Tattoo's

originally posted by: Plotus
Sadness consumes me because of this. Perhaps I will one day accept it, but I will always remember the loss I felt that day.

i think you're being overly dramatic about this. it's just a tattoo. save your sadness for if she does something genuinely harmful and hurtful, and try to get over this.

i'm the only person in my family without a tattoo, so they're not my cup of tea either... but it's just body art.

edit to add: maybe if you handle this right, in a few years it will be a memory of how she did something you didn't approve of, but you handled it with grace and treated her with respect like an adult?

a reply to: Plotus

I have both my sleeves, my chest, my entire back and also my neck tatted.


Don't judge a book by its cover.

I believevmaking any prejudgment on any person for any tattoo or lack thereof is a pretty piss poor decision personally. With extreme exception i suppose - like some gangsteresque tear drops on the face or say male genitalia on a cheek. Lmao.

Otherwise - they arent a real indicator on a persons' morals or values. That is hogwash imo. Spending time in sadness over your child getting a tattoo because it means you 'failed in teaching them values' is a bit ridiculous. In general peoples values and morals evolve, change over time whether admitted or not.

Let people make their own mistakes or own successes without judgement.

That all being said, i like tattoos personally. Especially on women. I find it pretty sexy so long as they had a good artist and the art is unique. I dont even have one though. Yet. Maybe. I dont want them on a whim and theres a lot of choices!

Eta: If a tattoo is one of the biggest regrets in your life, then you have done way better than most. Also, if you immediately think less of a person solely because of tattoos - then your own values are # to begin with.

a reply to: Plotus

When I see people with tattoos , I always think "what else could you have spent the money for that on ?" Unfortunately I assume they are not very charitable people . They have literally stuck a label on themselves as some kind of warped signal to other people . Driven by their false egos . I don't GAF what they do , but the elderly and such worry about weird folk doing odd stuff .

If I had been dumb enough to get one in the past , I'd want to scrape it off me , but then wouldn't be able to . If your kids don't learn from you , don't listen to plain reason given for their own sake , then it would be disheartening yes . But think how many d*s there are out there . You cant win em all

a reply to: GeneralMayhem

You are a very sad individual, my friend.

a reply to: Plotus

i am vehemently opposed to them - and shall never get one

but meh - free choice

i do get the point of a tiny fraction of other peoples tattoos - but the vast majority - i just wonder - WTF were you thinking

Never seen a tattoo that I would call pretty. I just think about the pain-I hate needles-and I'm diabetic.

Tattoos make me think of people from prison, bikers and people who want to just be different by putting their thoughts and feelings out there to be seen. I don't care-though some are kind of scary looking and I just stay away from those types.

No one in my family, close or extended has any tattoo that I can see-been to reunions so I would know.

I think they might run in families or those that want to make a social statement. Just a cultural and societal statement in modern times.

Don't judge much about tattoos-like I said-just see the pain and that's not for me.

Oh, my adult children never asked to get one either. But it's their bodies-must not be their thing either.

a reply to: GeneralMayhem

How very mature of you. Go be charitable somewhere else?

a reply to: GeneralMayhem

Well you would probably be wrong in assuming that they're not charitable people. . .

My Dad had a ton of them ...did 3 bits in the Pen .Mom and I never got any while my other 5 siblings have them .My 3 boys don't as far as I know .My brothers son has a shop . Thinking about it now I am kind of surprised I never did seeing I was always drawing something on my hands and arms with a pen .

a reply to: knowledgehunter0986

Why would you make yourself a cover if not an expression of yourself? You will be judged many times, rightly or wrongly, by your appearance.

Granted, in a fair world you would be judged by you, the person, but this is the world we live in. However, maybe you like the attention and look for others with similar interests through your tattoos-just guessing.

originally posted by: GeneralMayhem
a reply to: Plotus

When I see people with tattoos , I always think "what else could you have spent the money for that on ?" Unfortunately I assume they are not very charitable people .

Do you also think that when you see an obese person who could have spent all that junk food money on charity or maybe worked off some weight volunteering somewhere?

What about people with nice clothes? Or people wearing hats? Or driving cars? Or drinking alcohol?

Unless you spend 100% of your energy, time, and money to charity, you are spending a large portion of those things on yourself. Just because the way somebody invests in themselves is different than the way you do does not mean they are any less charitable.

What a ridiculous notion.

Ay , truth hurts eh ?

a reply to: Plotus

I have a tattoo. It is a small one, no one would ever see it unless I show them. I just chose to get one for personal reasons and didn't feel the need to have it on display. It was something I did for myself and meant to be kept secret.

Never judged someone by how they looked really. Been around a lot of people and have seen the most well dressed ones be the biggest jerks and the ones who look like they're bikers be the most helpful and kind. Can't say having a tattoo or not made the difference in their personalities.

I didn't know people thought it was a bad thing honestly. Learn something new everyday I guess...

Thanks,
blend

A lyric comes to mind....... of my state of mind and place in the universe. The Chambers Brothers 'Time'

"Now the time has come, Time!
There's no place to run, Time!
Might get burned up by the sun, Time!

Well, I've had my fun, Time!
Well, I've been loved and put aside, Time!
And I've been crushed by tumblin' tide, Time!"



And I've been crushed by tumblin' tide, Time! resonates with me. My time for contributions has passed.

You sound extremely ignorant.
Your total aversion to the idea of your daughter having a tattoo stems solely from psychological inferiority on your part. Most human beings have some form of a subconscious desire to "fit in", or be like others around them. This takes many forms - religion, politics, sports, etc. If you grow up in a large family, all of whom are Catholic, for example, you will be very likely to be Catholic yourself. If on the other hand you grow up in a large family, all of whom are Muslim, you will be very likely to be a Muslim yourself. This is a natural part of human psychology - we feel good when our beliefs or ways are validated and accepted by our peers, and we feel bad when we feel like our beliefs or ways are criticized or not accepted by our peers.
This group-enforced rule to fit in very commonly takes place regarding physical appearance. If I were to put decorative scars all over my face and bones through my ears and nose, do you think the average modern American would find me strange? Of course they would. But this "strangeness" is not from the appearance itself, it is from ignorance and total lack of perspective. There have been many different times, cultures, practices, etc all throughout the entirety of human history where such a thing would not only be considered "normal", but be expected. The particular tiny patch of time and place on the Earth that you happen to inhabit is insignificant in terms of the entirety of humanity, and it does not give you permission to dictate what appearance standards are "normal" for another conscious human being.
Your inability to recognize these things is the cause of your discomfort, not your daughter's appearance. What a person looks like has no tangible effect on the world. If a good, productive employee shows up to work one day with a blue mohawk, will what their hair looks like cause their job performance to suffer? No, it won't, because it doesn't mean anything and it has no effect on anything. Now what happens if that person gets fired because of what they look like? Well, then the company just lost a productive employee simply because of what he looked like, not because of what he can or can't do.
If you work in a company that has a dress code, for example that you are required to wear a suit, ask yourself why. Does coming to work in slippers and pajamas lower your intelligence by 40 points? Are you unable to type at your work computer if your pajama pants are too comfortable? Are you unable to make a phone call or send an email?
I have multiple tattoos. I have a tested 142 IQ, am a member of Mensa, have had many jobs, am just about done with a Bachelor of Science in cyber security with a good GPA, and will be earning a 6 figure salary some day... With tattoos.

So, to summarize:
You, as a human being, have no right whatsoever to tell another human being what to look like.
The only meaning physical appearance has is that which psychologically inferior people attribute to it in order to create a way for them to validate themselves through fitting in by adhering to meaningless standards.
And finally, grow up.

originally posted by: Plotus
Would you feel a sadness that your time spent instilling values in them was for naught ?

So... My daughter having now tatoos is proof I failed as a parent and her as a human being?

She is amongst the top students in her college, on her way to the university with high praises from the teachers, and about to either become a specialized nurse, or a doctor, she hasn't decided yet.

She is polite, helpful and love helping those in need. She took her time before getting in a relationship to concentrate on her studies. Some guys tried to go out with her, but they were what is called lover boys and didn't want that as she has respect for herself.
She does have a boyfriend now, a fine young man who loves her not only if all is well, but also if there are difficulties in front of them, which doesn't happen often.

I also did the drawing for her first tatoo, how bad can I be, right?

If you feel you failed as a parent because of a tatoo, it is because you felt that way before, and use this as an excuse to blame your daughter for your own perceived failures which should have been addressed WAAYYYY before this happened.

And by reading your post, things aren't going to go well anytime soon. I feel sorry for you and pray you can sort things out before you REALLY lose your daughter.

a reply to: Plotus

It's her body, right?

a reply to: Abysha

Clothes , hats , cars , fat : All useful
Twatoos : Not useful