Abuse of one's fellow humans

This is a rant of two halves about the same subject, namely abuse or, more specifically, sexual abuse.

Firstly, I am sick of hearing and reading about men (and,let's face it, the majority of cases are committed by males) abusing women and, indeed, other men. Case in point is more have come forward about Spacey. Not sure if there'll be another House of Cards: indeed, he"s being written out of a film currently being filmed with him in it.

To be clear, It's not the coverage I have issue with, it's the crime. I'm as red blooded as the next man but I don't understand why some feel the need to abuse. Is there a psychological disorder at work here? I also suspect that, the richer you, the more of it gets swept under the carpet but that's's another conspiracy altogether.

Personally I think that, if found guilty, it's wedding tackle removal time. However, there are levels of abuse which I also understand...

Secondly, why are people coming forward so long after their 'incident'? For this point, rightly or wrongly, I'm more sceptical. Are people getting the scent of money and/or their moment of being in the limelight? I have no more to go on here than my own suspicions which, as I say, may we'll be wrong.

Rant over. I feel better now.

I do believe some men obviously are guilty of this crime, but many woman are also guilty of lying.

It's a tricky subject.

I think this is quite often the case. It has become acceptable to be the victim, then go for the bucks. After all, they are Actors and Actresses.



your quote...
"Secondly, why are people coming forward so long after their 'incident'? For this point, rightly or wrongly, I'm more sceptical. Are people getting the scent of money and/or their moment of being in the limelight? I have no more to go on here than my own suspicions which, as I say, may we'll be wrong."

I'll be completely honest, the day that women start coming forward about the man who raped me when I was 15, then maybe I will say something. Other than that, I probably won't ever complain about it "on paper" everyone who knows me and who was there when it happened, and those who walked in while it was happening, know what happened. The only reason I'd ever complain "on paper" is if I felt I had something to gain from it.

Anyways, how does the statute of limitations work in these cases? I never filed a police report when it happened because I felt it was my own fault at the time for inviting people over to my house and drinking with them, and then when I came to terms with the fact that it wasn't my fault, I just wanted to move on from it and put it behind me. So for those high profile cases, I don't know why they wait so long unless they are like me and will just be pleased to see those CS's go down before them.

I'd put it on the table again though, I mean if I had a chance to make money off my suffering and misery and torture, or if I even thought I had a good chance of helping to destroy his career and ruin his reputation, and I wasn't not alone in that battle, then you're GD right i'm going to try.

That's just me.

May not be right, may not be wrong but that's how i currently feel.

It's sick i don't know why people do this to others I truly think they are just as selfish as can be. It's all about them and they cannot relate to your feelings nor do they care.

-Alee

It's the new Hollywood bandwagon! It will all blow over soon and a new Hollywood scandal will emerge to takes it's place.

From my perspective, with the new conservative political climate we live in; it's ok to blame the victim if you protect one of your bros.

originally posted by: olaru12
From my perspective, with the new conservative political climate we live in; it's ok to blame the victim if you protect one of your bros.

So that's how you see conservatives? While you are likely just projecting, it's not reality. But it's also not OK to lie. We have a society that instantly acts as judge jury and executioner when it comes to this topic, and sometimes it's warranted, sometimes not. Sadly, with all the lies that have been bandied around, they can obscure the real victims.

But please, don't go full retard and try to make rape a political thing, only a real true to life dumbass would do that.

if you don't think anyone will believe you, if you think people will blame you for it, if you think the police will make it your fault somehow, if you think the person who did it will face no consequences... there's no motive to come forward.

some come forward later because they think now they will be believed, now the consequences will land on the perpetrator.

no one would put themselves through trying to bring someone to justice and all the horrible telling and retelling of the event to people who would disbelieve or find fault, unless there was a good chance of serving some justice.

i'm not sure why that is so hard to understand?

originally posted by: olaru12
From my perspective, with the new conservative political climate we live in; it's ok to blame the victim if you protect one of your bros.

How's that working out for Hollywood? It was happening for decades and people ignored it or swept it under the rug. I assume they are all deeply conservative there in Hollywood, right? Then there is that conservative icon Bill Clinton aided by his 'bro' Hillary.

Let's not make this political, because nobody wins that battle. Support people who have been victims. Prosecute perpetrators. It's that simple.

originally posted by: network dude

originally posted by: olaru12
From my perspective, with the new conservative political climate we live in; it's ok to blame the victim if you protect one of your bros.

So that's how you see conservatives? While you are likely just projecting, it's not reality. But it's also not OK to lie. We have a society that instantly acts as judge jury and executioner when it comes to this topic, and sometimes it's warranted, sometimes not. Sadly, with all the lies that have been bandied around, they can obscure the real victims.

But please, don't go full retard and try to make rape a political thing, only a real true to life dumbass would do that.

This is what I was referring to with my post. I should have included it.

www.rawstory.com...

originally posted by: NerdGoddess
I'll be completely honest, the day that women start coming forward about the man who raped me when I was 15, then maybe I will say something. Other than that, I probably won't ever complain about it "on paper" everyone who knows me and who was there when it happened, and those who walked in while it was happening, know what happened. The only reason I'd ever complain "on paper" is if I felt I had something to gain from it.

Anyways, how does the statute of limitations work in these cases? I never filed a police report when it happened because I felt it was my own fault at the time for inviting people over to my house and drinking with them, and then when I came to terms with the fact that it wasn't my fault, I just wanted to move on from it and put it behind me. So for those high profile cases, I don't know why they wait so long unless they are like me and will just be pleased to see those CS's go down before them.

I'd put it on the table again though, I mean if I had a chance to make money off my suffering and misery and torture, or if I even thought I had a good chance of helping to destroy his career and ruin his reputation, and I wasn't not alone in that battle, then you're GD right i'm going to try.

That's just me.

May not be right, may not be wrong but that's how i currently feel.

It's sick i don't know why people do this to others I truly think they are just as selfish as can be. It's all about them and they cannot relate to your feelings nor do they care.

-Alee

I don't think that you have ever said anything that I haven't agreed with.
Not knowing that you went through that I am sorry that it happened, of course.
With you saying that you don't feel that t is wrong to get what should be yours, I wholeheartedly agree.
For someone that is your age you certainly have your head screwed on right, I am always impressed. =)
There are 3 people on this board that I admire, you are one of the 3.

It appears that you know how to handle the ups and downs to your life, I can't add a thing, except that I love a success story, in your case, your life.

originally posted by: olaru12

originally posted by: network dude

originally posted by: olaru12
From my perspective, with the new conservative political climate we live in; it's ok to blame the victim if you protect one of your bros.

So that's how you see conservatives? While you are likely just projecting, it's not reality. But it's also not OK to lie. We have a society that instantly acts as judge jury and executioner when it comes to this topic, and sometimes it's warranted, sometimes not. Sadly, with all the lies that have been bandied around, they can obscure the real victims.

But please, don't go full retard and try to make rape a political thing, only a real true to life dumbass would do that.

This is what I was referring to with my post. I should have included it.

www.rawstory.com...

I'm familiar with the story. And if he's guilty, shoot him in the head. But if he isn't, and that's some political # to smear him, the accuser should be shot. This whole thing is getting out of hand. Want your opponent out, have him accused of rape. If it was you who was accused and innocent, I'd bet loosing your business, and your future might piss you off a bit. I think hurting anyone is wrong and rape is disgusting and should carry the death penalty, but then, I'm one of those who likes accountability.

Things like the case you brought up, should be investigated thoroughly and one of the two should be made a HUGE example out of. This culture needs to stop on both sides. No free passes, no looking the other way. If it's worth saying something about, it's worth a full investigation.

a reply to: MrCrow

I wrote a bit about this subject in this thread

www.abovetopsecret.com...

It's roots are much deeper then the physical abuse. People of 'lesser status' are always subjects of some sort of abuse by those around them of 'higher status'. Physical abuse is just the undeniable symptom of this underlying human disease present in at all levels of society.

There is mental, emotional, economic, political, and other forms of social abuse. It is considered 'normal' to abuse in some manner those 'you perceive' to be of lower social status then you. It forms the basis for all prejudice and violence.

It's about the illusion of 'control' and the almost biological need to feel in control of 'your surroundings'.

Every human being has physical, metal and emotional needs - if they are not met, we try to 'control' ourselves, others, physical (or mental) space in order to meet the, frankly unmeetable needs.

One simple model of these emotional needs is the SCARF model used primarily in business. SCARF stands for Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness and Fairness. (look it up if you want more info)

If your needs for these five things is not met - you will 'act-out' in some manner in the attempt to meet them - blame others, make excuses, treat someone else as you've just been treated.... all manner of defensive mechanisms kick in.

An simplistic example.

The CEO feels insecure (his board just told him he must cut expenses) and tells his manangers they each have to fire one person from their department (people they really can't afford to loose). No discussion or opportunity for 'creative' cut cutting/revenue increasing.

The manager summarily fires the person he 'likes' least.

The fired person goes home and yells at his/her kid for no reason the child can determine.

The kid kicks the dog.

The abuse not only began a chain of abuse (down the ladder so to speak) but also didn't allow, at any step along the way, any possiblitiy of creative action to either correct the 'overt' need or provide for the emotional need.

I believe this is the issue of our time and am grateful that it's being talked about from all sides.

Thanks for your rant - the solution - self reflection and learning.

a reply to: MrCrow

People did come forward at the time, Corey Feldman, a lady sued Bill Cosby. There are probably hundreds of cases of these things being settled in our out of court. The other thing is like Corey, he was ridiculed, and people didn't believe him. He was a popular actor. Now imagine you are a no name actor and make these allegations, you pretty much said goodbye to your career and nothing would happen. Finally something is happening. For any women or men that lie about this, I hope Karma comes back to them tenfold.