a Boltzmann brain, just a different name over time.

Concepts repeat as form over and over since it is two men in a boat one form and one name... they as observer and observed bounce them back and forth over and over as subject and object while boat remains boat... thats the link in the chain of causation called "knowledge".

If looked into deeply it is just as empty as the rest of the twelve links and only full when grasped by the demon or mara hungry to do so... that takes ignorance; and well not ignorant the entire chain falls apart and yet life goes on so an intermediate states arises based on those attachments and a new chain or life forms that life is infinite either way attached or not. In the wheel or out of the wheel makes no difference when the entire thing can no longer re-attach...

I said to my abbot when he mentioned the old man... I don't know which is the old man and which is the corpse. He went walking out to the temple where the wheel of life sits inside, when he came back he was smiling and said I dont know who I am... lol meaning he didn't know which he was either. The flame that used to burn everything ceases and then burns itself all up then self goes away cant build that house again because youre not ignorantly absent... always present in awareness lol doesnt mean other beings wont arise and pass looking to haunt or occupy. Thats honestly when the veil gets humorous... of course attachment of sensed can scare the living hell out of someone just the same.

I turned the wheel over and over round and round realm after realm... which is a good thing to do as then there is absolutely no part of it that you are not completely and wholly intimate with. You can even dive into the black and white spiral when not greedy, hatful or delusional make a black spot in that infinite yin/yang white... keep doing that and the entire thing is transformed into a pure land... thats what I do. Infinite amount of "time" so why not get rid of the entire black decent... all of the dualities to rise and fall in and out of such?

Thats what buddhas do and how pure lands even exist...

a reply to: BEBOG

You do make quite an impression. Maybe the Abbot should turn things over to you?

After the 4 visited me, i knew that I was about to die. I suppose that
historically it's suppose to happen in the moment of death.. but time
being what it is.. there's no reason it couldn't happen whenever needed.

You might recognize the symptoms.. the heat in my body, starting from
my lower body drained out of me, until there was no heat left in my
body. My limbs stopped working. It seemed like the body had become
the emptiest of husks.

People always assume that "they" are not the body.. that they are the "soul"
and so they can then flee this (thought to be) hell world, and fly about
having escaped it.

but of course spark and combustible material need each other for there
to be the kind of self-reflective awareness people assume is their
"god given right".

Only it doesn't work that way. "Body and Soul" so to speak, to use very
crude terms are much the same.. chocolate and peanut butter..
forms of the same thing.

Nobody had told me the rules as I posted earlier. It was DISTRESSING
to die.

The body rather stumbled around for a day.. I don't know how it lived..

I'll be very honest at this juncture of the story.. I had a "hungry ghost"
try to take over the body.. it promised "me" all sorts of knoweldge
and power if I let it live in the body.

Like that would happen.

Now.. I must admit I don't have a quick answer.. I don't know what
"persisted" enough to reject the hungry ghost? The incoming
life i would suppose.

So here I am with a second life within one life.

Now last words on this.. IMHO "reincarnation" as a concept in
this world is quite butchered.. each tiny thread of fate so to
speak incarnates as it needs to.. we are all composed of all
these threads.. until it is time to rest.

I don't normally share these private matters.. and i don't
normally speak of them in Buddhist like terms.. as I disavow
all schools of thought --- all of them.

At most they are a temporary tool for a temporary use.

Kev

a reply to: KellyPrettyBear


Each time the consciousness leaps from moment to moment object to object is death to birth... just because we have ascribed timelines just means it is a cover instead of an instant it is aeons etc etc but the something and nothing leaped to and from moments later are yet a something and nothing yet again. Meditation is the cease to grasp so wisdom arises from all of that then all of that falls away into the formless realm and peace arises... that is called seeing into its nature.

Me take over? Ha I'm not fit I would still like a family at some point just myself and another enjoying the small things without making any small things except art and craft of various sorts.

But who knows where these feet will be dragged to over the course of things arising and passing?

Like your dead body... how was it still going... how is mine... thats the same as not knowing which the old man or the corpse... nirodha samapatti look it up. The only difference is that heat you mentioned... but it does not have to be grasped by you to exist others grasp at you rub the two sticks they call Kev to mind and poof there you are.

a reply to: BEBOG

It brings me pleasure to talk with you.

As far as I can recall, I have never experienced that before.

Nothing prepares one better for grounding in reality, than to
be a member of a family; if done mindfully then all the better!

I've never cared for the either or of family or service.
If you are going to follow the so-called lefthand path,
then it could make a certain sense.. as you must preserve
your *cough* "vital juices" in order to succeed.

But you steeped in Theraveda / Zen .. there would be
no need for monasticism.. of course i don't know your
country of origin or even gender. I have no super
powers; I only know what has value.

People assume that when they are alive, that they are
"alive" in a continuous, discrete manner. That is
quite an assumption there. I hadn't thought about
the bardo state...or the aftermath in the manner
to which is clear to me in this moment.

But that's ok.. I'm not "all that". And when I am,
it will only last for a moment so to speak.. though
moment or endless ages are equivalent when
full forgetfulness is embraced.

Well enough yacking tonight.. I have a puppy that
wants my love, not to mention my beloved wife.

(BTW, going to send you an IM)

'evening

Kev

PS:

" but it does not have to be grasped by you to exist others grasp at you rub the two sticks they call Kev to mind and poof there you are".

That's quite excellent. I was just describing that earlier today, when i was going over how
quantum waveforms mutually observe each other.

I've known for many, (many) years that the "Universe" makes Kevs whenever it feels like it..
there is no deeper immortality than not needing to exist, not wanting to exist, but watching
yourself exist, whenever the seeds happen to fall into that pattern.

a reply to: KellyPrettyBear


The minor attachment that Arhats are to let go of is that ground we are speaking of... the arising and passing not due to one's clinging but due to that of others. But this is where compassion and loving kindness grows worthy of the title "noble one" so the clinging to get rid of is that resting like a corpse and oh who's calling now? That itself is also an attachment no longer attached one sees that they are bound by others attachment... left hand path would rise like a mara in a fierce form and scare them off display anger but that just builds kamma for even more attachment and not a positive one... of course the kind gentle one also keeps them around... so it is a damned if you do and damned if you dont... it is quite funny but this is where trusting impermanence occurs... as an attachment and very subtle where one will say ha those being cause of rme to arise will eventually pass... lol and well being a self delusion in that other attachment will be sure to have them always a hairs breadth away from your neck.

So practice still continues even though one cannot fall back into those states as they once did... once a non returner this is it and in the end no clinging like a glass sliding out of the hand even when gripping it... done. Then it is that awareness flowing on and on in the bliss of form to form to form leaping jumping without effort without disguises or veil. Several times in nirmanakaya flowing through all life only to be wrestled out of it by someones desire of me being in their reality was irritating like why the hell are you attaching to me? Oh guilt... well the guilt isnt mine it's yours and you carry for a reason not me... look to what isn't me! Just because I was someone you felt you had done wrong does not mean I need to be dragged to hell it was your action own it... we all have done wrong and hurt others why get personal with it? Because the mind cant rest otherwise... yeah and hell lasts a very long time I dont want to hang out with you all that time until you let go... but guess what? That not wanting too will be the very catalyst to make you have too...

So thats the danger ad why so many go left hand path and rage on those constantly resurrecting them due to ignorance... like what the hell do you expect from me? whatever it is will not help you... and thats the sick thing about a lot of religions they offer a blind salvation when in truth you have to do all the work oneself... all anyone else can do is point to a shortcut they can't piggy back you there. As oneself being cause oneself has to also except the effect... and it will not ever be resolved in attachment... even someone pointing directly at the moon and you not looking at the finger and directly at the moon with no moon or prompt you cannot be in their head and see it for them.

Thats just the way it is... some become like a hungry ghost as you said in your experience and try to take command of the husk... I had that over and over so many times and what it really grows is grace... it is the same as the knowing guest and host. Watching mental formation is not transforming mental formation... cutting off mental formation to what is seen there arises simply seeing as a function like that of a camera... those trying to inhabit well... there is a form waiting on you go get it trying to be the host of this body filled with blood puss and filth prone to sickness old age and death the same as the one you want to or have left isn't going to do anything for you... you'll just end up doing the same crap you are running from now and feeling guilty for in wanting to inhabit it...

So it gets a bit tedious especially in the lower realms where that occurs... so what to do? Breathe when all else fails theres that until there isnt then one rises out of that state until someone comes a clinging yet again...

Over time however, no big deal one can wear the mask so people leave you alone in anonymity or go put the robe on and then point at a statue of the buddha and say follow that guy dont come seeking me... as being head of a monastery is a blessing and a curse all a monk is expected to do is follow the rules anyone with position is expected to be a living buddha... and even when that is the case; one is not supposed to point out the arhats etc to anyone but just simply continue with practice.

Left hand business is honestly falling into the temptation to abuse siddhas where one becomes a titan instead of a god but in their mind of grasping they are a god not a tyrant... and well you treat them as a god and influence of speaking over time transforms them from being a tyrant and next thing they know they cease to be a titan...

As whether god or titan they where once on the path to moksha but got stuck in those siddhas... like autocorrect one forgets how to spell and then it is that dependent arising where they depend or trick themselves into thinking they need it to survive and at one point on the path they didnt but they grew a habit of using them in temptation whether for selfish gain or the good of others and then dont know any other way... due to so much time passing in using and or abusing those powers.

I noticed refraining from their use they spontaneously arise and function automatically as a natural occurrence to fit exactly a situation... and well that is in my opinion how they should express and do if one does not head down that road. As heading down that road builds kamma and when selfishness is used that kamma gets exhausted really quick... no kamma when they arise and pass naturally... they function how they should when they should theres awareness to them arising and passing too just like blinking is in ones awareness. even if they are not from you but those known as dhamma protectors... who knows? So one pays respect and hopes that if that is the case any merit from not abusing them is transferred as kamma to those naga and deva as that is just the work that they do at times... as when beings are happy they will likely leave you alone which means peace.

To get refuge from the sangha one points to the dhamma to get refuge from the dhamma one can either look to the buddha in practice or the sangha, to get refuge from the buddha? Try jesus lol

a reply to: BEBOG

And to get refuge from the Buddha you can become a "UFO" investigator.

a reply to: KellyPrettyBear


Precisely... knowing it is your path you have chosen and owning it no matter what arises and passes while walking it.