In your opinion: when should you talk about gender/sexuality to kids?

a reply to: Ghost147

I've found it isn't in any way like I had expected "the talk" to go. It's not so much a talk as it is filtering age and comprehension appropriate information out to the kids as they've grown and asked questions. We're raising them in a more conservative, traditional manner, so the discussions to date have been very much in the male/female, Judeo-Christian value systems and gender roles.

My daughter is a girl. She knows she's a girl. She wants my make-up, dresses, and wants to marry a prince. She thinks everytime a little boy talks to her he "likes" her and wants to know if he can be the prince lol of course the boys would rather play in the dirt so thats what she does.
I will not explain anything except there are boys like daddy and girls like us. She's 7 and doesn't need to know about anything else. I didn't. There are only two genders, I don't care how you slice it. Mutations occur, sure, but why explain that? Parents should be worried with making a happy home life and proper education ( normal education not sexuality or genders). And to me a teacher or schools period have no right to teach about all the trans/pan/humanoids . That's just my opinion.

originally posted by: eveningstars242
My daughter is a girl. She knows she's a girl. She wants my make-up, dresses, and wants to marry a prince. She thinks everytime a little boy talks to her he "likes" her and wants to know if he can be the prince lol of course the boys would rather play in the dirt so thats what she does.
I will not explain anything except there are boys like daddy and girls like us. She's 7 and doesn't need to know about anything else. I didn't. There are only two genders, I don't care how you slice it. Mutations occur, sure, but why explain that? Parents should be worried with making a happy home life and proper education ( normal education not sexuality or genders). And to me a teacher or schools period have no right to teach about all the trans/pan/humanoids . That's just my opinion.

And then you have parents who have little boys who want to do the same things. What do you? The parent's didn't ask for it, the child didn't ask for it -- but there it is. Consider your child a "mutant"? Punish them into submission? Take them to a shrink and have them medicated beyond recognition? Or do you want them to be accepted and not bullied? Even if that means having teachers at school to help them understand?

originally posted by: kyleplatinum
a reply to: Ghost147

I believe the "talk" is not necessary at all.

I agree with this statement. If you have to talk about gender, then you're probably saying stuff that doesn't make sense.

a reply to: angeldoll
Maybe you want to answer the first two question as I never get any answers to these. It´s like kryptonite it seems.

Why should 98 out of 100 children be bothered with gender issues just because there could be 1 or 2 children? Where is the proportionality here?

Why is it that it´s generally accepted that parents have their own reign in raising their kids but when it comes to "gender identity" an outsider that in allmost all of the cases, don´t has own kids, knows what´s best?



I mean seriously what do those people think they are? How is it, that it´s mostly the younger, millenial generation and not evenly spread across all ages, now that it´s more accepted? Why are only the younger, pre or in puberty experiencing this? Could it be their insecureness?

I´ve been a while on earth and what I noticed is that those who feel left outside, almost everytime group up. I guess before transgender, it was "emo" and before that, it was satanic cults and before that, who knows.

originally posted by: verschickter
a reply to: fiverx313

Just because 1 or 2 out of 100 could be like you felt, 99 other children should be bothered and sometimes confused* with that? I´d call that disproportionate to the extreme.

No offense, just like to hear your thought on that.

*in the sense of, they probably are already confused by the topic alone, NOT confused in the sense of "overturned" or something like that. I feel something like this will come up if I do not write this disclaimer. Not necessary from you.

personally, i think kids at that age are confused by and making their own sense of the whole world. it doesn't make sense to hide a whole section of the human experience from them because the questions are awkward. they will work it out on their own.

parents and society tend to make this so much a higher-stakes thing, because of the hysteria and fear that your child may be gay or non-gender-conforming. shutting down those questions and making them taboo topics is likely to give all kids issues, not just the small proportion.

a reply to: fiverx313

hide a whole section of the human experience from them

I thought they´ll find out on their own?

It´s not like it´s not all over the news constantly everywhere, hardly "taboo" or hiding. Like you wrote, they will work it out on your own I think. No need for "queer kids stuff" and pre-puberty transgender education then.

Why is it that everyone and everything constantly tells you that as the parent you know your child best ... until something like this comes up and then you are uniquely unqualified and some "helpful" adult other who doesn't know anything about your child needs to stand in and teach them this stuff no matter what?

originally posted by: verschickter
a reply to: angeldoll
Maybe you want to answer the first two question as I never get any answers to these. It´s like kryptonite it seems.

Why should 98 out of 100 children be bothered with gender issues just because there could be 1 or 2 children? Where is the proportionality here?

Why is it that it´s generally accepted that parents have their own reign in raising their kids but when it comes to "gender identity" an outsider that in allmost all of the cases, don´t has own kids, knows what´s best?



I mean seriously what do those people think they are? How is it, that it´s mostly the younger, millenial generation and not evenly spread across all ages, now that it´s more accepted? Why are only the younger, pre or in puberty experiencing this? Could it be their insecureness?

I´ve been a while on earth and what I noticed is that those who feel left outside, almost everytime group up. I guess before transgender, it was "emo" and before that, it was satanic cults and before that, who knows.

There is a future your child will be going into, that is unlike yours. If nature takes it course, you won't be there for much of it. We can hope to prepare them for as much as we can, for things that might come their way.

I think the "education" in schools has more to with helping students accept those who might be different, rather than encouraging transsexualism. In other words, to keep those one or two kids in the school from being bullied and ostracized socially. If it was your child, would you want him/her being insulted, beaten up, an outcast, or treated like everybody else? I think that's what it's about.

Why are you equating transsexualism with satanic cults? I understood your post entirely, except for that.

If your objection to your child having the same education as other children is so strong, maybe find a private school, church school, or home school? The future is the future. We have to face it head on.

a reply to: angeldoll

At the rate we're going, kids who are "normal" are going to be the ones being beaten up and ostracized because they won't have an "identity group box" to fit into.

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: angeldoll

At the rate we're going, kids who are "normal" are going to be the ones being beaten up and ostracized because they won't have an "identity group box" to fit into.

I think that's being overly dramatic. Nature in people is strong. Most people are not transgender, and they won't ever be unless there is something pregnant mother's are unwittingly using to create the circumstances in which they are formed.

Something that is ingested, breathed, something tactile, I don't know. Maybe there is a higher incidence, or maybe people are simply speaking out more.

But don't make it to be a crisis, because it's not.

originally posted by: verschickter
I thought they´ll find out on their own?

It´s not like it´s not all over the news constantly everywhere, hardly "taboo" or hiding. Like you wrote, they will work it out on your own I think. No need for "queer kids stuff" and pre-puberty transgender education then.

idk, seems to me that if it were all over the news and media you might as well talk to them about it. otherwise they're just getting sensationalized pictures of it.

Though I haven't kids, a good friend and mother told me that she told her daughter the reality of the situation.
That there are men who like women, women who like men, men who like men, women who like women, men who like both, women who like both. Though transgenderism was not part of the conversation, I imagine she would tell her that some men believe they are women, and some women believe they are men, and get help for this accordingly, or some people just don't care what gender they are.

I agree with her that when it comes to kids the reality should be laid bare. And that is the reality of the situtation.
Though when it comes to the finer details of sexual intercourse, I would try and avoid that. Kids should be allowed to be kids and that stuff should not be a part of youth IMO.

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: angeldoll

At the rate we're going, kids who are "normal" are going to be the ones being beaten up and ostracized because they won't have an "identity group box" to fit into.

Or kids who don't want to accept that everything is " ok " and normal , yet their intentions are not to bully or be malicious.

Differences of opinion on how one views issues, especially if a certain faith is involved , will always exist. As far as some topics go , I think it's best to let the child lead the conversation , yet not always. Because of predators you almost have to have the " personal space " " bad touch , good touch" chat
fairly early on.
The thing with talking with kids is picking the right moment , making them feel relaxed ,and explaining some things in a way little minds will understand.

It's best to do it earlier in these times ( discuss sexuality, gay sexuality , gender dysphoria) because the child entertainment industries are slowly being saturated with the topics ... and does someone really want schools, Disney, MTV, and all the crap in commercials to be the mediums in which their child learns about some of the most important topics concerning life .

a reply to: Ghost147

I would explain the biology of sex to quite young children, and i'd be careful to use the correct terms like womb rather than "mummy's tummy". I would also explain it in terms of love and the responsibility of having a baby to care for. I would also mention the dangers of disease transmission between people who are physically close. I would not mention any symptoms, merely that if you kiss or touch a lot of people then you could become unwell if they are not well.

When the child was older and asked questions about sexual preferences, I'd explain about love between people which has nothing to do with their skin color or physical appearance. If they were specifically interested, say about homosexuality, I would explain that homosexuals cannot have children but sometimes people fall in love even though they cannot have children.

a reply to: fiverx313

You´re right on that, basically forced to talk about it now. Some personal issues, that were not a thing for 99% of the population, now have to be discussed just because of some whiney LGBTQs or "whatever" (so no one feels excluded).

I´m still of the opinion it more often is a mental thing than hormonal. That´s not to say they are any less worth than any other being. My niche is lesbian end even she says it not something normal. She´s not hiding it but goes along very well with the community, that is a catholic one, in Germany btw.

She´s just not shoving her private life down the throats of others and that´s what most appreciate I think. Because she didnt centered her whole life around homosexuality!

a reply to: angeldoll

Maybe I need to clear something, my kids are long grown up.

I think the "education" in schools has more to with helping students accept those who might be different, rather than encouraging transsexualism. In other words, to keep those one or two kids in the school from being bullied and ostracized socially. If it was your child, would you want him/her being insulted, beaten up, an outcast, or treated like everybody else? I think that's what it's about.

My niche is lesbian for example and I don´t have any problem with it. But let´s not mix up homosexuality with transgender. Of course I do not want ANYONE to be beaten but you circled around the first answer with that.
If it´s so obvious that other pupils start to mob/bullie them, it´s the god damn job of the teacher to restore common sense again and that means also, talking about the issue.

But making it something that NEEDS to be taught, I strongly disagree.

Why are you equating transsexualism with satanic cults? I understood your post entirely, except for that.

My god, I felt (but not hoped) something like this would happen. I hardly equated transsexualism (I thought it´s gender, not sexual?) with satanic cults. I just listed some groups that -in my observation- is made up from mostly not accepted kids. That is cruel in itself of course and unnecessary, and not the way I raised my children btw.

But you can´t deny, if you went to a public school in a first world country that the "outsiders" often group together into one, often polarizing, group. In my days they were called "gravers" (like in "grave"), during my kids time there were the satanics and "emo"s. They often take a standpoint in society that is rejected, thus the recjected feel welcome and join. Notice how it´s most often some disphoric or depressive theme (satanic, gravers, emo) connected to mental wellbeing. Mostly because those people are not as judging as others. So they integrate to have a somehow likeminded group of peers.

It´s never okay to bullie someone, regardless of the birth place, sexual orientation or whatever external property they exhibit of course.

If your objection to your child having the same education as other children is so strong, maybe find a private school, church school, or home school?

Don´t put words in my mouth I never said, that´s something I really can´t stand. Sexual or gender education was never something with top priority, regardless if you see it like that or not, it´s a fact. And 99% went along with it very well, just not the millenial 1% that thinks the world owes them everything.

The future is the future. We have to face it head on.

We don´t have to face it head on, that is rubbish. We change the future everyday with every action we take or not take. I decided to speak up against overly dramatizing the issue. I accept it but not in the excessive way it´s done currently.

originally posted by: trollz

Mark my words, it's only a matter of time until people start promoting pedophilia to children under the guise of political correctness and freedom of attraction.

You're not far wrong with that assertion .....


Funnily enough, while reading through this thread I have the TV on in the

background [lol!! multi tasking!) and the programme is 'Law and Order

Special victims unit' and that is the subject matter of the episode, a pedophile

is in court claiming it is a sexual orientation and is not wrong, and like mixed

marriages and homosexuality is now excepted ... pedophilia will also be one

day!



@verschickter

I am not advocating it .... just reporting what I was seeing, and its not the first

time I've come across it either!!

pedophilia will also be one day!

Not if we stand up against it! I´ll never accept that happening, as long as I can breath.

originally posted by: angeldoll

I think the "education" in schools has more to with helping students accept those who might be different, rather than encouraging transsexualism. In other words, to keep those one or two kids in the school from being bullied and ostracized socially. If it was your child, would you want him/her being insulted, beaten up, an outcast, or treated like everybody else? I think that's what it's about.

I think if schools taught children to respect others and their differences,

their views that were different, and they didn't bully and insult others

who had another point of view ....


Manners, kindness and empathy will take them further in life, than worrying

about who was what sex/gender, which in the end is purely a personal issue,

and is surely not for the discussion, dissection and consumption of all and

sundry.