Sad Lisa

I wasn't there when you needed me. I didn't want to understand your pain. I couldn't be the person you wanted me to be. As a result, you chose to leave and my world was irreparably changed from that moment onward. While I don't enjoy dwelling on the past, I can't help but wonder what it would be like if you were still part of my life. But that is selfish thinking. You chose your path and I had to accept it. Still I try keep parts of you alive within my life, not intentionally of course, but my subconscious cannot suppress it all.

I know you still think about me at times, I can feel it. When I'm looking into the pouring rain and trying to figure out what is my purpose for being here, I do not find the answer, but I feel it lies with you. A strange feeling tells me that our paths have crossed in some alternative existence and there is a very real reason we met in this one. A mysterious, convoluted and currently indiscernible one, but still a purpose no doubt.

Nevertheless, I am torn between guiding the hands of fate to shape my own destiny, and just letting what will be transpire on its own accord. Which is the correct path? Tell me, Lisa.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

I hope that Lisa reads your words and can offer you some relief from what reads as much pain and confusion.

Good luck on your journey and I hope you find the right path for you and peace.

Unrequited love can be the worst, IMO, from experience.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

Beautiful. How do you deal with it?
Is it acceptance, something to overcome, or a melancholic treasure?

originally posted by: Dark Ghost

Nevertheless, I am torn between guiding the hands of fate to shape my own destiny, and just letting what will be transpire on its own accord. Which is the correct path? Tell me, Lisa.

I believe she already has told you...
Your FATE is yours and yours alone. Make it what you will.
Do not depend on others to shape it for you.

a reply to: DogMeat

But free will says I chose my own fate. The question which "fate path" to choose is very valid.

what do you mean you weren't there for her .... Financially ,Emotionally ,Physically ?....and why weren't you there for her ?.. That's really the big question....she left because you weren't there...so why ?.... Take a deep hard look at yourself , find the issue, and change it. ...it won't be easy, but if you don't get to the root of the cause you will forever be In The same spin cycle in any relationship. .....

Awareness is good. Learn and move on. Some things are just not meat to be.

Without the details, sounds like you just didn't have the same interests, goals or whatever.

These feels of regret will pass. Hopefully, you can take this experience and evolve and find the right girl-when you do it will come together more naturally. Trust your instincts.

originally posted by: Peeple
a reply to: DogMeat

But free will says I chose my own fate. The question which "fate path" to choose is very valid.

He stated "shape my own destiny"

That is his choice. The other is sitting by watching someone or something shape you.
IMHO, he has but one choice... Make your own Destiny, not let someone make it for you.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

i've been in relationships where the other person didn't make enough time for me, didn't know what was going on in my life, and wasn't there to offer support when i needed him. that really sucked and i couldn't deal with it, so after repeatedly pointing out that it was a problem and nothing changing, i left. i'm very sorry that you had to learn this lesson the hard way, but if you learn anything from it, learn this: a relationship is only as good as what you both put into it. falling in love is the easiest part of being in a relationship, and it does very little to actually sustain a relationship over a long period of time. you have to actively commit to your relationship, and put work into it. you have to make the other person a priority, always in your top 5 (though your significant other does not always have to be your #1, and be wary of people who demand that).

on the other hand, you also said "i couldn't be who you wanted me to be." if lisa wanted you to be anyone other than yourself, then she was never the right person for you. the relationship would have devolved into her constantly pressuring you to change yourself, and you feeling inadequate because you can only ever be yourself. it's possible, if she was constantly pushing you to change, that she was actually pushing you away, and that might be why you weren't there.

as far as your fate, for as long as you are alive, you have a purpose. embrace your fate, and choose what you want to make out of your life, but also look at the curve balls that life provides as clues to other possibilities. and definitely give yourself some time to be sad, if that's what you need right now. then after you feel a little better, maybe look at the parts of yourself that lisa didn't like and embrace them, and focus on being more YOU.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

Good Cat Stevens track. But I'm sure you knew.

a reply to: TNMockingbird

She never used to be into websites like ATS, but perhaps she has changed a bit in that regard, I doubt it though. Thanks for your kind words.

a reply to: Peeple

Glad you enjoyed it. To be honest, it's not as if I think about her every day and feel a permanent void in my heart. It's more just certain things remind me of her from time to time and I felt the need to express it artistically, perhaps so somebody else could relate somehow. I have accepted her decision, but it is painful to think of what I am probably missing out on.

a reply to: DogMeat

People are free to change their views and realise they were wrong. It's important to add that she also did things that hurt me when we were together and I know she would be regretting doing those things too. I'm still not sold on the fate vs. free will debate.

a reply to: Meldionne1

I was there in all those areas to some degree, but I could have been more supportive emotionally as she was dealing with things from her past. Her reasons for leaving were mainly her own issues she needed to deal with. She is the only person with whom I had this problem of not being supportive enough in an emotional capacity to my knowledge.

a reply to: Justso

Thanks for the wise words.

a reply to: anotheramethyst

I try to be myself to some extent while also accommodating the needs of others to a reasonable extent. She did want to change me in some ways and I wanted to change her in some ways too. Maybe we were not a good match, but intuition tells me differently.

a reply to: CJCrawley

Yep, it's one of my favourite songs of his. Unfortunately, whenever the song comes up I tend to think of her, not only because her name was Lisa but also because of the sadness of the song and other themes within it.