Dream Insight regarding deceased Dad

I am a Daddy's girl through and through. He passed away last summer during what should have been a routine procedure, albeit a major surgery. He had open heart surgery to fix a heart valve defect (was bi-valve instead of tri-valve) and one aorta/vein that was 70% blocked. He was otherwise in great health, no diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. His death on the operating table was a huge shock and in my view the doctors are to blame, but that is another story.

I have had quite a few dreams of my father since his death, and they have felt completely real to me. I wake up remembering every detail, even smells. Last night was no different.

I had the most vivid dream yet. It took place at the house where I grew up. I was my current age, but lived there with my Mom, and I think some of my siblings. It was nighttime, at first, and I was in my bedroom, complete with bunk beds from my youth, but I wasn't in bed or anything. My Mom was in and out of my parent's bedroom to the living room. I went out to the living room to ask my Mom something and there was my Dad, sitting in his chair, as if nothing had happened.

I was shocked to see him, and even said wth, I thought you died?! He laughed and my Mom said he hadn't, that it was all faked and he was fine. My Dad agreed with her and said it had been faked. He was sitting there, wrapping an ace wrap around his elbow, just like I had seen him do prolly a thousand times. They were talking to each other as if everything was normal.

When I looked out the front door, it was just beginning to get light outside, like dawn breaking. My Mom had gone over to pull open the curtains of the front window, and both of them were acting like nothing was different at all. I can remember almost every little detail of the dream, everything I felt, the smell of the ben gay, the chirping of the birds outside, and that feeling has stayed with me all day long.

In my opinion, my Dad is coming to visit me in a way that is possibly easiest from the other side. I need to try to ask next time he visits me, but don't know how to do that.

Does anyone have any insight they can offer?

Someone told me the night turning to day may have some significance... I would appreciate any opinions, as I know nothing about meanings in dreams.

Thanks so much!!

a reply to: Menrva

First of all I'd like of offer my condolences.

I know how you feel. When I see deceased loves ones, half the time they're trying to contact me via the phone. Did you and your Dad have anything you shared that may shed some light on how to interact while your in your dream with him, such as pennies always appearing or, a favorite saying or word you had with him, or perhaps the birds you see outside your place?

Sometimes it only takes one thing to trigger it, often times it's what helps lucid dreams happen. I don't have anything else to offer im sorry.

I have had similar experiences following the deaths of loved ones and that's exactly how it seems to me, an attempt at communication.

We buried my mom on Saturday and I had a similar dream last night.

a reply to: Neith

Thank you for your reply and condolences.

I'm trying to think of something like you mentioned and maybe I can look for it next time I dream of him. I need to start researching lucid dreaming!

a reply to: abe froman

I am so sorry for your loss. It's the worst pain ever to lose a parent.

I'm glad she came to visit you so quickly. Were you two very close?

Menrva and Abe, my condolences to you both on the loss of a Parent. I lost my Dad almost 10 years ago and come October it will make two years since my Mom passed.

Though I have had many lucid dreams, I am not quite sure what to make of them.

So sorry for your loss. I still have "contact" dreams with passed family despite how much time has passed. Guessing these types of dreams happen more so in cases where an abrupt death has happened.

Possible your still in parts of the grieving process, which is different for everyone. Give yourself time for that and know it is alright, but also don't be afraid to seek help.

In the end know that they are with you, want you to remain strong and positive. Talking about it helps-good start here, maybe finding a group to relate to that has meeting nights to talk about this. I have found that parental loss groups are harder to find however-at least for victims of homicide survivors which I am.

Could they be contacting you from the "spirit realm"? I've always taken that into consideration but it seems we really don't know. But I've had too many coincidence events happen surrounding these types of dreams for me to rule that out. Synchronicity is also what someone may deem it as.

a reply to: Menrva

He was sitting there, wrapping an ace wrap around his elbow, just like I had seen him do prolly a thousand times. They were talking to each other as if everything was normal.

"They" say, you know the 'they sayers', that passing isn't an ending just a continuation on another level. We all eventually go there. He's just checking in letting you know he's fine, be around, be seein' ya.

Warms the heart don't it?

originally posted by: Night Star
Menrva and Abe, my condolences to you both on the loss of a Parent. I lost my Dad almost 10 years ago and come October it will make two years since my Mom passed.

Though I have had many lucid dreams, I am not quite sure what to make of them.

I am so very sorry for your loss as well...

originally posted by: dreamingawake
So sorry for your loss. I still have "contact" dreams with passed family despite how much time has passed. Guessing these types of dreams happen more so in cases where an abrupt death has happened.

Possible your still in parts of the grieving process, which is different for everyone. Give yourself time for that and know it is alright, but also don't be afraid to seek help.

In the end know that they are with you, want you to remain strong and positive. Talking about it helps-good start here, maybe finding a group to relate to that has meeting nights to talk about this. I have found that parental loss groups are harder to find however-at least for victims of homicide survivors which I am.

Could they be contacting you from the "spirit realm"? I've always taken that into consideration but it seems we really don't know. But I've had too many coincidence events happen surrounding these types of dreams for me to rule that out. Synchronicity is also what someone may deem it as.

I still have dreams with my grandma in them, and she passed away over twenty years ago. These dreams always take place at her house. I know she is trying to tell me something, because the dreams are constant for years now.. And almost always the same...

I do believe I am completely still grieving. It still seems surreal to me that he is gone. I still think oh, I need to call Dad and tell him/ask him this or that. I spoke to him on a daily basis, and it's been hard for that to no longer be happening.. Ugh...

a reply to: Menrva

Someone had once explained to me that the brain's structure changes a lot during a heavy loss(immediate family, parent, child, loved one). Especially the closer of those to you. The side effects can be surreal(good term for this), such as the dreams. You may also feel an "off or odd" high or flouting feeling when emotions come up about the person. They also explained that is how the brain is healing, adjusting with the differences*. *Ps They weren't a Dr. or nurse but that explanation made the most sense to me from someone who had losses.

a reply to: Menrva


I spent time with my Mom every day, sometimes two or three times a day as I lived in the apartment above hers. I know how you feel.

I too had a lucid dream with my Grandmother in it. I think I mentioned it in another thread. It's been well over 20 years since she passed. I had such a feeling of joy and peace. It seemed soooo real.

originally posted by: dreamingawake
a reply to: Menrva

Someone had once explained to me that the brain's structure changes a lot during a heavy loss(immediate family, parent, child, loved one). Especially the closer of those to you. The side effects can be surreal(good term for this), such as the dreams. You may also feel an "off or odd" high or flouting feeling when emotions come up about the person. They also explained that is how the brain is healing, adjusting with the differences*. *Ps They weren't a Dr. or nurse but that explanation made the most sense to me from someone who had losses.

This actually makes sense too. I have felt like my life is no longer mine. It's like I'm on the outside looking into my life, but through my own eyes, if that makes sense..

a reply to: Menrva

Yes, that does make sense.

a reply to: Menrva

There is always a light in a dream when people that were close to you and are deceased attempt to contact you.

In your case, the opening of the curtains.

In other cases, they will have a bright light around and behind them.

Mainly, they are trying to tell you that they are happy, so you should be happy.

Unless they say something specific, you may also take it to mean to remember advice they gave in the past, that to follow it now may be important.

The darkness of sorrow in replaying your fathers death was replaced by the light (relief from pain/sorrow) in remembering your father as living. Its not our destination, but the journey that's important. So be thankful for being part of his journey, and his happiness by embracing his life, not his death.

I do believe that those who have passed can come and visit us in the dream world. I believe that after passing you exist on the ethereal plane, and while dreaming you can interact with this plane of existence.

The reasons for my belief are based on a NDE i had (ive had 2). About 6-7 years after my grandfather passed, I had a dream that I was with him. We were in the small town he lived next to (pop. 182), except it was an old westeren version of this town. Dirt roads, cowboys, you name it. I found it really odd and metioned it to my mother. She told me how much he loved the 'Wild West', and how much he loved the small town he lived next to. I also told my father and he said, "if he went to heaven, that would be it!" (Refering to the town and wild west theme).
I had suspected then that i may have traveled somewhere outside my own head, but wasnt set on the idea.
That happened when I was 17. 10 years, and many bad decisions later, i came to be an addict. Constantly using drugs to avoid facing my faults as a person. I overdosed on strong narcotics, and by the report done by the paramedics, i was without a pulse or respiration for 1 minute and 48 seconds. I was unconcious for approximately 15 minutes before the paramedics had gotten there, and lost my pulse about 2 mins after they had arrived. I mention all this because skeptical people say I was dreaming all of the following events and nothing happened during the time i was 'dead'. I just want to present all the facts and the reader can make up their mind.
I dont remember losing consciousness. I remember walking through a 'void' it was a brownish haze. Like Something you would see if in a dust storm. I felt lost and could see a town ahead of me that i couldnt get to. The faster i walked or ran, the more it seems to stretch out and away from me, like running on a treadmill. I stopped and breathed a sigh of defeat. Immediately after, the brown haze started to lift and I could make out buildings and people. Once again I was in the 'ol' west'. Except this didnt feel like a dream. I felt the sunshine, the wind, sounds and smells were as clear as the world is now as I type this.
I saw a saloon with the butterfly doors and walked in. It was full of people. Some looked familiar, some didn't. Then I heard my name called several times. Through the sea of smiling, happy faces came my Grandfather, except he looked younger and healthier than i have ever seen him! He hugged me thentook a half step back, grabbing me by both shoulders saying, "its so great to see you! Youve grown into a fine young man!" I knew his assumptions were not true, because I was a drug addict. Far from a "fine young man". I didnt say this out loud, but I thought it. When I did, it was as if he heard me. He faced dropped from happy to concerned as he said, "Youre not suppossed to be here! What did you do! Why are you here!?" Everyone in the saloon stopped their joyous timeand stared at me. Approximately 70 people staring at me with blank faces.
My grandfather put his arm around me and walked me outside where all of the people on the street were staring at me too. He said, "I love ya kid, but you gotta fix your problem. You dont belong here. Not now. Ill see you soon enough." As he lifted his arm off my shoulder, it felt as though I was on a rubberband that had reached its maximum stretch and was snapped back though the town, through the haze and eventually from the sky. (I dont recall going through the sky, but as the NDE was ending, I felt like i had jumped from a plane) I landed on a hard, uncomfortable bed with a jolt and jumped up gasping. It felt as if I was underwater for 2 minutes and I was desperately trying to regain my air supply.
I heard "Got Him!!", then someone speaking into a radio. It was the paramedics he responded to the 911 call made by my "friends". I broke down in tears trying to comprehend what happened. I didnt understand why these guys took me from a wonderful place where i was happy.
I spent the next 2 days contemplating my life, then went to a rehab facility.
Since this experience, ive had a few more dreams where my Grandfather was happy that i "visited".
Im positive theres a corolation between the two.

a reply to: Menrva

I know its strange to say, but when people "die", they are not really dead. They are in another dimension...i call it the other side, some call it heaven.

so, i guess what I am trying to say is...We never die.

Some of us have more trouble than others crossing over and dealing with bardos (between lives) and reincarnation.

Your dad is over there contacting you through your dreams. Its real. At least I truly think it is.

Try and have a conversation with him, by all means, it IS him.

I want to thank each of you for providing your insight and experiences. It warms my heart to know that others have had similar experiences in their life. Even though we are grieving for our loved ones, they are finding ways to show us they are still nearby.